h2ofrek Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 So our marriage is over, but we are closer now than we ever were married. She is opening up about everything to me and is feeling the trust she was always looking for. She said that the reason she needed the divorce was so that she could find her self, get back what she lost and focus on the children. I can see that and I know that I need to fix myself too. This seems healthy. But then my children mention the trip she took while I was underway and all of the time she is spending on the phone with the OM. I asked her about him and it turns out that he was an old flame that got her pregnant in HS and he asked her to marry him because of the child. She dumped him because of that and had the child then gave her to close freinds of the family. So, after she decided to find herself, he gets in touch with her out of the blue. They have had a whirlwind romance since and she is now making plans to get a place with him and start, what sounds like, a new mrriage with him. She carries her cell phone around all the time and when it rings, she drops what she is doing and talks to him. It's almost like a junky and heroin. We only have a few days together until she flies out and I am so worried that she is going to screw herself up with this rebound and my children are very confused and don't like what mommy is becoming. But we are still madly in love. I guess I am just spinning my wheels, but I am jealous, of course, but also deeply worried that she will not be staying true to herself and oh I don't what I'm saying anymore...I am just so confused and worried. Any help?
AriaIncognito Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 I'm sorry for what you are going through. Unfortunately I dont know if you can say "we are so in love" when clearly she is moving on to someone else. As painful as that is, you need to let her go and make her own mistakes. Of course it gets tricky when you're impacting the lives of children. I suppose the two of you need to sit down and discuss the ramifications of dating on the children, and when they should even be exposed to it and such. Do you think she is willing to do that?
Author h2ofrek Posted September 30, 2007 Author Posted September 30, 2007 I can talk to her and have, but it was that I was worried that everthing that she is working so hard to find for herself and our children is going to be wasted on this new relationship. I also explained that what she is doing, but is not willing to admit to, is that she is just moving from one relationship to the next and that my daughter is not going to take away a healthy idea of what she will need for personal happiness from watching this all unfold. Thanx for the words of wisdom
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