do whirlwind relationships ever work out?

[katie82]

hello all! i am posting on this topic out of curiosity. i have a friend who has been dating this guy for about 2 months now. basically after 2 dates, she literally decided that she would move away with him next year (he is moving away in a few months, and this is compared to her original plan to move back to her hometown- this is a big career affecting decision- she has already made the necessary arrangments with her job and doesnt have the option to move back to her hometown if this doesnt work out). ive noticed a pattern with her- she's very boy crazy and usually says shes found "the one" after like a week and it hasnt worked out yet. this guy seems like a nice guy who is committed to her (which is different from her past situations). what concerns me is that i asked her how things were going and she said its been a little bit rocky (about 6 weeks into it) and that they were fighting over little things. is that a little early to start with the bickering? or is it normal in some cases?

 

my question is- do whirlwind relationshps ever work out? is she making a huge mistake moving away to a new city just to be with him? i am keeping my mouth shut either way and im going to support her no matter what, but this is for my own personal curiosity

 

i was in a relationsihp about 4 years ago where i got really swept away and was convinced that he was "the one" because of this crazy chemistry we had. we started fighting about 1 month into the relationship- and had a 2 year relationship FULL of misery and fighting, up to the point where i finally ended it. so my experience has usually been, the slower the better, but maybe some people do work out?

 

thanks everyone!

katie

[jerbear]

In my opinion, whirlwind relationships do not work out; I have seen one or two where the couple end up being married and still married after 5 years.

 

Slow a steady can be a little to slow but they to either work out or don't. One day one of the two may get fed up with the speed and move on.

 

Both people have to communicate and find out how fast to move the relationship along.

[daphne]

I have once heard an urban legend, where a friend of a friend of a friend of mine ended up happily ever after, after a whirl wind romance. I don't believe it, however.

 

In my personal experience, having seen 3 of these, they never worked and, quite honestly, these were not honest good men to begin with. I have never known any close friends who had it work either.

 

Relationships take work. People that want to get caught up in the moment and chemistry just like fireworks and no substance. The best relationships I've ever had were where we took our time, got to know each other and slowly moved into a relationship. In those relationships, there was no magic cure for problems. We worked them out. Those were my favorite relationships to be in, ultimately. I'll take grounded, peaceful passion and compatibility over intense, chaotic, codependence any day.