Float Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 "I've seen a lot of women/but she never left my mind, like a bird that flew/tangled up in blue." So yeah, hello. I'm in a semi-complex situation that I've never been in before, and I have a pretty healthy grasp on it, but I'm looking for any outside opinion, etc. to sort of help me on the way. Here is the basic situation: A little over a year ago, I met a girl who I went to high school with. I was a junior and she was a sophomore. I wouldn't say I became all that close with her, but there was a definite mutual attraction there that was basically silent yet acknowledged. Unfortunately, the timing and environment was not right and I did not go for it. Time passed, I met other girls and got involved in a semi-serious relationship. Over this relationship, things were good. The sex was good, it was casual yet caring, it was essentially perfect. Yet, something wasn't quite right, and I couldn't figure it out. The relationship soured, and we went our separate ways. I started thinking about the way things were, the way I felt about certain things, etc. and one day I sort of had a revelation: I was in love with the girl I mentioned before. I don't know how that sort of thing could go unnoticed, but I'm stubborn and apparently it did. Unfortunately, I've since graduated high school, and I have no regular contact with her these days, though I do often see her around town. In addition to the fact that I can't really comprehend why, of all times, now, I'm realizing these feelings, I find myself sort of, well, lost, as to how to handle the situation. Every sensible bone in my body wants me to simply go up to her and ask her if she'd like to go out sometime. I'm a fairly attractive, fairly intelligent, fairly personable guy, and I generally have decent luck with girls, so it's not that kind of insecurity that I'm worried about, it's more so the insecurity of why I'm feeling these things. Is it abnormal? Would I look like a total weirdo after all this time? I don't know. It's not the fear of rejection that bothers me. It's not that I know she isn't interested. It's more of the fear of a "what the hell?" kind of reaction, since it would be pretty justified. She's a very nice girl, so I'm not worried about the actual exchange, but I just don't want to do something if it's too out of left-field. So I your opinion/reassurance: If I simply threw caution to the wind, went for it, and let things settle themselves regardless of the outcome, would you find that to be endearing or would you think I was high? This is the dilemma that I face.
bichin Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 I say go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that you realize it's not going to go anywhere, but at least you can square away those feelings instead of letting them linger. Maybe she comes out and says she still has a thing for you. If you never break the ice you will never know.
glittergurl Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 If you don't have her phone number yet, then next time you see her, ask her for it. Tell her you'd love to maybe hang out with her if she wants. Be nice and casual; nothing to fear, really. If you approach her in a casual and confident way, she definitely won't say no. And then let's hope she doesn't have a boyfriend already.
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