Does sex mean much to women these days?

[northernman]

Ok, I was on an online dating site. I posted threads in a forum. A girl nearby emailed me, loving what I wrote. We chatted via IM, and seemed to want the same things. I am 32, she is 28. She told me she always wanted to email me, but was too shy.

 

We were both alone, and I suggested since it is late, and we would like to meet, she can come over and watch a movie. She wanted to, and she did.

 

I saw her, and thought she was gorgeous. Within a half hour, we are kissing, hugging, touching, and move to the bedroom. We had lots of great sex. She informed me that she had to take her sister to the airport in the am, so she had to leave and do that, and couldn't spend the night.

 

I walked her out to her car, kissed her goodbye. I texted her on the way home saying I was glad to meet her, had a great time. Now here was her reply..

 

"Thanks for a memorable time.. I wont ever forget it"

 

IMHO, thats sounds as if she is saying she wont see me again, but will remember what we did?

 

So, I texted her today, saying hello, how are you, would like to see you again, and received no reply.

 

I am thinking she has a boyfriend, wasn't into me, or feels like we never could have a relationship after a start like that? I have no idea.

 

She seemed VERY into me, but now ignored me. Obviously, I wont keep trying to contact her, I just wanted to let her know I was interested. Has this happened to any other men? Women, have you done this to a man? What does her text reply sound like it means to you?

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

A woman that does that will be creeped out by you afterwards and see you like a piece of meat.

 

You lost value, unless you were really smooth and had some personality in the fact.

 

Most likely you just were hormone ridden and are very unappealing right now as a potential mate.

 

Ariadne

[Tony T]

Women can use men just like men use women. If your post had been written by a female with everything switched gender-wize it would be absolutely ordinary.

 

You gave way too much of yourself way to soon and showed yourself to have no value as far as she's concerned. She sees you as a guy who screws every girl he meets and most likely feels you invite some lady from the Internet to your place a number of times a week and make just the same kind of play for her...with all the same endearments.

 

It's sad because you were very sincere...but you still did the wrong thing by taking this too fast. If you meet a lady you want to have a long term relationship with, DO NOT GO FOR HER GOODS WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HER. Hell, you were in the sack just hours after you met. A woman of decency can get her rocks off on that, sure, but will seldom consider that the sort of man she wants to date. This is an individual things with every woman.

 

So sorry this happened but you're lucky. You did get some sex out of it. Many aggressive men walk away with a simple bruised ego and nothing carved on their belt to show for it.

 

Then again, she could be doing this with every guy she meets on the Internet. So she's too shy to email you but not to shy to bang your brains out shortly after she goes to your place for a first meeting....wow, only on Planet Earth!!!

[northernman]

If I have sex with a woman she will be creeped out by me? It has been my experience women are usually picky with whom they have sex. Thats how women think? Why did she want to have sex then? It was my fault? lol

 

I have met women, we had sex early, and we dated for years...

 

Maybe you are right, I have no idea. If you are right, what is your suggestion?

[northernman]

Well, I suppose I don't understand the game. If 2 people meet, are attracted, are single adults, are lonely, seem to have things in common, I should tell her no sex? To me, that seems to convey I am not attracted to her, physically.

 

I guess since I did it, and view her as a more than willing participant,if not the aggressor, we would view each other as normal adults, with normal needs. I don't understand the hang up everyone has with sex..

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

If I have sex with a woman she will be creeped out by me? It has been my experience women are usually picky with whom they have sex. Thats how women think? Why did she want to have sex then? It was my fault? lol

 

You were like the barbell-head of sex, sort of. Like Beavis and Butthead getting laid. Very unappealing.

 

It's fun for women sometimes to get guys to lose their minds like that, but you like men to be in control, not hormone ridden.

 

Maybe you are right, I have no idea. If you are right, what is your suggestion?

 

Well, if you are going to have sex early, be in charge of the situation (not lose your mind). Then you might have a chance.

 

Ariadne

[Tony T]

If I have sex with a woman she will be creeped out by me? It has been my experience women are usually picky with whom they have sex. Thats how women think? Why did she want to have sex then? It was my fault? lol

 

I have met women, we had sex early, and we dated for years...

 

Maybe you are right, I have no idea. If you are right, what is your suggestion?

 

My suggestion is that you go out with a lady a few times, enjoy her company and conversation, before you invite her to your home for an evening of passionate sex. Let there be a little courting involved. They truly like this...ask around!

 

You seem to be really caught up with sex. Therefore, it would be to your advantage to run into many ladies like the one you described above. Just don't expect them to run back to you each night for servicing.

 

There is nothing wrong with sex...but unless you start seeing woman as more than just objects in which to insert your penis you will not get a lot of return traffic and you will not meet quality women who will want to get to know other parts of your body more as well.

 

You really don't get this, do you? Wow, find a nice lady friend and get her to help fill in the details for you.

[kymberann]

I beg to differ with some of the replies Northern. I think it was admirable of you that you texted rather than do nothing at all. For me it would have made me felt trashier about the situation after wards had I not heard anything. Even if it was a one night stand thing. Whether she replied or not that's a different situation and it is too early in the game to make any judgement call as to why she has not texted back. So don't read in to it just yet.

 

You say you met her on a dating forum, well she will be around and if she is interested she'll get back to you. THen you will have your answer.

Best

[northernman]

Adriane,

 

I suppose I view myself as a man. If a hot girl is in my home, and I am interested in her, I will have sex with her, especially if she is actually the aggressor. How is that very unappealing? She would be more interested in me if I just sat next to her and watched a movie then walked her outside? I am thinking that would make me a shy wuss of sorts. I have sunk into friend mode in the past like that before. I lost my mind by having sex?

 

I didnt think she drive over at midnight on a friday night, come to my home, to watch tv. We both talked about missing intimacy in our lives, hugging, kissing etc.

 

If I will have sex early , be in control, but dont lose my mind? How did I lose my mind? By telling her I enjoyed her company? I didn't profess love or call her 500 times..

 

Ok, so at this point is it over in your opinions? Anything else I can say to her?

 

Hey,

 

If I have sex with a woman she will be creeped out by me? It has been my experience women are usually picky with whom they have sex. Thats how women think? Why did she want to have sex then? It was my fault? lol

 

You were like the barbell-head of sex, sort of. Like Beavis and Butthead getting laid. Very unappealing.

 

It's fun for women sometimes to get guys to lose their minds like that, but you like men to be in control, not hormone ridden.

 

Maybe you are right, I have no idea. If you are right, what is your suggestion?

 

Well, if you are going to have sex early, be in charge of the situation (not lose your mind). Then you might have a chance.

 

Ariadne

[Road Rage]

northernman

 

I think you did what most men would do. The sex had more to do with her than you.

 

She is the one to have the quicky sex and then walk away. Some people are dysfunctional and can`t be fixed. She may be one of them.

 

You never know. She could be married or anything else. Something just doesn`t seem right for a very attractrive woman to take that kind of risk but currently they are doing it in droves every day.

 

It is only a matter of time before the next Ted Bundy shows up.

[northernman]

I was starting to question myself, but your post has made a lot of sense.

 

She is 28 years old. I didn't beg her to come over, I invited her once. I didn't beg her to sit on my lap and start kissing me, she did that willingly. I didn't beg her to take her clothes off, she pulled them off herself.

 

I am just guessing that if you have sex, and are single, usually you would want to keep having sex with the same person, especially if you are a woman. This is leading me to believe she has a boyfriend, or is married.

 

I doubt she will contact me, but i will wait it out and see. After a day or 2 I am sure I won't want to be with someone who plays a game like that anyway.

 

She also started talking flirtatiously on the internet. When I replied, she asked if I am "all talk". Thats when I invited her over, thinking she was just kidding around, but she actually came.

 

If a woman is 28,wants sex, drives over at midnight, is the aggressor, has sex, and then is some how turned off by me for having sex with her,and finds me very unappealing, then she has some major issues I can't fix.

[Ariadne]

Well,

 

Not sure how else to explain this.

 

If you were somewhat in charge and had some personality you might still have a chance.

 

(In control is, dominating the situation not letting her run the show, chunk of meat type)

 

Ok, so at this point is it over in your opinions? Anything else I can say to her?

 

Inviter her back to your place. See if she bids, and then make her do everything you want to you.

 

Ariadne

[halfarock]

This kind of reminds me of an experience of mine. I met this woman and in the course of our conversation she mentioned that she had been recently divorced and hadn’t had sex in more than a year. She went on to say that she had gone on a few dates with men but didn’t like the way they kissed so she never let it go any farther than that.

 

As we talked it became evident that she was expecting me to kiss her which I did - eventually. When I did, it was like a switch was flipped and she was all over me. Apparently she liked my kiss. Immediately she wanted me to take her back to her place. On the way I picked up a bottle of wine. We drank it and had some pretty wild sex.

 

The next morning she was depressed telling me that this is what she wanted but after having it realized that she wasn’t ready for it. That she wasn’t over her divorce, and needed to get her head together before she gets involved with a man again.

 

Still, by your post, it seems as if the woman just wanted to have no strings attached sex. Also it could be that she is busy visiting with her sister. After all, it’s only been a day, right.

 

I see posts here all the time where someone is worrying that another may not like them because it’s been a day or two and the other hasn’t returned their call. Maybe people are just too impatient these days. If you’re worrying after a day you are being too needy.

[northernman]

Well its possible..

 

However, if I meet someone I like, and have passionate sex with them, how can I not think of them? It isn't a daily occurrence for me. Should I act like it is? Really, I just wanted to convey to her that I was interested, without sounding needy. I sent her one text message.

 

I have slept with girls I really didn't like at all, but always responded. I never completely ignored anyone in my life that I even went on a date with if they contacted me.

 

Nobody is too busy to return a text message. So I wonder how can a woman be all over a guy, actually mention things about me she "loves", and then ignore him. Or just respond to him by saying "Thanks for a memorable night! I wont ever forget it!" Does that send a conflicting message or what?

[halfarock]

It still sounds to me like she just wanted no-strings attached sex. There are women out there like that. Or, maybe something happened, like she got in a car crash or something, you never know.

[Road Rage]

I think there is a good chance she is married.

[glittergurl]

She's obviously a slut. Sorry.

It's probably better if you two don't stay in touch anyway. I've never heard of this type of scenario turning into a wonderful long lasting relationship. And I agree with whoever said that by giving into her so easily, you also ruined any chance you might have had with her. You gave in right away; easy men are are not attractive and it makes them come across as guys who would sleep just as easily with any other stranger who might come along. And who would seriously want to be with a man like that?

[Road Rage]

But evenso....maybe it`s time for me to pay a little closer attention to the whole online thing:lmao:

[maynard]

give me a freaking break to those who think the original poster did something wrong in this scenario

 

its clear this woman had no interest in anything but sex. the night would have played out in one of two ways: either they had sex and she doesnt talk to him again or he rejects her advances and she doesnt talk to him again

 

he is unattractive because he gave in to sex and this is some general rule? i guess 99.999% of men are unattractive.

 

a man who invites an online acquaintance to his house at midnight is not someone who will turn down sex. she knew this too. this wasnt some causal date in a public place

 

the only thing to be learned is that the girl is a slut. this was a casual encounter that never had a chance of being anything more. his choice was to oblige or not. the end result would have been the same

[marlena]

I guess since I did it, and view her as a more than willing participant,if not the aggressor, we would view each other as normal adults, with normal needs.

 

From where I see it, there was no aggressor or aggresee. You were two adults who consented to have sex right away. I see nothing wrong with this. You did nothing wrong. She was a big girl. She could have declined. If she had wanted something more serious, she could have said so.

 

Yes, that message does sound like a brush off. I don't expect you'll be hearing from her anytime soon. Obviously, she doesn't want to take things further than a one night stand for reasons known only to herself. She may have a boyfriend, she may be married or she may simply not want to continue seeing you. You shouldn't take it is a reflection of your worth.

 

Accept it for what it is and forget about it. These things happen especially with Internet dating.

[marlena]

She is the one to have the quicky sex and then walk away. Some people are dysfunctional and can`t be fixed. She may be one of them.

 

 

Isn't this a bit too extreme? Simply because you choose to have a one night stand does not make you dysfunctional or so I believe.

[ICallsEmAsISeesEm]

I'm with Glitter Girl - this girl is a slut.

 

What woman with ANY self respect goes to a guy's house at night - after chatting online for a little while - and has sex with him?

 

I think you're biggest concern right now should be STD testing. Sounds like she's pretty 'free' with herself.

[Road Rage]

marlena

 

yes, the way I put it makes it sound like she is dysfunctional for having sex. That is not exactly what I`m trying to say. It is more like there is no way to know for certain someone you just meet is even sane.

 

My thoughts are always jumbled:confused: I mentioned Ted Bundy in a broad sense to bring into focus what I`m trying to say. First impressions can be very wrong and mask true intent.

 

Northernman did not have any reference on this woman. Things went fast and he thought she maybe was in the same mindset as himself. But, this woman might be crazy. Next week the headline might read. Unsuspecting Men being Infected With HIV By Malicious Woman. With a story about a vengeful woman being arrested for intentionally infecting her partners.

 

You just don`t know:eek:

 

Now up on my pedestal I go:laugh: Calling this woman a slut is not right. You cannot label her and not label the man the same. It takes two to tango. This is plain old male show-van-ism. Sorry, didn`t know how to spell that one and ain`t gonna look it up:D

[northernman]

I find your assumptions to make the most sex..

 

I cant believe that I am suddenly unappealing for having sex with a hot woman that comes over at midnight for sex. Or I did something extremely wrong, and she wanted a LTR, but I was too much of a man and too eager, which repulsed her.

 

It is clear she came over "for sex". I don't think if I did not touch her, I would have won her heart somehow.

 

I had sex quickly with women, and dated them long term. For me, timing is important. If sex happens it doesn't make me think immediately they are some bad person. It takes 2.

 

I think she just lied to me about what she really wanted, and most likely withheld the fact that maybe she is in a relationship.

 

If she doesn't do that often, and I somehow "repulsed" her by having sex, she has a lot of sexual hang ups, and is odd to be turned off by a man that has sex with her.. last time I checked, I am a man, not a tease..

 

 

 

 

give me a freaking break to those who think the original poster did something wrong in this scenario

 

its clear this woman had no interest in anything but sex. the night would have played out in one of two ways: either they had sex and she doesnt talk to him again or he rejects her advances and she doesnt talk to him again

 

he is unattractive because he gave in to sex and this is some general rule? i guess 99.999% of men are unattractive.

 

a man who invites an online acquaintance to his house at midnight is not someone who will turn down sex. she knew this too. this wasnt some causal date in a public place

 

the only thing to be learned is that the girl is a slut. this was a casual encounter that never had a chance of being anything more. his choice was to oblige or not. the end result would have been the same

[Trialbyfire]

She's probably not in the head space to want anything beyond a quick tumble. Her text was pretty final. Thanks for the memories.

 

If she changes her mind in the future, she knows where to find you. For the immediate time, I wouldn't stress about her reasoning. If this isn't the type of interaction you want with a woman, avoid one night stands in the future.