Jmina Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 I am sad and i dont know if it is because i miss my ex because i love her so much and because i am still greiving from that.. or if its something else, if im just hanging onto something that i dont need to be sad about.. am i making any sense? how do i know the difference between being sad over ex and just being sad. ive read on here that some people dont realise that they are actually over their ex but they dont realise it because they are so used to pining for them. i do pine for my ex, but i just dont want to be sad anymore. maybe im in that transition stage where im almost ready to let go. im almost ready to say "thats enough now" am i done? even just writing that makes me emotional. some help please fellow LS's Jmina
Bosiell Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 I still think of my ex it seems 24/7, suppose its almost out of habbit now. Yeah I am sad, no doubt about it, but also know I am on the road to recovery. The hurt is no longer there, well not as painful anyway, so I can handle the sadness in the main. I see myself close to am i done time. Its not been easy, hell at times, but I know better times are ahead, not going to be a smooth road, but I damn determined to get there. To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
XxBacktoBlackXx Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 I feel like with one of my exes it took me so long to recover because I was so used to feeling that sad. I was used to everyday waking up and thinking about him and our situation. I don't feel this way anymore. What helped was meeting other people and also realizing that I was addicted to this feeling of being sad.
Author Jmina Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 Yeah i think that now im aware of this, i might be able to find some more happiness again. coz you cant change what you dont acknowledge. i dont want to rush into being over my ex, it will take its own time i guess, but i want to be aware of falling into something that isnt even about the breakup and the loss of my ex! it could hapen really easy i think if you were sad for quite some time.. Jmina
SuperHands Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 It's possible you are just lonely now. I find myself swaying between 'oh god I miss you' to 'I really can't be bothered to feel this much hurt over you anymore' to feeling just completely alone. It feels as though my friends don't want to be around me, which is silly because if they didn't they wouldn't hang out with me. I would say (and this is what i'm doing) start focusing on yourself and start learning to become comfortable with your own company again. A few days ago I was terrified to be on my own to the extent that i'd even try to hang out with people i didn't particularly like. Now i'm fairly comfortable on my own again.
Author Jmina Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 I refuse to be lonley. when the thought comes into my head i talk myself out of it..because i know i am loved and ive been through my lonley phase before, now i am much stronger.... Its something that i just wont label myself as. I have found myself again and i am okay spending time with myself. when my soul rests with those that i love, and my soul still rests gently along side my ex's soul, i will never be truly lonely. unless i am in denial for beign lonley haha hey anything is possible
SuperHands Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 Good i'm glad. Then you are further along the path than me and yes anything is possible.
SuperHands Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 As in you don't feel lonely, which is good. But that is what I feel now, so you are further along the path than me.
Author Jmina Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 you are also further along the path to what you were a few weeks ago, or whenever it happened. and your further along the path than someone who it jsut started for. dont feel sorry for yourself that your not there yet. if you were there already then whats the point in learning lessons. if you know that you have people who love you, and there are people you love then you are never alone. ever. if you really know what love is then you will know that love is all around. if someone who cared about you knew how lonely you felt they would say "well why didnt you call me?!? or message me?" and you would say "well i didnt really think to" or "i didnt think you would want me to" because everything going through your head are probably things that dont benefit you in the end. only think benefical thoughts when you really think you can and want to beat it. your not alone in this world. find something to be happy or excited about instead of pining over someone who isnt pining over you. hope i helped. if i didnt, well i might have helped someone else. keep posting okay. especially when your lonely!
SuperHands Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 Sorry i feel like i hijacked this thread now:p Yes i know it's something to work on. It's one of my biggest personal issues. I am confident I will overcome this and yes I will keep posting. I can't emphasise how much strength this place is giving me.
Spinderella Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 Thats abit like how I feel at the moment. I know I dont want him back, but I feel reeeeally down. I dont know how long this will last because I dont feel I really need to get over him, it makes me feel like theres nothing to judge my progress against, because I dont know why. Also how long is it going to last for?
Bosiell Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone does not mean you are lonely. You must find security within yourself, within you own soul. Try not to depend on other people or possesions for this. Remember you are never alone in this world. Sorry the hear you are feeling down Spind. You have given me much support and advice recently. Hope you are feeling more positive soon. Hugs Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances. Benjamin Franklin
Spinderella Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Thankyou Bosiell, I reeeally appreciate your kind words. Just having a bad time generally. And now I have hijacked Jminas thread.
Bosiell Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Your are welcome Spind. Hope it helped cheer you up a bit I know what you mean tho, some days can kinda suck, of that there is no doubt. Not the best couple of days for me either. But its a Friday and I am going out for a much deserve drink of five tonite with some friends. And I am not going to think of her at all! Well erm.. I am sure Jminas doesnt mind We are all in this together. Hope you are ok today Jmina by the way? Hugs
Author Jmina Posted September 28, 2007 Author Posted September 28, 2007 Of course i don't mind. we are definetely helping each other out here. apparently im not 'done yet' really miss my ex and im just torturing myself with how wonderful we used to be and how amazing our spark was. recently i have been seeing someone, but have decided to stop, it is just making me more upset as i really felt that my ex threw something so wonderful away. it was just a beautiful relationship. once in a life time. ergh. and i know one day she will realise it. but it might be too late then. i feel like shaking her and saying you silly little girl look at what you have thrown away! do you think you will find someone else that will click with you as fast as we did and will love you as much as i did??? but the really sad truth for me is ...maybe she will.
Bosiell Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 I am pretty much in the same position Jmina. I had a what I thought was a relationship just what both of us wanted and needed. We got on really well in everyway, I had never felt this way about someone before (I am getting on a bit now btw!) so really tried to be everything she wanted, show her what a great guy I was and hoped so much that she would see that. It seemed tho the harder I tried the less she gave back to me, then it ended. We never argued, always felt comfortable with each other, had loads in common, very passionate. But for whatever reason it just wasnt enough for her. Its hard enough to be missing her, all the great times. But also the rejection is a stunner, simply she couldnt love me back, she couldnt explain any reason, she knew I was a great bloke but it wasnt enough. I hold no grudges or ill feeling towards her at all. I so wish I did, it would have made things so much easier for me, wouldve moved on like I have with other relationships. I am really sad that what I thought was special between us is no more, such a waste. Maybe she will wake up one day and realise that. But like you have said, it may be too late by then. I know she will never find anyone who would give her as much love as I would. But I know its time for me to give me heart to someone else. Once Ive put the last few pieces back together that is.
Spinderella Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Hey at least you two know you were good boyfriends, and your exes can look back with fond memories. I'm pretty sure all my ex boyfriends look back and think "thank f*** thats over" Hope this helps.
Bosiell Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 Lol Spind. I doubt they look back and think that about you, surely?? You seem to nice for that Well id like to think she will look back and think yeah he was a great bloke. Something to keep in mind. I could not have tried any more with her for sure. Jmina is a girl. I am bit confused also now lol. Your last post you quoted your ex as she tho.
Author Jmina Posted September 29, 2007 Author Posted September 29, 2007 yes i ,know... thats because she is a she.. and so am i!!! if you read my old threads you will find out my story
Spinderella Posted September 29, 2007 Posted September 29, 2007 Oops sorry! I was thinking you were really in touch with your feminine side! Mind you, so is Bosiell Well that makes it worse. I am the only bad girlfriend out of two. I seem nice Bosiell, but really I am a total b**** , thats what makes it worse, because no-one suspects it of me!
Spinderella Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 I seem nice Bosiell, but really I am a total b**** , thats what makes it worse, because no-one suspects it of me! That was a joke by the way. You dont need to stop speaking to me! I'm not a b****, but I am not a very good girlfriend, cant usually commit, criticise a lot....but I do give lots of space... You know what though, looking back on it, I really think I only get like this, if I sense that things are not right anyway.
Bosiell Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 Of course I wont stop talking to you Spind, b**** or not I do not find it easy to commit either to be honest. And I am no peferct bf either. Id like to think I am one those not so common true genuine gents tho. But all that got me recently was heartbreak. Yeah If you sense something isnt right then its only natural to take a step back and be wary. Hope you are feeling brighter today by the way? And Jmina of course. Whos thread you have taken lol. Glad we have cleared Jminas erm position up to, sorry didnt read your previous thread
Spinderella Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Thankyou Bosiell, I appreciate it! Nah, I dont feel brighter, but the only bit to do with the ex, is that I realise what a creep he was. So as far as that is concerned, I am thankful that its over and I am free. Also, that I trust myself a little bit more, in realising, I can trust my instincts more than I do. Hope you are feeling better. Its good to be a gent, so long as the respect goes deeper than mere manners. Yes I have taken over the thread, see I am a b****, but I will let Jmina post about her situation any time she wants to . Seriously Jmina, I am sorry for taking over. Hope you are doing okay.
Recommended Posts