2.5 years...I'm sad

[starlite]

We broke up! We had been living together 1.5 years and together 2.5. I really thought he was it. I loved him more than anyone before.

 

We just fought all the time. He liked to go out at least 2 nights a week until 3 and 4am. He had told me a few lies in the first 2 years and when he apologized he always added a "but"!!!! "But it wasnt that big of a deal" "But I did it cause i know you would be mad" etc etc etc.

 

One thing that stuck out today was the time that I had a minor heart procedure done. I had an ablation done (I'm 25) due to an arrhythmia. I had it done on a Thursday, and although I was able to walk and was "ok" (minus being scared, having wicked palpitations and not being able to drive), he went out on the following Saturday from 5pm until 4am!!!! He couldnt even stay in with me the whole weekend!!!! Is that normal??? He thought Thursday and Friday were enough...and he didnt even call and check on me. I got upset and he got mad at me for it because he shouldnt have had to feel guilty.

 

That was a year ago.

 

I loved him though. It is so hard knowing he is just leaving! He loves me, if i asked him to come back and tell him I would change my, what he calls, insecurities, he would. I have that power. But he doesnt think he does anything wrong.

 

So tomorrow, he and a friend are coming to pick all his stuff up. We had so much coming up. I hope i dont see him out with another girl. This hurts SO MUCH. I am used to life with him in it.

 

And I know we both still love eachother.

 

HELP!

[Curious139]

I'm sure you do love him and you must really be hurting right now. Still, if you read what you've written, he hasn't exactly been loving and supportive for you. It sounds like an unequal relationship where he has the power and you need to be constantly reassured. You wouldn't need reassurance in an equal loving relationship.

 

Sorry if that seems harsh but I'd like you to reflect on these matters. This might be freedom for you to find the person you deserve.