frannie Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 This is what I will never understand. Why are so many women worried when the wife finds out? 2,3,4 d-days? Wouldn't you rather have 1 d-day where the wife finds out & then a decision be made? And if no decision, be done with the relationship? Please explain why you'd want to remain a secrete forever. Thanks. TF Well there have been quite a lot of different answers on here. Some OW are understandably worried about exposure (lots of stories about BW telling all and sundry, including OW's H if she's also married), some are concerned for the fallout in the MM's own family (especially if they plan a future together), some are concerned with the inevitable restrictions on time and contact there would be in an affair post-d-day. Which all goes to show that OW are themselves in different situations, some married, some single, some wanting a full relationship with the MM and some not. Some OW know their MM will never leave and accept that, some hope he will leave in the future and a d-day would just complicate the sitation which they hope would go smoothly. All different reasons for not wanting the affair to be discovered. Personally, I'd almost rather MM never left than he left following a d-day. I don't want to be known as his ex-OW, I don't want his children put through knowing their Dad was in an affair (with anyone, not just me), I don't want his W having to re-write the history of their marriage with ME in the background. And I don't want to have to look at him knowing that he blew it and allowed things to get to that stage, putting us all through that, just because he was careless when he should have been mindful of what we'd all go through... rather than getting a plan together and leaving when he should have done. I just think it would be disaster all round. I'm not the kind of woman who wants to be involved in that kind of mess.
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