aprilnights_99 Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 Hello, so let me begin by saying i've never done this before but I'm really confused, and hoping someone can shed some light on what they think i should do. I apologize if this gets long.... So, I've been dating this guy (guy #1) for about four months, but we were in two different towns for about three months, and during that time i went to england for two weeks and we didnt communicate at all due to lack of computer, phone, etc. Anyway, when i returned he proceeded to break up with me, saying that he felt things were weird and that the lack of communcation had made it impossible to continue things. A couple weeks later i contacted him to see how he was doing, and things started to get better and we eventually decided to get back together, because I understood that things were awkward and maybe we just needed a fresh start. Everything was going pretty well, and we are back in the same town so thats great. However, i decided (and i know i probably shouldnt of done this) to look at his cell phone while he was in the bathroom. And to my dislike, i found text messags from another girl. Devastated i broke up with him that night, and cut all contact with him for about two weeks. Now we have started talking again, and he explained to me that while i was in England he met another girl, and slept with her on several occasions. They are no longer together and he truely feels terrible for what he did. He has left the option of getting back together up to me, and while im tempted to because its so nice to be in his arms, I dont know if i should give him another chance. I feel part of me still likes him, is it foolish to try again?? Once a cheater, always a cheater??? Please, I need advice!
jerbear Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 Sounds like you two drifted apart during the time apart and he got temptation. 7 months is a short time and half of it you two were not even together. How sincere is he when you two were together? If you can trust him again then try again. The other is to find out what your intuition says.
Author aprilnights_99 Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 yea, i suppose we did drift apart, although when i got back from england the break up was a complete surprise to me, I honestly did not see it coming. I believed he was sincere when we were together, but its hard to tell now that I know, that part of the time he was lying to me about her.
Aintayankee Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 That was not his fault you spied into his phone. So I argue that you caused this, if you believe in cause and effect. You left him for a few weeks, for whatever reason. I say that he just wanted to hold someone, and thats why he did it. You can't just lash out and scar him after you wanted to get back together. I say go back, give him a hug, and don't let go until he prys you off of him (starfish tactic) Latch on, and tell him you just love being with him. Maybe appologize for going through his phone. Go for a hike, and stuff. Latch onto him all night every night. The starfish tactic is the only thing I can suggest to battle these painful and frequent complications.
Recommended Posts