me

[Brooks06]

So my girlfriend and I of three years broke up earlier this week. She came over and everything was progressing as usual when out of nowhere we got into a small argument about communicating and talking more. She told me she really has nothing to say to me...out of shock I asked her what was wrong, why she would say that. She told me she was so overwhelmed and so busy and that she wasnt sure what she wanted out of life or if she even loved me. I was so shocked and hurt that I just walked out of the room and started pacing around the house. I finally gathered some composure and walked back into the room and told her she didnt mean it and that I know we are meant to be together and that I love her so much. She got up and said sorry and tried to leave. I begged her to stay and just explain to me what happened. We went into the backyard and started talking. I grabbed her hands and just told her "dont do this, this is such a mistake....i love you, how is this happening." she started crying and kept saying sorry sorry i just dont know anymore. I was so scared and shocked...she took a seat on a bench in my backyard and just cried and wouldnt make eye contact with me. I tried to sit next to her on the bench but because I was so shocked I completely missed the seat and just landed flat on my ass and knocked over a flower pot and ended up covered in dirt. She started laughing and crying at the same time but I just broke down for some reason. I mean I absolutely lost it. I just sat there in the mud with my head rested on my knees and just cried for the first time in years. When she realized I was crying and not laughing she got up and said she had to go and went inside and grabbed her stuff. I ran inside after her and begged her to stay and just to tell me what her plan was. I mean the whole situation was so dramatic, but kind of humorous at the same time. When she was walking out of the front door my dog jumped at her and bit down on her bag and just wouldnt let go. When she finally got the dog off the bag it grabbed onto her dress and started pulling on it. She finally got loose and walked out the door leaving me confused and hurt. I ran to the after her and yelled "is this is last time you are going to walk through this door? just tell me that for my own sanity, is this the last time you will walk through this door?" she said she didnt know and sped away. Well thank god my phone died because I would have called her so many times that night. Instead, I waited for 48 hours before I tried making contact. Her mom had called my mom to make sure everything was okay with me and then I talked to her mom today for a long time about it. After that conversation I couldnt resist and tried calling my girlfriend and left her a voicemail saying "maybe a break is what we need. I am doing okay and just want to know that you are doing well"...Well now the pressure is building because she still hasnt called me back so I sent a text telling her to please call...My mom and sister told me just dont contact her at all, make her realize her mistake, but I am in love with this girl, she is my best friend, and we have known each other for so long...I just cant stop myself from wanting to call her. What should I do? I am just so confused here. I dont know if we are taking a break or if she is moving on or what. Her friend told me the next day at school (she is a senior in highschool, im a freshmen in college) that all day at school it seemed like she was trying to get attention from it but that when she finally talked to her about it she just said how much she loved me and that it wasnt over with forever. My brother, out of concern for me, asked her what happened and she told him it was a long story but it was just a break for awhile...Part of me wants to believe that we will get back together, but I mean she has already completely removed me from her facebook and hasnt contacted me at all. I just need advice about what I should do. I want to end up with her and I know that I am supposed to, but I dont want to sit around and wait either. SHe hurt me so bad and now I am so numb that I just dont feel anything really. I need any advice at all. I know she is extremely busy with other aspects of her life and has been really stressed out and Im sure I only added to that, but I mean thats a big step to just toss me to the side after three years of being absolutely in love and never fighting. Just say anything you want and hopefully it will be helpful. And another thing, I know she didnt come to my house that night to break up with me. Two hours before we broke up she kept telling me that she loved me and that she couldnt wait to be my wife one day...I know I can put pressure on her sometimes, but this just isnt making any sense. Should I call or just cut off all contact with her until she calls? Should I go and date other people? I mean even if this is just a break I know it will be a very long one.

THanks alot for any help

[Curious139]

Oh dear I feel your pain. There isn't a lot you can do right now. Women usually take a while to decide to leave so they mean it when they go.

 

The purpose of No Contact is esentially to allow you to heal. You need support from friends and family. The danger of contact is that you'll go back to day 1 of the breakup - believe me I know.

 

NC can also heal a relationship once in a while - but that is secondary and you must not think of that. If it happens it happens.

 

Finally, please use paragraphs - a lot of people will simply not read a solid block of text.

 

Hope this helps.