Might it get better?

[pnx88]

Well I posted here not too long ago (break up forum) about my GF who broke up with me a month ago. My last post was pretty long so ill try and keep this one short.

 

Well my GF broke up with me after a 2 year relationship (wanted the future together with the kids and so on...), told me I was never there for her and such, and was tired of giving me second chances. Said I would never be right for her, told me it would never work, but ive heard it all before. She started seeing this kid (and I mean that literally) but broke it off with him recently because she realised he was WAY too young for her. Funny cause the kid was just like me, minus the below paragraph.

 

Long story short ive seen the error of my ways and I have come to terms with problems in my past. Im no longer unsupportive or controlling (I told her in the past I didnt want her doing certain things like getting tattoos and going skydiving etc... Yes its sensable but I bothered her about it all the time and its what she REALLY wants, so...) and I am definately there for her as I dont make any of her problems about myself like I used to. Shes been coming to me for support with school and even that kid, and im there for her like I should have been before. Other than these things I was always perfect for her (her words). I mean for a while there I made her miserable, but no more.

 

Since breaking up with him, shes really getting closer to me on her own. This is a girl who firmly told me she didnt want to talk to me every day anymore and see me all the time because we were just friends, that went to calling me the very next day wanting to see me. This is a girl who told me after breaking up she had hope for us still. She recently told me she still loves me and even more recently keeps blowing me kisses, kissing me on the cheek telling me its "just because she felt like it" (which I find adorable) and hugging me around my waist from behind while kissing me on my head.

 

Short story... Went over her house 3 days ago to watch a movie. I was sitting on the couch and she comes to sit next to me. Shes all over me, leaning on me, linking her arm around mine, holding my hand, resting her head on my shoulder, staring into my eyes all night. She was kissing my hand and putting it on her face. Finally figured she wanted me to do something so I tried to kiss her. She actually let me, but then backed off, though she wasnt upset I did. She told me today it was just because she was stressed and called everything she did "just a hug", but im not dumb here.

 

So does it sound like she may be warming up to me again (what I hope for), or am I reading the situation the wrong way? Shes pretty unpredictable, so im not sure what to think. She knows I want to be with her, and she knows I love her more than life (no, I dont go around saying it, but she knows). What should I think? And if anything what should I do?

[Aintayankee]

Just think about hardcore philosophy junk, and just do what you have been doing.

[pnx88]

I thought that was a good idea. I mean all ive been doing is being myself and it seemed to make her attracted to me again. I figured, just keep doing nothing special and that is pretty much doing everything. Seems like I was wrong though. Looks like even though she hangs out with me all the time and talks to me 24/7, throws these hints to me like she wants me and broke up with this kid, still seems like shes waiting around for him for a few years till hes legal.

 

I think the problem is she just wont see me the way I am, she just focuses on the past. She told me he was better for her but the kid is exactly like me in every way shape and form, which leads me to believe she just cant see me as a better person. She told me everything she wants in a person and I match all criteria, but it looks like she doesnt want to believe it.

 

Im thinking about no contact but all that will prove in her mind is that I really havent changed and I never will. It will tell her I dont want to be there for her and all she will tell herself is 'if he doesnt want to talk to me, ill find someone who does', even though she dosnt have many other people to hang out with. Thats what she says every time she doesnt like something I do 'see, I told you youll never change', gets me every time.

 

Who knows, 2-3 years to wait is a long time for that little bugger. Maybe shell get tired or something will click in her head and shell change her mind. Or not, she doesnt make much sense anyway. Stranger things have happened, but gd knows this girl is pretty off when it comes to things that make sense. I wish life came with a 'fall out of love' button. I cant stop loving her, and the truth is I dont want to, but the pain is killing me.

 

Given the implications in the things she does, I dont know weather to persist, or give up hope. One minute she loves me and the next she doesnt, but actions speak louder than words and her actions show theres an attraction. Ugh, im so confused, someone put me out of my misery!