caemeigh Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Hi everyone, I'm new here so i'll get right to it. I did something horrible last week and need to regain the trust of my fiancee. I used to work as a nanny for my fiancees uncles, wife, sister. (Sorry kinda confusing) Well while working for her i borrowed without asking a few books and also a little bit of money. All of which i intended to return/pay back. I know i was stupid and wrong. Well when they noticed i had borrowed money without telling them they threatened to call the police. I was scared and at first lied and said i didn't do it. Which a few hours later i told my fiancee i did and I returned the books and money the next day with a very sincere apology. Now my fiancee doesn't trust me. There have also been two other instences where i kept things from him. They were both about not paying bills on time because he stresses over money so i didn't tell him and he found out about it. Now i need to try to regain his trust before he tells me to hit the pavement so to speak. We live in virginia but only moved here a year ago from NY (8hrs away) so we hardly ever see any family. And i'm scared if he tells me to leave i have no where to go and no car since they are both in his name. He has been on and off being distant. Becuase he is so hurt by what i did. I don't want to loose him and need all the advice that i can get. Please give me any feedback. Even if its to tell me i'm crazy LOL. THANK YOU!!!
amaysngrace Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Why would you take money from somebody without asking? I don't know but I'm kind of siding with your fiance on this one. It's good you know it's wrong now, but didn't you know it was wrong then? Also too, you lied to him about the bills you didn't pay. This guy wants to share a life with you. And he probably expects you to act like a woman but instead you have been being like a sneaky little child. I'd be freaked out if I were him too. Sorry.
norajane Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 What is your issue with money? Why didn't you pay your bills, and why did you take someone else's money? What did you need it for? How much did you take? I ask because your fiancee is asking himself the same questions. If the answer is you have a problem in handling money and believe it's better to hide your problem and 'borrow', then you can't fix this. If you truly just did something stupid without thinking it through, it's possible you can maybe salvage it by being just brutally honest with him about your issues, whatever they are. Were you never taught how to handle money? Is this your first serious relationship, so you haven't learned how to be open and honest about things like being late with the bills? I don't know how you can explain why you took things from other people, but you have to just spill your guts and lay yourself at his mercy.
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