spookie Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 I have trouble not getting completely carried away with my fantasies when I meet someone I really like. THe guy I am dating now I only met a week and a half ago and, sadly, I've already thought about how cute our kids would be. I'm supposed to see him again on Thursday and already I'm a nervous wreck. Normally I have a lot of self-confidence and I am fun to be around, but right now I am questioning why he even likes me. He is smart, funny, cute, out-going and charming... he can definteily afford to be choosy. Why me? I can't help but obsess about how to keep his interest, even though I know the only way it can really work out is if I am "myself". It's just hard for me to be "myself" when I like someone. "Myself" is quirky, horny, overanalytical, and has a weird sense of humor and kind of a drinking/drug problem. I know I have a lot of strengths, too, but my biggest strengths ARE my weaknesses, which my personality is entirely dominated by. I like myself but I really have no faith that anyone will ever LOVE me romantically for who I am. Be friends with me - yes. But not love me. Where do I find that faith?
Krytie TV Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 You're starting to worry me. Based on the amount of threading you've been doing here lately, I know the first thing you need to do. Get away from LS and go out with friends. Do something other than obsess about relationships. Play some video games. Go to a movie. Something... anything. You're starting to obsess and LS is an unhealthy constant reminder about your relationships. Start living life away from the monitor. My guess anyway.
Author spookie Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 You're starting to worry me. Based on the amount of threading you've been doing here lately, I know the first thing you need to do. Get away from LS and go out with friends. Do something other than obsess about relationships. Play some video games. Go to a movie. Something... anything. You're starting to obsess and LS is an unhealthy constant reminder about your relationships. Start living life away from the monitor. My guess anyway. Heh you're right. Unfortunately I need to computer for this paper that was due four days that I've been procrastinating for the past 2 weeks. It doesn't have to be good - it just has to exist - but instead of actually writing it I just retreat into my head and think about things. Relationships included (and that's what LS is for) but other stuff too. Thinking is probably my favorite pastime.
Krytie TV Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 Sometimes it's better to be more like your avatar.
Fallen_Angel Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 I think you're me, minus the drug thing. But yes, first things first. Take a break from LS. You may think you're casually perusing threads but the next thing you know you're thinking of similar situations you've been in, and your head starts spinning and you can't stop. Being nervous is probably in your DNA, so it won't be easy to stop. Limit your caffeine intake, if that's an issue. Write down what's worrying you, so you can get it out of your system. And yes, be yourself! It's a waste of time and energy to obsess over why a guy finds you interesting or is attracted, etc. You can put this energy to much better use!
Sleek Geek Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 I remember reading a scientific article about love that said women's brains were wired to obsess about their love interests at the beginning of a relationship. I hate to think that we are determined by biology, but I remember that the article actually made me feel better about the fact that I do overanalyze and obsess when I'm starting something new. So apparently you are not alone. And you are also not alone spending too much time on this site .
MystifiedByMen Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 Obsessing over guys is typical. But, do not let other important things like writing papers for school go down the drain. You need to pull your head together and focus on your life. No matter who this guy is, you have to put yourself and priorities first. That's not being selfish, it's being responsible. Any other past time after that can be used to obsess and date. Also, it's a major weakness you are showing by letting important things in your life slack and I know guys really find that unattractive. Take care of business, be confident and strong, then in doing this, you'll realize that he's the lucky one. Not you! Oh, and kick the drug thing. That only aids in your negative thinking.
Author spookie Posted September 27, 2007 Author Posted September 27, 2007 Well, I'm happy to report that I spent today being productive instead of obsessing as I would have liked. It really helped to keep a log of how I spent my time. Instead of obsessing, I wrote that paper, went to all my classes, worked out, and sent out follow-up notes with cover letters/resumes to some potential employers. Now I'm getting ready for yoga. Baby steps at a time I guess. And I'm just going to force myself to be me when I see him tomorrow.
MystifiedByMen Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 Tha'ts Awsome you have a busy day! Keep up the good work!
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