child_of_isis Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 I don't know how to deal with this or how to fix it. Here is the issue...I pull back and start getting on with my life. The X starts calling several times a day leaving messages on the answering machine (landline). Eventually, the continous hearing of his voice breaks me and I give in and talk to him. We hook up, then he pretty much treats me like crap. So, I pull back and we go through the whole cycle again. What do I do to maintain NC? I can't change my number at this point. I am in the process of changing careers and I can't take the chance of my number not being with the proper contacts. A number mix up could totally destroy this whole thing. I don't carry a cell, I only have a landline. I have considered a block number function on my phone, but my understanding is that it can only block local numbers. I don't think it applies to cell phones. Which he has. I can't take my phone off of the hook due to the career issue. What do I do? Telling him no contact doesn't work either. I don't know how to get out of this. I need some ideas.
AriaIncognito Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 I guess your only option at this point is caller id and/or letting the machine always get it. I would assume he'd eventually be tired of talking to your machine and get the hint, but I guess I shouldn't assume that.
tinke Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 is he calling for a specific reason? does he need a form of closure, discussion? if so, i would grant him the opportunity 1x to speak whatever is on his mind..allow him the appropriate time to do so. then you can again tell him you will not respond to any future calls.
Author child_of_isis Posted September 30, 2007 Author Posted September 30, 2007 His whole point of calling seems to be to get me back in the cycle. To keep an emotional attachment with me. Or to keep me emotionally attached to him. This is/was a 13 year relationship. He has went as far as calling everyday, several times a day for up to a month. The more I refuse to answer, the more he will call. Then he will start calling my mother in the same way. The more I pull away, the more he comes after me. As soon as he gets me back in his grasp, (emotionally) then he starts pulling away from me....like he doesn't want me in his life. Until I stop answering the phone again. This has been going on for about 4 months and I don't want to do it anymore. I didn't mind doing it for the first couple of times due to the possibility of maybe the relationship being saved. 13 years is a pretty big investment.
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