Kasan Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 Oh one more thing...your husband is using food as a way to self-medicate. Some people use alcohol, drugs, gamble, engage in promiscuity, you get the idea. Losing the weight, if he can, will only be a small part of the issue. Getting to the bottom of the need to self-medicate using food is what will be the hardest thing to do. A lot of people who do the gastric bypass or lapband procedures find another addiction to replace the food.
Author onthethruway Posted September 27, 2007 Author Posted September 27, 2007 that's a good point. I'm planning a non-nagging evening for us. I need to think about everyone's comments . I don't want to jump the gun if I'm not prepared.
allina Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 If I am coming off as nasty, I am sorry. I didn't think that I was. By the way Allina, are you married? I am not married. I live with my bf. Sorry, I'm very sensitive. Allina's comments about me being disrepectful upset me. Well sorry but to me your sttitude toward your husband is nasty. You seem angry and disgusted in him. In my opinion your tone is not one of a devoted, loving but concerned wife. Allina, frankly I think your comments are missing the ball. I think the OP's posts and feelings are very consistent to how a normal, responsible and loving person would feel given the circumstances. Ok well it's my opinion. I read through this thread again to see if i was wrong/out of line and I stand behind what I said. I guess I need to not post on threads where I don't think the OP is correct because I'm not going to sugar coat things so that people will like what I say
sarg81 Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 when i was in highschool i was about 5'8 260lbs and i new i had to do something for myself to change untill he figures out for himself hes not gona want to change its like being addictied to food. and yes food can be addicting one of the 7 steps of any recovery program is to admit "I have a problem" thats the only way hes gona want to change the only advice i can give you is to urge him to get out more WITH YOU. make yourself a part of his change. and for your daughter well I alone i go to the produce store so all the stuff in the house is healthy if my wife wants junk food she goes and gets it i dont want my daughter going through what i went through in school
Green Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 well I am the horniest man alive. And let me tell you in my mind Ive made you hott, and wow it kind of turns me on to think of a hot woman married to some big fat slob who gets to have sex with his wife who is repulsed at him and takes a few drinks before even being able to do it. How does it work do you just sit on him. He can really get his dick far into you can he with all the fat? I bet the sex is horrible... does he make you do anything weird like suck on his fat... olright that stuff aside I KNOW HOW YOU CAN GET HIM TO LOSE THE WEIGHT ........... Call Dr. Phil he eats this kind of stuff up and I know the man will make a case out of you too, god if you are hot and you play the whole fat guy making his hot wife thing come across good in a letter ull get on the show and he'll make a project out of U and the pressure and the spot light and the Dr. will win ur husband will lose the weight... thank me later write the letter tonight contacting the Dr. Phil show and please let us know when you mailed it get on it today dont procrastinate
JamesM Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 well I am the horniest man alive. And let me tell you in my mind Ive made you hott, and wow it kind of turns me on to think of a hot woman married to some big fat slob who gets to have sex with his wife who is repulsed at him and takes a few drinks before even being able to do it. How does it work do you just sit on him. He can really get his dick far into you can he with all the fat? I bet the sex is horrible... does he make you do anything weird like suck on his fat... olright that stuff aside I KNOW HOW YOU CAN GET HIM TO LOSE THE WEIGHT ........... Call Dr. Phil he eats this kind of stuff up and I know the man will make a case out of you too, god if you are hot and you play the whole fat guy making his hot wife thing come across good in a letter ull get on the show and he'll make a project out of U and the pressure and the spot light and the Dr. will win ur husband will lose the weight... thank me later write the letter tonight contacting the Dr. Phil show and please let us know when you mailed it get on it today dont procrastinate Okay, this is incredibly sad for a "long time" member to post such sarcasm as this. Why waste your time and ours? Did you really get your jollies out of this?
a4a Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Let me see if I get this right ON. Your H sits around and does nothing all day while you are the only provider for the family? He refuses to take care of himself? He expects you to have sex with him? He is not pulling his own weight in your relationship? (not a pun) His mental and physical health along with the stability of the family financially is on your shoulders? IMHO you have a right to feel angry. You have a right to feel upset. He is not being fair to you at all. The idea that you should love him no matter what simply because food and weight is an issue does not hold water with me. He is hurting you and if he is aware that he is hurting you that is even worse. If he will not go to the doctor you should for stress. Talk to a MC on your own. You are not responsible for his health, life, or choices he is making. Simple statement : I am not happy about our current marital status. You need to step up to the plate and take some responsibility for yourself and for this household. If you continue on this path I will have no choice but to make decisions that are in my own best interest. Then hand him a number for free therapy and an over eaters group. Most areas have such groups. At that point it is his responsibility to fix his half of the M and himself. He is an adult and can make his own appt. for a physical... a walk in clinic without insurance will charge him $60- $80 for a visit. I am guessing that this is not the first time you have been the responsible one in the M.
Author onthethruway Posted September 28, 2007 Author Posted September 28, 2007 geez I go home and this thread explodes! Thanks for all the advice. I think things will get better. We had a nice evening and I brought up some things. The open dialogue was good. I'm hoping to make some progress. I just need to figure out a strategy that will work. Take care everyone.
Kasan Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 geez I go home and this thread explodes! Thanks for all the advice. I think things will get better. We had a nice evening and I brought up some things. The open dialogue was good. I'm hoping to make some progress. I just need to figure out a strategy that will work. Take care everyone. Please keep us posted. Fingers crossed that you can make some progress!
Author onthethruway Posted September 28, 2007 Author Posted September 28, 2007 Please keep us posted. Fingers crossed that you can make some progress! Thanks, I will
Green Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Okay, this is incredibly sad for a "long time" member to post such sarcasm as this. Why waste your time and ours? Did you really get your jollies out of this? Yeah I got my jollies, I dont trust your reasons for posting on here. My advice was humorous but true, I think this seems like something that would get on Dr. Phil show and I think that would solve it.
JamesM Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Yeah I got my jollies, I dont trust your reasons for posting on here. My advice was humorous but true, I think this seems like something that would get on Dr. Phil show and I think that would solve it. You don't trust MY reasons?! What are my reasons? Unless you meant that you do not trust the OP's reasons for posting. What do you think her reasons are? And believe it or not...although I do think this OP has some good reasons, I can see that so many of these threads here seem unusual. But I have also learned in real life that many people really do have unusual lives. So...I treat everyone here as being for real. And you are welcome to your opinion, but I think it is good to always remember two things....how would I feel if someone responded to me that way? And will what I am posting be helpful to the person posting in a constructive way? Too many people leave LS because of rude and unnecessary comments made to their threads.
whichwayisup Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 I dont trust your reasons for posting on here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t77030/ To name one. Go back and check out his past threads...
Author onthethruway Posted September 28, 2007 Author Posted September 28, 2007 Please don't argue or point fingers at each other. I just stated my problems and wanted some advice. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. That doesn't mean we have to argue. I appreciate everything that has been said and I have taken some mental notes. I want to thank you again. You don't have to reply anymore.
luvmy2ns Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Some people are just a one-man debate team without a cause.
JamesM Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 Please don't argue or point fingers at each other. I just stated my problems and wanted some advice. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. That doesn't mean we have to argue. I appreciate everything that has been said and I have taken some mental notes. I want to thank you again. You don't have to reply anymore. My apologies. I just did not want you to think that we respect such posts or that we consider posts such as the one above to be acceptable. We don't. I feel that you can gain such positive support here, but from my own experience when I first came here, one crude post can cause one to leave this Board. I think that you can add something to this community. Please keep us updated on your situation. As one who came here for help a couple of years ago, I can say that your situation and how it is resolved can be the exact solution that someone else can use for a similar situation. Please don't be a stranger.
Green Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 My apologies. I just did not want you to think that we respect such posts or that we consider posts such as the one above to be acceptable. We don't. I feel that you can gain such positive support here, but from my own experience when I first came here, one crude post can cause one to leave this Board. I think that you can add something to this community. Please keep us updated on your situation. As one who came here for help a couple of years ago, I can say that your situation and how it is resolved can be the exact solution that someone else can use for a similar situation. Please don't be a stranger. hmmm you cant let it go can you even after they said they apreciate all posts... Im not here to be any ones friend or be polite ... Im here to say what I think, and thats what this person wanted she could get all the same posts, but its the ones that are different that make you think. I dont know what makes you think ur a moderator but ur complety off topic and you sir/mam have done more then your fair share to ruin this thread or turn this person off to LS.
burning 4 revenge Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 well you did ask if she likes to suck on his fat
Green Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 well you did ask if she likes to suck on his fat hahah god that was classic, I need to reread my post but I wish she had answered that... I hope she does follow my Dr. Phil advice it would be cool if I found out about the episode and said to myself thats the people from the thread, and I do think theyd get on the show if she wrote in, and I do think theyd get some good tv magic make it look easy but they really worked hard treatment
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