raidsniffer Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 For some reason this thing is lingering for almost 4 months now... i don't know what else to do. I go to the gym almost everyday I try to fill my time with friends and things to do so I get my mind off of it. I focus on what's important in my life, school, work, making myself better. But every now and then it brings me down again thinking about the entire relationship and everything. When will it end? It's getting to the point where I'm constantly frustrated and irritated and it's affecting almost every part of my life. Even when I'm with friends and family. There's a part of me that feels like I've been lied to and pissed off at her, but there's a part of me that misses her. I try not to think about it or anything, I don't talk to her or anything but it still gets to me. any suggestions as to what to do?
Bosiell Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Soz to hear that Raid. Not really sure about what advice. You could try and always focus on the negative sides to her, the reasons why you should not miss her. Write them down, all the bad points, read them regularly. After four months have you tried finding someone else/dating again? There is nothing better to take you mind of an old relationship. Doesnt have to be anything to heavy of course. There is plenty of motivational spiritual material you could read also, to help you focus on yourself and help the healing. I expect some people take time to heal fully than others also, me included I am afraid . Maybe you just need more time. Be strong dude..
rcaliguy Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 my gf and i just ended a week ago. we had one of those on and off relationships for 3 year and 3 months. the first few times we broke up, didn't really last long. we'd be fed up or mad and we'd just "break up". lately though things were getting far more serious and we had talks about marriage and family. i'm 25 and she's 27. we're both responsible people and we like to have fun but there was always that part of me that was unsure if she'd be the one for me. the last year or so, we were living together. she had just purchased a condo and asked me to move in. i did but i was still having committment issues. (my parents just divorced last year after 25 years of marriage). i no longer saw marriage as this "forever lasting" relationship; someone you'd grow old with. i saw it as a very fragile relationship that could possibly go belly up at any point in time. i had been trying to deal with stress from school, work, family, and our relationship. last week it got so bad that i ended up moving out without really having any where to go. i figured, we'd work out and i'd just move back in after a few days. (b/c we had had the on and off relationship). onlhy this time she's done. she's done and she doesn't want me back. so i no longer live with her (what i consider my home as well), no longer have our dog with me, my world just came to an end. this week alone i think i only slept about 3-4 hours every night. i guess it doesn't help that we still talk but it's just talking. i think it's more so b/c she's worried about me. i hit rock bottom and was having thoughts of suicide. i love her and now she was no longer there...not wanting me back. and on top of everything, i know she's already talking to someone else. i had been seeing my therapist every 2-3 weeks but am now seeing her every week. my ex-gf actually came in with me this past week b/c my doctor wanted her to come in with me. (we're also seeing my doctor again next week). but it's just hard. i miss her like you couldn't believe. i can't eat, sleep, focus on work, focus on school, i feel i'm alone at night with my thoughts just kicking myself for having left her. i've never felt so raw, so exposed. i get nauseas all the time. i'm a mess. i know i need to get over her and what was us but it's just so hard. i had never had suicidal thoughts before, so it scared to have that go through my head. typing this is helping. i just need to focus on myself and get myself straighted out but it's just so hard. i feel like the love of my life is gone, gone forever! this is just so hard. thanks for anyone reading this.
Author raidsniffer Posted September 28, 2007 Author Posted September 28, 2007 Yea i've dated a couple girls afterwards...but it didn't take my mind off of it completely. And knowing my personality I can't get comfortable around new ppl easily and I give off this apathetic personality, but its only because I'm gaurded sometimes. Its odd how it was so easy for me to get over my previous ex, who cheated on me, and how hard it is for me to get over this one, who really didn't. I've focused on the negative sides of her, but thats the part that makes me feel like I've been lied to. I guess I'm just bitter about everything. Looking back on the last couple years, my life hasn't been how you say...pleasant and this is just another thing to top it all off. Maybe its an accumulation of all the crap I've had to deal with in my life and with her and it's just affecting my moral. I've went to a therapist but that was a waste of my time as I was trying to find out my personality and why I can't be happy. Her not-so smart phd ultimately deduced that I was depressed and put me on anti-depressants. Those were useless. they didn't do anything, just made me think more and get me even more down. And for one thing she never understood my personality, where I am somewhat apathetic and indifferent about everything. And honestly sometimes I just don't know what or who I'm really hanging on to, or if I'm hanging on to anything at all.
missdeathwish Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 You could try talking to her. The problem with that, of course, is that it might bring up more bad feelings. Or worse, she might ignore you. Ouch. Maybe go to a psychologist (counselor) instead. Don't worry about meds (though if you're depression is ongoing don't feel bad about considering them) and just talk through it. Or a clergyman... anyone who's trained to talk about it. Good luck. You're doing the right things.
lonelybuthappy Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 For some reason this thing is lingering for almost 4 months now... i don't know what else to do. I go to the gym almost everyday I try to fill my time with friends and things to do so I get my mind off of it. I focus on what's important in my life, school, work, making myself better. But every now and then it brings me down again thinking about the entire relationship and everything. When will it end? It's getting to the point where I'm constantly frustrated and irritated and it's affecting almost every part of my life. Even when I'm with friends and family. There's a part of me that feels like I've been lied to and pissed off at her, but there's a part of me that misses her. I try not to think about it or anything, I don't talk to her or anything but it still gets to me. any suggestions as to what to do? Just be patient. It is hard, but you must force yourself not to think about her. Don't listen "smart" advices like:"Love always win" ,"send her flowers,now", "Tell her you'll mary her" , etc. It will never work. You are No. 1! Protect your self esteem. If she loves you, she'll find you...Don't answer her calls or e-mails...Never. 4 months isn't much. Take more time, be gentle to yourself, and most important: patient, patient , patient. You will love again.
Bosiell Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 I am finding it very tough also to get over my latest break, much more than any before. Simply because I find hard to understand and reason with it, she never cheated on me, never argued with me, was always honest with me. I knew she wanted to love me but simply coudnt, simple as that. Most painful experience ever. I want to look back and think, "it wouldve never worked out" or "she was a stupid bitch anyway" and "best of without her" But this time around I just cant, and thats why it is so difficult. This has completely knocked the stuffing out of me to. Had a rough couple of years also. Meeting this girl and having such a great time with her, made me so happy again with myself. Now I am back to square one and then some. But I am looking forward. I have some very supporting family and friends. I have no choice but to get going again, and I damned will The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it. Plutarch
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