Donza Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 I will be seeing her at her sisters wedding in November. Her sisters husband introduced both me and my ex. It will be a highly emotional day for her i believe as her sister will be moving out of home to live with her new husband for the rest of her life. If i see her, i know i will either just freeze up or i will want the ground to swallow me up. We have not talked for three months at all. And i have only seen her once in four months driving towards me on the other side of the road. Even then i took a shallow breath and my heart started beating faster and faster. We both reluctantly decided to call it quits. Our breakup was very very hard on both of us. Moreso on me, as i could not take anymore of the rollercoaster of emtions and implemented NC. I honestly cant see any chance of us getting back together. She is too stubborn, proud and she will lose face amongst all her friends and family. I would take her back in a heartbeat. We both over-reacted. There was no infidelity, name-calling etc. And yes, i did love this girl. And she knows this...... Yet, we have not spoken.. I honestly wish we could have cleared the air before the wedding. But a family member of hers has passed away and i dont want to interfere in her life. Any advice? dont know if i will even be able to get a simple "hello" out since it still hurts so bad.
SuperHands Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 Is it really important that you attend? If not, i would suggest not going at all. You shouldn't put yourself in a situation of hurt and pain unless you really must. After all, you wouldn't prod a broken leg with a stick would you? If you really have to go, then do but think positively about how the wedding will go. If you have any negative thoughts about seeing her, push them away from you in your mind and think about a counter positive thought i.e. maybe you'll get talking to someone there. Do that however many times it takes. If you do see her, smile at her as if she was a friend. Don't talk to her unless she talks to you and then just keep it as friendly and generic as possible. Don't talk about your relationship. Good luck.
Bosiell Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 Just a suggestion Donza. Do not go.. Do you feel obliged at all? Its her sisters wedding and not your own sisters, so its not as if its relations. If you are good friends with her sister then I have a chat with her and explain your situation, I am sure she will understand. Your own feelings are more important than anything else at this time.
Author Donza Posted September 27, 2007 Author Posted September 27, 2007 Just a suggestion Donza. Do not go.. Do you feel obliged at all? Its her sisters wedding and not your own sisters, so its not as if its relations. If you are good friends with her sister then I have a chat with her and explain your situation, I am sure she will understand. Your own feelings are more important than anything else at this time. I have to go as her sisters husband to be is one of my best friends. His family treat me like their own son. I am in part going to the wedding as one of the guys brothers. So i will have to go. A part of me was going to actually tell him i could not make it. But he would be VERY offended. He has told me to just enjoy myself, and be on my best behaviour for his own sake. Note: This is a 3 DAY wedding........ I will see her at the actual wedding, and then at a huge party the following day.
Mustang Sally Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 Yeah, I pretty much agree with the others. Send a nice tasteful gift, and let it go at that. Neither you, nor any of them (your ex included) needs any more drama now, right? One of my ex-BFs invited me to his wedding a long while ago. We had been broken up for quite some time, and I was the one who broke it off, so I was surprised he even invited me, but we had a lot of history and friendship between us, so I don't know. Maybe he was trying to show me up or something? Who knows... Anyway, I didn't feel right about being there. I didn't believe that his new wife would want me there, so I just sent a really nice gift they could enjoy together with a nice note and didn't go. I think that was best.
Bosiell Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 I have to go as her sisters husband to be is one of my best friends. His family treat me like their own son. I am in part going to the wedding as one of the guys brothers. So i will have to go. A part of me was going to actually tell him i could not make it. But he would be VERY offended. He has told me to just enjoy myself, and be on my best behaviour for his own sake. Note: This is a 3 DAY wedding........ I will see her at the actual wedding, and then at a huge party the following day. Very offended? Hmm, I would like to think he would be more understanding than that. But I see you what you are saying. If you feel you have to go then you are going to have to be very strong my friend, simple as that. If needs be purposely stay out of her way at all costs. Do not feel obliged in any way to talk to her. It is a couple of months off yet anways. I would personally not even think about it till way closer the time. You have enough going on in your head and heart. You will undoubtedly be feeling better with yourseld by then.
Dawg88 Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 The problem with this forum is that everyone gets all hung up on NC. While I agree with the concept, there are situations where you have to use common sense. This is one of them. You can't stop living, and not going to the wedding will be an insult to your best friend and just make you look immature to everyone else, including your ex. You have to remember that the wedding will be just as difficult for your ex as it will be for you...unless you go in there brimming with confidence, show her respect, politely say hello, perhaps initiate some casual conversation, and maybe even ask her to dance. You say you would take her back in a heartbeat. Well, here's your chance. Show her what she is missing. Maybe she will open back up to you. Who knows? And if she doesn't, or she brings a date, so what, go have a good time. Maybe you will meet someone else at the wedding. Screw her, don't stop doing things you want to do because of her. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Go have fun. The hell with NC.
Aintayankee Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 If you go to the wedding, don't talk to her. If you happen to walk by her, and she notices/sees you, you might say hello and give a slight nod, but nothing else. She probably won't want to speak with you, especially all the joy and emotions of the occasion, just be their for her sister and her husband, be dignified, and don't bother your ex........not saying that you would out of weakness or anything. It does hurt, I believe it, but you are there cause two people are gonna be happy in marraige together, so go and be there, it is the right thing to do.
Diplok Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 The problem with this forum is that everyone gets all hung up on NC. While I agree with the concept, there are situations where you have to use common sense. This is one of them. You can't stop living, and not going to the wedding will be an insult to your best friend and just make you look immature to everyone else, including your ex. You have to remember that the wedding will be just as difficult for your ex as it will be for you...unless you go in there brimming with confidence, show her respect, politely say hello, perhaps initiate some casual conversation, and maybe even ask her to dance. You say you would take her back in a heartbeat. Well, here's your chance. Show her what she is missing. Maybe she will open back up to you. Who knows? And if she doesn't, or she brings a date, so what, go have a good time. Maybe you will meet someone else at the wedding. Screw her, don't stop doing things you want to do because of her. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Go have fun. The hell with NC. I would definitely not do that. It's his friend's wedding, you have no idea how she would react. The focus should be on the wedding not on trying to attract an ex. Go have fun, and don't you dare look at her.
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