Aussie65 Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 ive tried so hard to make this relationship work...I have gone through so much and around three weeks ago over something trivial my partner and I broke up for a week and got back together with the understanding that this was our last chance....we either make it work or walk away. My daughter was so angry with him(she is 15) the last time she went to stay at her Fathers for a while...I didn't mind so much as she doesn't get to see him much and I have had her for the last 10 years on my own...it gave myself and my partner a chance to try and work things out with the understanding she would be coming back. My daughter came over for dinner last night and I gave her a bag of chips and drink....my boyfriend after seeing later they were missing started going on and on about it saying they were his.I cannot believe how selfish this man can be!I am trying to get things back together here and the last thing I need to hear is him whining about a bag of chips and drink I gave my daughter so I called him selfish and he turned into an instant smart A.I got more angrier and he just refused to admit he was wrong and acted like a child.I asked him if he was going to apoligise and explained how important it was for me to get this right....so he goes to bed and ignores me!!!I am so angry and hurt and this morning he gets up and puts on the TV,I could hear him laughing so loud,I believe to upset me more so if anything as it was not a time to be laughing about things,if anything he should have tried to fix things.I then get told he only came back to me because I kept calling him...that I pretty much made him so I called him a user THEN he says he cares about me???what the heck?? On his way out the door he tells me it's all my fault,that I do this to myself....that I need to see a councellor YET I know it's his fault,that he started it.He tells me to have a good day and he will see me this afternoon. I don't know what to do....is he playing mind games with me here?Any advice on this would be great.
whichwayisup Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 Get the guy out of your house and out of your life. He is an a-hole, a jerk and is an immature child. DO you really want this man to be a stepfather and a role model to your 15 year old daughter? They guy doesn't get it and he never will. Fact that he threw a hissy fit because you gave YOUR daughter his drink and bag of chips just shows how unfit he is to BE any kind of positive influence on your daughter. There are reasons why you two keep breaking up, maybe it's time to let him go and find a man who is respectful and nice to you.
Author Aussie65 Posted September 27, 2007 Author Posted September 27, 2007 he told me later he was only joking about the chips and drink...AS IF!he just wanted to take the blame off himself. I know deep down even though I love this immature creature that he needs to go but doing that will be not without a fight...he refuses to leave!he uses things against me...oh and then when reality hits he starts crying and begging me to take him back. All he could say was how he was going to pretty much do what he wants now as I called it off...i told him that is all fine as long as he isn't under my roof.My house,my stuff...I am over the head games and over a packet of chips for Gods sake! I am confused honestly...he CAN be the most wonderful,loving charming man on earth yet when he thinks he is right God help me...he wont take a step backwards...he wont say sorry...he contunues to hurt me until I cannot take any more.Right now I want to run...get away from him as far as possible...all he is worried about and it's not about me but his "things" and what I might do to them.I am over this..ive tried hard to make this work yet now I am being blamed for making promises I could not keep.I told him I would go to councelling if HE CAME WITH ME...not by myself...he thinks as I have suffered from depression that this is all my doing...that I need the help.
groovewithjamie Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 some guys just like having the power and one way to do that is to dangle you on a string and watch you squirm. i hate that. my ex used to make me feel so much lesser than him like i never did anything right or like i wasnt good enough. but realize that its all a game that he's playing and that its NOT true. you deserve so much better than that. even though its hard, you need to move on because someone who truly cares about you wouldn't make you feel like that to begin with
figleaf Posted October 7, 2007 Posted October 7, 2007 The "I was just joking" or "I didn't say that" (when they weren't or they did) is the worst. My fiance (who is constantly griping about how much he hates liars and hypocrites) often says those kinds of things. And then I'm left without a clue how to proceed. I can insist that he did and we can get into a "he-said, she-said" argument in which he won't back down, or I can walk away and not forgive (because I'm not too keen on liars either) but wonder whether the issue is worth breaking up our relationship over. Now that it has happened a couple of times, I'm wondering if it is...so I feel you Aussie!
sweetjane Posted October 14, 2007 Posted October 14, 2007 This type of man always blames you for everything - its YOUR issue and YOU have the problem. It can drive you mad after a while and you start to question yourself and your sanity - you think 'maybe he's right' 'maybe I did imagine that or over dramatise it or....' I also have a teenage daughter and a dysfunctional relationship (we should form a club ha ha) - all I can say is that your daughter is watching and learning from this and what she's learning isnt good!
WaterTiger Posted October 15, 2007 Posted October 15, 2007 The house is yours. He can't "refuse" to leave. You can have the police throw him out if he gives you any grief. Kick his butt to the curb, you have two children in the house but only one is under 18
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