learn2live Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 Does anybody here know of anybody who got married to the same person after they had gotten divorced. I was just wondering I have been separated now for almost two months and my wife or STBXW says she wants to get divorced and then after some separation time we can see if we still should get back together. Does this ever work?? Link to post Share on other sites
Mike1966 Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 I'm sure it has happened before and probably to some posters here. Why isn't she willing to work on the marraige now? What are the issues? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 I've heard of it happening. It seems like a goofy thing to actually "plan" though. Link to post Share on other sites
mich_dog_lover Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 my aunt and uncle did that... they were divorced for awhile and then got remarried. I think he was happy they did as she passed away this summer. make you think.. Link to post Share on other sites
marsbars Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I think that is an absurd idea. If she isn't willing to work on things with a separation then it isn't worth it. I know, I am battling a divorce right now. But it has been put on hold for a while as we are going to try to work things out. A divorce is an ugly, bloody, destructive thing. Add kids and it is a thousand fold worse. A divorce just destroys both parties lives for the sake of erasing a piece of paper. Don't think that it won't ruin the both of you emotionally, financially and spiritually. Yes it is a clean start but it takes years to recover. If she can't separate for a while and work on things then you just need to suck it up, push the button and nuke the hell out of things and get it over with. I can respect a woman that I love for working on things but to nuke things only to come back. Hell no. And I have been through hell with my wife and her H bomb, but she has decided to work on things one last time so I still have the same respect I always have. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 It happens but is super rare. Not something I would ever keep in mind as a possible outcome. If it does happen it's usually many years later and unexpected. Divorce is emotionally, physically and financially destructive. Even the most 'amicable' divoces have a lot of tough feelings there. Hard to love someone after all that goes down. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 She's just telling you that to get the divorce now. Trust me she has no plans to get back together with you, otherwise she'd just separate, work on the marriage, and not spend all this money. I think that alot of women tell their husbands this as a way to trick them into giving them the divorce and making it easy for themselves financially. Don't fall for that BS. If she wants to get back together there is no reason to divorce. As a side note, my parents married each other twice. Didn't work out. I told my dad that was like putting spoiled milk in the fridge and coming back two years later to see if it was still spoiled. Link to post Share on other sites
Author learn2live Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 Thanks to all for the advice. I keep on hanging on to the relationship because I think she is going come back after a year or so. This is very unhealthy and I need to let go or I will drown. I started to let go this week a little and I feel better. We are going to couples thearpy but we are on different pages so it sucks. I still do feel that if she said lets make this work I would drop everything even if its not in my best intrest. So thanks I feel I to must move on but its hard so hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Hey, Mz. P... Thanks to all for the advice. I keep on hanging on to the relationship because I think she is going come back after a year or so. This is very unhealthy and I need to let go or I will drown. It's kind of like holding on to a rope, being dragged along the ground behind a runaway horse. You think maybe if you can keep holding on you can pull yourself back up at some point, but in fact, you're just getting the crap beat out of you. The sooner you let go and tumble to a stop, the sooner you can get up, brush yourself off, start healing, and pick which direction to start walking to find life you will choose next. I remember that starting to accept the loss was both crushingly sad, and yet also a relief at the same time. I would cry my eyes out, and then afterward, feel a drained sort of peace. And over time it was just like the instructions on a shampoo bottle: lather, rinse, repeat. But also over time, I came to be able to experience the loss with an appreciation for what had been good, along with the sadness, and the feeling afterward became more peaceful, and less simply drained of energy. But yes, it all starts with letting go, the beginning of a journey toward acceptance. If you are ready - when you are ready - let go the rope. Link to post Share on other sites
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