Moongoddess Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 Hi all, I have a really long story, I will try and keep it short! Thanks for your thoughts.... Here it goes, About 7 years ago I met my (x best frnd) R. We were very close, we hung out everyday, talked on the phone etc. We ended up going to different unis but remained very close. Her parents thought of me as their 3rd daughter. About 3 yrs into our relationship I started to like her cousin N, we hung out a few times as a group. So I told R how I felt about N and she was exicted and told me to date him etc. But, I went away for 3 wks and when i came back i found out N liked another girl. N and I were not dating, we were going to date when i came back. SO, when i came back i did not want to start a relationship with him b/c i thought he was dating other girls, and back then i was innocent. 4 years later....I avoided N as much as possible b/c I still liked him and thought he was very attractive. We just had a lot of physical chemistry. Anyways R and I went to N's party and that's when i saw him again after a long time, I developed feelings for him again. So, a few days passed, and N noticed that I was giving him "weird" looks....So he talked to R and their other cousins about it. He basically thought i was holding a grudge against him for what happend yrs ago. SO, i got his number from R called him and said no hard feelings, lets hang sometime. Then the next day he called me to hang out with him. SO, we hung out for 3 days, he came over, stayed late...and i never mentioned to R that things were progressing with him. I did say he was coming over and that we had hung out. But, i didn;t ask her how she felt about it, nor did i tell her how i felt about him. .....the 'night'....she found out from her cousin that N and I are "seeing each other", she called me and i lied about him being over. I guess i was scared?? not sure why i lied about it really. She was mad, obviously felt betrayed. One month passed....she is still mad, i emailed her, phoned her etc, nothing worked. At the same time N and i are still tog. getting serious. one year passes, (lots of ups and downs inbetween) she says i betrayed her and her family...N ended up having an emotional affair that i found out about, so i told R, i guess i needed that frndship...but, in the end I forgave N, but, R was MAD. she felt like i chose him over her again....she does not like him. thinks he is scum and that he doesn't respect me. 5 months pass....we are bascially done. we have met up a few times, she is still upset that i am with him. a lot of other things have happened. i wrote down how i felt and told her we can survive this tog. she doesn;t think so. I guess I just need to know do I stop now? I feel so guilty for what i have done...but, at the same time if she was my bff and sister, wouldnt she stay with me thru thick and thin even if she was being hurt?? i promised her i wouldn;t lie to her again, and that it really takes baby steps to get thru this. She just can't see past the pain i have caused, and she just hates him and his family so much. I guess i just need to stop caring, and i need to try and forget everything so the guilt will pass. thanks
Magnatolia Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 So why did you lie to her in the first place? She was the one that told you to date him. Seems like she's upset because you're with a guy who she doesn't feel that you deserve.
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