wmrjw82 Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 I blew it. My heart is ripped out and I can't cope with this anymore. I went to her house last night because I hadn't seen her since the breakup 2 months ago. Everyday I think about her, it ate away at me and ate away at me over and over again. I didn't have a clear reason as to why we broke up. I had to go! I gave her roses and poured my heart out to her. It didn't matter. She says her wall is up so high now she doesn't even want the relationship. Our first go around I was at my best and then a guy came along who she became very close with. She babysat his child multiple times per week. She said they were just friends but eventually we broke it off from the distrust and then I heard he was moving in. I confronted her and she came back very open. But my mistrust ate away at me in our 2nd go around. I was controlling in some areas where this time she was a princess and tried really hard. But she began to mistrust me when an ex of mine started calling. Her fiance had just died and we were just friends but like me, she couldn't trust that and that issue along with my controlling behavior she said caused her to put the wall up she has now. I hate myself. I want to die. I'm no good. Why couldn't I just have told that ex to **** off and deal with her own problems?! Why did I have to be such a controlling *******! I'm horrible! I deserve this pain but I can't deal with it.... my world is crashing! I lost the best thing I ever had. I can't break through her wall because she has dealt with abandonment issues along with cheating in the past and it's like talking to a stranger. I'll never have her back. Neither one of us were unfaithful but our ****ing baggage from past relationships ruined everything. The last thing I asked her was "do you think we could get past that and be more mature in our relationship since neither of us were unfaithful?" she replied with, "i am not in the market for a third go around sorry" Iam nothing to her and she is everything to me. I'm in misery and I can't escape. The last thing i text her was "well you were worth it to me, just remember that. And I would have loved u more than you ever dreamed of."
Author wmrjw82 Posted September 27, 2007 Author Posted September 27, 2007 please anyone anybody....what do i do?
reboot Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 I suspect no one is replying because everyone knows you aren't going to like the answers. What can you do? Move on. I'm sorry for your pain, but you can't force her to be with you. There are lots of other women out there.
Spinderella Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 These things happen. Most relationship breakdowns are caused by these kind of issues. There is no point in raging at what you did in the past like that, because it has happened. If you keep resisting whats already happened like this (the most pointless exercise in the world) then its no wonder that you are still not over it. You cant change the past, but you can change the present if you let the past go, just learn from it, and move on. The sooner you stop beating yourself up for the past, and obsessing about how you can make it different, the sooner you will start to heal from the pain that you are currently in. Stop living in the past, its the most pointless thing you can do.
Sanslatete Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 You cant change the past, but you can change the present if you let the past go, just learn from it, and move on. The sooner you stop beating yourself up for the past, and obsessing about how you can make it different, the sooner you will start to heal from the pain that you are currently in. Stop living in the past, its the most pointless thing you can do. I agree. I used to kick my own arse for things I did in my relationship, but if it was really worth saving for the both of us, we would have worked at it and not broken up. She obviously didn't want to do that and took the easy option of going off with somebody else instead. I hate her for it and her weakness (everything was my fault in her book and she never took any responsibility for anything she did, a great big cop out in my eyes). I love this woman to the ends of the earth, but I can't make her feel the same about me, no matter how much I'd like it to be so.
Geoffrey Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 and do your best NOT to repeat it. EVER! If you do this...you will actually turn a profit from a loss! Be reasonable with yourself. Also - please understand that the chances of a successful reconciliation with a third party in the picture are ZERO. I speak from experience! Get going....and good luck!
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