mizzj0y Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 I have a situation, actually going on for almost 4 years now. I've been with my boyfriend since Feb. 2003. Im not gonna lie. Our first years together was hell and he was cheating on me left and right. Call me a fool, but I stuck with him through all that. On Feb. of 2004 was when he finally broke the news to me that he got his ex pregnant. She was supposed to have the abortion but decided to keep the baby no matter of the situaton. Mind you, me and this girl from day one, before she even got pregnant always bumped heads. She hated me soo much because she feels that I "stole" him from her which was not the case because I didnt even know about her when I started dating him. In her eyes he was her boyfriend, but in his she was just a quick lay. Technically, she wasnt his girl. But anyway making the story short, she had his daughter, whom is now 3 yrs old. The first year of this baby's life was all with her mother because she did not like the fact that I will be there whenever the baby is with the father. My boyfriend told her that she has no choice because im his girlfriend and I will be there regardless. So it wasnt until the baby was 2 when the mother finally got the point and let us have the baby on the weekends. The mother and I always get into it. We even had a physical fight last year which bothers her til this day because I whooped her behind. But now everythings calm and everyones more mature and civilized. Mind you I am only 20, my boyfriend is 24, and the mother is 22. Now my problem is, I often get these mean thoughts that I cant control. I have nothing against the baby because its not her fault but sometimes I cant stand her for no reason. Sometimes I breakdown about the situation even though I thought I was over it. And sometimes I even get a bit jealous. It would have been different if the baby was already there when I met my boyfriend. But the baby was freakin conceived while we were together on our first year! Im with him going on 5 years and the baby just turned 3. Everyone tells me that oh I should have left him if I couldnt deal with it. But its just not that easy. I dont know anyone thats been in my situation except like celebrities or athletes and such. So if anyone can relate or give me advice so I can cope with it better please feel free to respond.
Kenyth Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Wow! The poor kid! What a situation for an innocent child to be in. Honestly, I think it's time you left this relationship. I can't for the life of me figure out why you're still in it to begin with. As it currently stands, the relationship is pretty well doomed. I'm afraid the child will be the victim of mistreatment if you stick around. To you, she's a constant reminder of pain, anger, and frustration. That's a very dangerous position for a small child in your care. Children only thrive in a loving nurturing environment and I don't think you're capable of providing that with the history involved. This relation-"ship" has already sunk and you're riding it to the bottom. Time to bail and swim for air before you drown.
norajane Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 You got involved with this guy when you were 15 and he was 19. Maybe you didn't have a chance to meet other guys and so you thought this was the best you could do. But you can do a lot better for yourself.
MoonGirl Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Wow. The only advice I have is to leave the situation you're in. You are young, and should find a man who has no baggage.
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Wow! The poor kid! What a situation for an innocent child to be in.... ... I'm afraid the child will be the victim of mistreatment if you stick around. To you, she's a constant reminder of pain, anger, and frustration. That's a very dangerous position for a small child in your care. Children only thrive in a loving nurturing environment and I don't think you're capable of providing that with the history involved... This is what scares me. Are you ever afraid you might hurt the child? I don't think you should stay because it sounds like you shouldn't be around this child. I understand you are upset, but this is no way to feel about an innocent child.
luv Posted October 27, 2007 Posted October 27, 2007 this is a very sad situation sounds like deeper issues. first you are proud to say you whooped your step-daughters mother's butt. Then you say you are worried because of the way you feel towards the little girl. Seems that you may have anger issues, and feelings of rage that you do not know how to control. You should seek guidance, and you should also end your unhealthy relationship
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