carolinaboy Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 what would be the guidelines to set? she's dating our old roommate now and I have never liked the guy. living with him means i know everything about him. the thought of them together makes me cringe. i know i'm not completely over her yet, but i feel that half of that is not knowing what she's up to and wondering. she's called 5 times randomly to ask if we could hang out. i'm confused and messed up about how she seems to have completely healed/moved on in 2 mos time after being together for 2 1/2 years and I'm still not making the progress I'd like with new people. so i want to be an adult and be her friend, but i don't want to hear anything about this guy and her. the reason i couldnt see myself being her friend is cos if I called her up and asked what she was doing and he came up, i would just get really upset. i feel thats friendship under false pretenses, excluding reality (this new guy) from our conversations. she is being persistent about this. all the people on this site say give it time, half say no contact and the other half say grow up and be her friend. THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR INSIGHTS......
alwayshurt Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 if you still have feeling for this girl, explain to me how you can be friend to her. How will you feel when her relationship with the new guy comes up in conversation (it will happen, trust me)? Unless it is an excuse she's pulling to get you back. It is a possibility! It's very rare that a woman hangs with his ex once the relationship is over, especially if she thinks he still have feeling for her. But you know this girl better so you may know what she is really trying to do.
Curious139 Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 Realistically while you still have feelings for her, being friends on a platonic basis isn't possible. Your love will overshadow everything and she will sense it. She probably still has affection and a warm regard for you. Perhaps you should meet and tell her that you'd like to be friends but it is too painful at the moment. Tell her to give you a few months unless she discloses there is something she wants to talk about. She might be having a change of heart - but please protect yourself from hoping. We all do but it seldom happens. Good luck.
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