a4a Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Lyssa, I can handle it just fine... I am not valuing myself on some easy, loony chick off the internet. Wondering why someone acts a certain way, doesn't mean "I cant handle it" Although it seems you would find more joy if I was devastated.. And these women do seem childish..."I wanted sex with you, you had sex with me, so now I am creeped out and want to win a game!" "look I ran away quickly! I win" The other poster was right, leave sex to adults who can handle it.. ehhh...... your just as easy and just - if not more loony- for inviting a person off the internet into your home. :lmao:
serial muse Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Yes, that is messed up in the head, lol. She emailed me, flirted with me sexually online, wanted to come over at midnight, was all over me, and I am "insulting her intelligence" by "coming on to her", so she is "winning a game". Are all women that crazy? or just a few? And.... Men do it for the enjoyment.. Not because they were hurt, playing a game, being evil. Wow. Okay, I get that you're hurt and disappointed, but seriously, step back and get a little perspective. This is one woman, and if you'll try to remember your interactions with her and not be swayed by others' speculations, you'll recall that SHE didn't say she was playing a game or trying to hurt anyone or trying to be evil :rolleyes::rolleyes:, she pretty much said she DID IT FOR THE ENJOYMENT. Others on here have SPECULATED about what might be going on in her head, but the fact is, THIS woman TOLD you. She SAID she was just having a good time and wanted to leave it that way, and doesn't want more from you. Dude, that's it. For your own peace of mind and for closure, I suggest you listen to what she's actually saying, not to what you want to project onto her because you feel pissed off. And basically, what she's saying is that she's just not that into you. Not enough to want to have sex again. Tough to hear, I know. But taking a big fat flying leap from her email into crazy theories about how "women" do hurtful things intentionally to be evil when men can't help themselves and only do them because of biology - ugh, wait a second... :rolleyes::rolleyes: !!!!! ...is NOT making you look good. Grow up. Fact is, you wanted something she didn't. That happens all the time. I'm sorry for your pain, but try to chill out and just accept it for what it is. Yes, this happens to women all the time, and they feel like men are evil, and then we start the whole cycle all over again. Perspective. One woman unintentionally caused hurt to one man because he wanted more than she did. She sent a dumb email and then had to explain herself, awkwardly, and ended up confusing him a lot because he's pretty sure that "women don't do this sort of thing." Except that sometimes, they do. And they aren't any more or less crazy or messed up than the guys who do the same exact thing. That's all this is. Move on.
Road Rage Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I mean, this really makes me feel bad. Imagine women out there throwing themselves around having random sex. Meeting guys off the internet for wild, steamy, uninhibited sex!!! And I`v missed it all:p You just can`t imagine how bad I feel. Totally miscalculated the whole thing. But, Maybe it`s not too late for me to get in on some of this wild monkey sex:o I just didn`t know women were like this and all this time I have thought in terms of relationships. Thank ya ladies for letting me know. All this time I`ve been wasting on LS trying to learn about relationships sigh!!! It appears that a guy just has to be visible and when the lady is gonna do it, she`s gonna do it:love: Sheeesh!!! It`s tough sitting here realizing all I have missed:confused:
Lyssa Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 what is the big deal? So a woman decides she wants to have sex with a guy and then says she is not looking for marriage or kids with him.... whippity****s. Many times I have not wanted to be tied down to a relationship but for cripes sake that doesn't mean I don't want to have sex. And the OP is just as big of a slut cuz he took off his pants too. A woman can want and desire sex simply for the pleasure of sex - not for revenge on the male race. Not every piece of ass is about marriage potential to a woman. Another thing to consider - perhaps the sex was not that good for her, I didn't see anything mentioned about how great the actual sex was. Thanks, a4a. You wrote it clearly!
crazy_grl Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 So yes, women who TRY to have sex like men are messed up. Some don't have to try. Believe it or not, but some women do like sex for sex and not because they're trying to get back at someone, playing a game, or whatever you think. I think it's more messed up invite someone over at midnight, then screw them when it's the first time you've met and expect it to turn into a real relationship. That might happen sometimes, but most people have figured out that a person who has sex on the first night is usually just looking for a ONS or a booty call at best. If you have sex early with a girl, view her solely as a sex object, and don't have any interest. That way, if she is loony, you won't waste any time thinking of her. My mistake was taking sex too seriously.. Thanks ladies, i'll keep that in mind. No, your mistake was insulting her and judging her for something which you've probably done yourself, based on the fact that you're a guy combined with statements you've made. Like CaliGuy said, now you know how women feel. Get over it. Women do. At least she had the courtesy to respond to your email. If the genders were reversed, I doubt you'd have even gotten that.
Green Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I dont agree that you lost value, every pasionate relationship I had started pasionatly. Some women have sex and then get buyers remorse, never happened to me but it can happen. And it doesnt necisarily mean anyhing about you or women as a gender so just forget it and move on
marlena Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 A woman can want and desire sex simply for the pleasure of sex - not for revenge on the male race. Not every piece of ass is about marriage potential to a woman. About time men realized this!!!
stillafool Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Men have a biological urge to have sex with random women. This is genetic. Women do not have this urge to sleep with strangers. Thats why prostitution is thriving and the worlds oldest profession. Men suppress this urge everyday in our current society. Well, that's the hidden secret sir. Most women have the same desires as men. I just wanted to see her again for more sex. Not sure why she is talking about a long term relationship..? I don't even know her.. She was just telling you that most men like her so much they want to tie her down. Apparently you liked her too. So yes, women who TRY to have sex like men are messed up. No aren't trying to have sex like men but they are having sex the way they want it. They aren't messed up it's just a new world. I wouldn't email her back if I were you. I don't think she expects that or wants it.
Author northernman Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 I am thinking the one poster was correct. Perhaps she was not as into me as she portrayed herself to be. Being a guy, you wonder about how women view sex, but the reality is, many view it differently. I also have had great long term relationships that started off very sexually right away. Some of these women did feel odd for having sex so quickly, and told me. The other posters are also correct.Women are extremely easy these days. There really isn't much of a reason to keep just one, and I think guys should enjoy sampling all they can while single.
Trialbyfire Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 That's quite the attitude for a one night stand. What happens when a long-term relationship or marriage of 5+ years breaks up? Frightening thought...
Newbie2Love Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Gee thanks u helped me a lot, I'm a shy guy, now I know what not to do, ha ha
Timberlane Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Not sure who you're asking but assuming you're asking me - I never thought about cause I don't use people for sex or anything at all. I mean the collective "You" not you specifically. I don't know anything about you. I should have said "How does it affect one?" It's an f-ed up, cynical way to live.
Timberlane Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 My thinking was, if they want to play this game, I'll play... but I'll play better. I'll win. I know that's not a healthy way to treat people, and it's a very self-destructive way to live, but the periods when I did this were just after I'd been severely hurt by someone I'd grudgingly allowed myself to love and trust. Life's a bitch. If I were you I'd move on. You did it for extensive periods? Niiiiiice. Glad I've never met anyone like that. So will someone deserve this in the future? Give it up. Really, cynical stuff like this is like cancer.
Author northernman Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 It is quite scary that women like spookie are out there. Never in my life have I been dumped, then viewed a woman as a"game", and I need to win and hurt them. Actually, I never intentionally hurt any woman in my life. Thats pretty f'd up.. I feel sorry for you, you must carry around a lot of pain. After re-reading our im chat prior to meeting, she did mention she "might disappear", after we become intimate. After re reading it I found that the "I might disappear" now made sense, when in the original conversation I glanced over it. All in all, I wasn't expecting to meet anyone. I rarely receive emails from women I don't know, and was ready for bed. I did have a good time, and I am over it. I do hope the majority of women are not like this. Yes, I had sex too, but I was willing to follow through with moire. She wasn't, and I think she decided that before she met me.
Timberlane Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I love the whole "Some man hurt me, now I hurt them." rationalization. Someone stole my car radio years ago. Am I free to help myself from some random car?
stillafool Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I am thinking the one poster was correct. Perhaps she was not as into me as she portrayed herself to be. Northernman at least she was honest in what she wanted. She did say "I might dissappear". I certainly don't think she had a lack of respect for you. The other posters are also correct.Women are extremely easy these days. There really isn't much of a reason to keep just one, and I think guys should enjoy sampling all they can while single. If you really feel this way then that girl acted in a way you desire a woman to. It makes the sampling so much easier. Spookie's behavior toward men was out of pain and she admits it and that it was self-destructive. Men hurt women also because someone else has hurt them. I don't think your lady was trying to hurt you but was just trying to please herself.
Kamille Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Someone posted "men always do this, why cant women" Men have a biological urge to have sex with random women. This is genetic. Women do not have this urge to sleep with strangers. Thats why prostitution is thriving and the worlds oldest profession. Men suppress this urge everyday in our current society. I just wanted to see her again for more sex. Not sure why she is talking about a long term relationship..? I don't even know her.. So yes, women who TRY to have sex like men are messed up. This thread is hilarious. Newsflash: women do have biological urges. We are just trained from childhood to control them, while men are told from childhood that they have no control over their sexuality. Yes Northern man, as scary as it may seem, women do feel the urge to sleep with stangers, fantasize about it and sometimes act on it. It doesn't make them biologically or even socially deficient individuals. And I fully agree with Serial Muse. What your conquest told you is pretty clear: she had fun, she enjoyed it. The subsequent psychological analysis of her behavior as somehow 'unwomanly', or unhealthy do not make her unhealthy or any less of a woman. In fact, I found her voice to be quite rational and healthy in her message. She is a human who knows where she's at, what she is looking for and who is not afraid to go get it.
uniqueone Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 The other posters are also correct.Women are extremely easy these days. There really isn't much of a reason to keep just one, and I think guys should enjoy sampling all they can while single. Ugh....had you said enjoy "dating" all they can, that would be fine....but "sampling"? Nobody "samples" me. I'm not an hor'dourve. This statement just makes me cringe.
Lizzie60 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Ugh....had you said enjoy "dating" all they can, that would be fine....but "sampling"? Nobody "samples" me. I'm not an hor'dourve. This statement just makes me cringe. It's 'hors d'oeuvre' .... LOL Hors d'oeuvre that makes me think of a French word.. humm wonder which one? (I heard that on the radio this week LOL) 'Dating all they can while single' Sampling???? Single women can date all they can too... Double standard makes me cringe...
Kamille Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Single women can date all they can too... Double standard makes me cringe... No kidding. But I guess that according to some women are still the gardians of all that is good in pure in this world. I love the prescriptive tone in this thread: 'Normal women don't do this or that...". All that because one person wasn't on the same page as another as to what was going on after a sexual encounter.
stillafool Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Someone posted "men always do this, why cant women" Men have a biological urge to have sex with random women. This is genetic. Women do not have this urge to sleep with strangers. Thats why prostitution is thriving and the worlds oldest profession. Men suppress this urge everyday in our current society. After my cousin's husband died she called male escort services for sex. She is a very attractive woman and can get sex for free if she wanted it. When I asked her why she said "Because I don't even want to know their names, I just want the sex. It's too stressful to talk."
uniqueone Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Someone posted "men always do this, why cant women" Men have a biological urge to have sex with random women. This is genetic. Women do not have this urge to sleep with strangers. Thats why prostitution is thriving and the worlds oldest profession. Men suppress this urge everyday in our current society. Says who? You're saying that we're animals....but animals don't have feelings like we do. The female goose isn't crying because her mate is off mating with another goose. This is what makes us different from animals. So how can you draw the parallel that we're exactly like animals? I just wanted to see her again for more sex. Not sure why she is talking about a long term relationship..? I don't even know her.. I thought you said you wanted more than that? So yes, women who TRY to have sex like men are messed up. Personally I think both are messed up because it involves a great deal of detachment --one which I don't find very attractive in either sex.
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 You gave way too much of yourself way to soon and showed yourself to have no value as far as she's concerned. I wholeheartedly agree. You didn’t establish any “value” in yourself as a desirable individual or potential long-term relationship partner. Whether you’re male or female, it all works the same. It’s uncomfortable to acknowledge or even admit (especially to ourselves), but there’s just no getting around it. People just don’t appreciate anyone (or anything) that comes without any effort or is too easily had. It loses it’s luster and appeal. Quick! This gal is re-establishing her “value” as an individual by remaining elusive. Perhaps as a means of recovering from her own lapse in judgement. And it’s absolutely working ... which is why you find yourself “valuing” her more after her absence than you did during the entire time you spent together. If she had called you the very next day ... and turned into some obsessive, clingy, Velcro-Woman you would have ran for the hills after the first few booty calls got stale. No mystery left. The same goes for the flip side. If you turn into some needy stalker, you’ll only further depreciate your worth as an individual in her eyes. Take a cue from this gal, and learn first-person what works and doesn’t work when it comes to the laws of attraction. Continue to pursue a woman ONLY if she reciprocates .... and if you give a female all the time and room she needs to do just that, then it’s more than likely she will. Women are more intrigued by “high value” males who present a bit of a challenge, too. While men are labeled the pursuers, it’s the female who ultimately chooses her lover and sets the pace for the relationship. And you’ve gotta have something going for you that all the other horny blokes trying to get in her pants don’t have. Especially confidence and the appearance of dignity, pride and self-worth ... even if you’re feeling rejected and have to fake it. Works the same, no matter what gender you are or what particular stage you’re at in your relationship.
Author northernman Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 Engima, great post.. I did let her know I would like to see her again. I do not know, but I am thinking that is normal, to say one time. I did not call or bother her incessantly. Being a guy, I do like to let someone know if I am interested. Did I lose value by doing that? Should I have never contacted her? Not just her, but I mean in the future if it happens again, lol. Oh well, I was glad to have met her, and can say I harbor no bad feelings. And it seems the women in this thread are bragging about their new sexuality. So, I also suggested men should sample all they can. Seems fair to me..
Timberlane Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 The subsequent psychological analysis of her behavior as somehow 'unwomanly', or unhealthy do not make her unhealthy or any less of a woman. In fact, I found her voice to be quite rational and healthy in her message. She is a human who knows where she's at, what she is looking for and who is not afraid to go get it. You must be a big Ayn Rand fan.
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