Author LoveLace Posted October 8, 2007 Author Share Posted October 8, 2007 Just to be clear, when I asked if he got my message last night I expected something like, "Yes I'll you call you later"...perhaps he thought I wanted a final answer right then... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 LL, you keep trying to back him into a corner. Stop it. Step away from action. Back off and give him all the space he wants and more. You're only hurting yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 You have a decision to make, not him. You cannot control his actions or force him to make a decision. He's displaying inaction, although his flakiness speaks volumes to me. He doesn't want the confrontation and is probably emotionally incapable of handling the belligerent output. Back off, way off, leave him to his silence and flakiness. He's opted out without taking the man's way, so you opt out permanently. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted October 8, 2007 Author Share Posted October 8, 2007 Yea I"m not sending anything to him, it isn't like it's stuff he needs pronto, so I'm just going to move along as normal and flirt a lot when I'm out. Sounds like a plan to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted October 8, 2007 Author Share Posted October 8, 2007 You have a decision to make, not him. You cannot control his actions or force him to make a decision. He's displaying inaction, although his flakiness speaks volumes to me. He doesn't want the confrontation and is probably emotionally incapable of handling the belligerent output. Back off, way off, leave him to his silence and flakiness. He's opted out without taking the man's way, so you opt out permanently. Don't worry I have no desire to take this any further, he said let's take a break so ok we're on a break...the rest is up to him while hopefully I can get dates in the mean time, all I know is this, I want to drop my text feature!! I'm sick of it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Don't worry I have no desire to take this any further, he said let's take a break so ok we're on a break...the rest is up to him while hopefully I can get dates in the mean time, all I know is this, I want to drop my text feature!! I'm sick of it!! Call your service provider right now and see if they can deactivate the feature. It might make you dread the phone a little less. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Hey, LL, I too am sorry that things took a down turn. In a year from now, you'll probabley get a letter or phone call saying you were the love of his life, the " one he let get away". This has happened to me, and I'm always like "sorry, a day late and a dollar short", Those magic feeling in the beginning need to grow, not be stomped on and then attempted to be revived at a later, more convenient date !!! So, chalk it up, you lived, learned, had some fun, found somone who while a little unstable, feel for you head over heels, time to heal, have some fun, and when ready move on. NO CONTACT, ok hun ???? YOU, are over this, don't even remember WHAt stuff he might have left at your house, and in the future : "Sorry, hun, I'm a grown up, if you wan't to talk, call me, I'm not into texting my BF before homeroom" * smile* Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 LL, my heart really goes out to you. I can't imagine how I'd feel in this situation. Like you, I find that I love too easily and often get burned as a result. The way he handled the situation through texts is total BS. You don't deserve that from anyone. I'm glad to see you're being strong and detaching yourself emotionally. Keep it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted October 9, 2007 Author Share Posted October 9, 2007 Good story..turns out I had $100 to get a new phone with through my wireless provider...so I got a new phone AND had the text messaging feature removed!! Thanks to Marty, I despise it now. And there's no return text that the customer isn't set up for texting, so if anyone texts me they will think I'm ignoring them. I told Jenny about it because she texts me sometimes....then she said I need to let Marty know about it...what? I don't think so...at the most I might shoot him an email which he seldomly uses, I've never even emailed him before, and I could say FYI because the texting just cost me too much or something. But I don't even know if he checks the email once a month...if he texts and thinks I'm ignoring him, I don't know that I really care! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 LL, don't text or email him. You're still trying to get a reaction from him where your focus should be on you. Consider him a write-off and work towards that aspect. A guy who flakes or panics is the last thing a girl wants. What you need is consistency. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted October 9, 2007 Author Share Posted October 9, 2007 TBF - I can't text him even if I wanted to...as I said above I no longer have the feature because I bought a new phone last night and had the feature removed while I was there. And emailing him is pointless anyway because he uses it so rarely. I am not trying to get a reaction out of him. I also changed my mind about sending his stuff, guess I'll just let it sit around and take up space in my apt...whatever. Maybe down the road if we don't talk for a few months, I'll send it to him then just out of courtsey. I've gotten all the reaction out of him that I care to at this point. Whatever we're doing, I'm happy and almost relieved with it. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders; I was starting to feel pressure to be whatever he wanted me to be without screwing up, and the pressure started to drive me nutty. Things also started to feel too routine...monotonous (however you spell that)...and I'm a person that's all over the place, I tend to get bored without change or new excitement. Marty is fun to hang out with and likes to do such a variety of things which I enjoy about him immensely...but if I thought about having to pass up opportunites with a new guy...well I remember thinking "hmmm...not sure how I feel about that..." I think one reason I'm in the medical field is that you never stop learning because the amount of information we have to know is endless; and there are sooo many different cases to stumble upon, as well as different outcomes....I'm trying to be an ER nurse...so if that tells you anything about my personality...well I don't know that i'll ever be able to stay excited with a guy...I think it's a matter of accepting that things are not always going to be so exciting and dreamy and that part of keeping a healthy relationship is accepting routine weather it bores you or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 Hey, I could say FYI because the texting just cost me too much or something. Just break lose LL, it feels good. Tell him: Hey, I got a new phone AND had the text messaging feature removed!! Thanks to you, I despise it now. I'm freaked out at texting. I need therapy for texting. Anyway, if you ever want to contact me (sure buddy) send me an email, oh, and I'm going to send you your stuff back bc I can't stand looking at it anymore either. Bye. Yeah, the hell with everything. Otherwise you'll continue building that pressure inside you like you said and acting passive-aggressive bc those things show in a way or another. (Find you a doctor ) Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted October 9, 2007 Author Share Posted October 9, 2007 Thanks Ariadne but I'm not going to send him any email..specially one like that...ok it's tempting but no I don't think so...I agree with "taking a break" so I"m not going to turn around and make it look as though I'm p*ssed about it now. I'm just going to go about my life as though he's not in it, because he's not, at least temporarily...and weather or not it's temporary will be obvious with time. One or both of us might meet someone else, or eventually we'll want to try our hand at it again. I'm ok with any of those possibilities so might as well leave it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted October 9, 2007 Author Share Posted October 9, 2007 Thanks Ariadne but I'm not going to send him any email..specially one like that...ok it's tempting but no I don't think so...I agree with "taking a break" so I"m not going to turn around and make it look as though I'm p*ssed about it now. I'm just going to go about my life as though he's not in it, because he's not, at least temporarily...and weather or not it's temporary will be obvious with time. One or both of us might meet someone else, or eventually we'll want to try our hand at it again. I'm ok with any of those possibilities so might as well leave it that way. In all reality, he's communicated (even though more by text) with me more than a lot of other guys have...in the past many dudes have gotten away with pure silence and ignorance with me...so maybe Marty didn't necessarily communicate his thoughts in the way I prefer, but he did in some way or another, acceptable for now...but only for now... Link to post Share on other sites
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