Does it only happen to me?

[SweetOlive]

Have I had enough?

Enough of my ex running my life, playing with my emotions and breaking my heart. Each day I sit here reading and understanding every ones story and I agree 100% with NC. Each day I say today is my first day to NC and I fail. I'm just so tired of my ex making me feel like the smallest person, of him choosing when he wants to deal with me or not. He has cheated and lied to me so much. I'm just so stupid to fall for him each time he says he is willing to change. I cant do this to myself. He shouldnt do this to me. But why do I still let him run my life? I just want to not care, just walk away and say enough is enough!! I want the courage other people have here and begin NC. Oh I feel terrible.

[Jmina]

This is what i did

 

 

when i got the urge to msg or call or email

i sat through it and cried my heart out.

 

 

all i did was just sit through it. i let it pass. and in half an hour or so, it passed.

 

i went 'wow'

 

then it came back again and i rememberd...i sat through it last time i can do it again..

 

 

again i cried through it, i prayed to god, i punch my bed, i sobbed, i did everything. and waited for the urge to pass

 

i did it again..

 

 

now im 1-1/2 months into no contact.

 

you CAN do it.

 

you just have to be willing first. then no what works for you when you get the urge.

 

for me... just sitting through and knowing it will pass... also knowing that if i contacted her it would make things worse. that stopped me. i was smarter than that.

 

goodluck

[SuperHands]

You obviously know this person is not right for you, so you need to let him go.

 

Try to focus on yourself in the future instead. Free from him and with someone else. Just day dream about yourself with that special person in the future. In some wonderful place, like the beach or whatever.

 

The more you focus on a bright future, the easier it will get. If you can do this, then you will naturally not want to break NC rather than battling yourself not to do it. In other words, work with yourself, not against yourself.

[Jmina]

i also i rang good friends when i got the urge and asked them to remind me why i should stay away.

 

 

for me... just sitting through and knowing it will pass... also knowing that if i contacted her it would make things worse. that stopped me. i was smarter than that.

 

now i have this self strength that ive never had... self strength, that can only be taught through hard lessons.

 

goodluck and peace

 

Jmina

[SweetOlive]

Thanks for the replies!

I know I can do this, I just do the stupid "oh, he must be worried for me". I have gone without texting him for 2 days. He gets upset and I give in. I told him I want this to end. And he says "fine" and the next thing you know he wants this "so bad".... The pathetic part its that its almost been 5yrs with the on and off relationship. Each time I feel like crap, when anxiety hits me I tell myself I cant do this. But I still do. He just text me and I deleted the msg and I am determine to not contact him. Do I ot care about myself enough to move on? Or is it that I care about him more?

[SuperHands]

You need to help him as much as yourself by maintaining NC and doing just what you said, by deleting any text messages.

 

You are torturing each other and you'll never get over each other if you keep giving in. I understand your anxieties. God i've been there. But be brave and push on through. When you get real low, let it out and have faith that you will pick up again.

 

Keep focusing on that bright future!

[Jmina]

you care about the both of you.

and you DESPERATELY need time apart.

 

if you care enough about your future you will do it too.

 

i mean who wants to look back and go if only i stayed focused that bit harder i couldve been happier for longer.

 

i dont want to look back at my life and feel pathetic.

 

i want to beat it.

 

tell him that you desperately need time apart. and that is it.

 

or just do as you did and dont reply back.

 

he will bombard you wtih msgs. just delete them

 

in time you will both be okay.

 

in a long time if it was meant to be maybe you will rejoin again. but right now, you need this time.

 

go NC girl.

 

keep posting.

 

jmina