Loreo00 Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 First Hi I am new here... Well where to start.. I met my "ex" 4 years ago online... we did a long distance relationship. Then finally after about 8 months we were living with each other. Unfortunately we were living in my parents home. Things seemed to be going fine. We had our arguments but we always worked them out. We got engaged a year ago. We started planning 5 months ago. I bought a dress. The day after I bought the dress we were talking and he started to tell me that he needed out of the house (which was a constant thing we both said). story short he found a place to stay. With out me. The next day he moved out. We talked more and he said everything is on hold. The wedding, us, everything. He wanted to get his debt situation straight. He wanted to get financially stable. I was ok with that. He said that we would go back to dating because we never really did. A few nights ago (a month after the above) we were talking and he said that he doesn't want to be with me at all right now and needs me as a friend. He loves me still he just needs to work on things within himself. He has issues with confrontation and dealing with situations. Also just about talking about things. he says the way we both are right now we wouldn't work. He sees his "wife" in me... but we both still need to grow. I am so heart broken I can't even explain. I just cry. I know that I have my own things I need to deal with, and things I did in our relationship that I shouldn't have done. I know that now and am working on not doing it again. And he says he is working on his issues. When I asked if we both change for the better then what.... he just said we would talk then. I am so lost. I just know I want to be with him. Should I keep my hope alive... i know he has my heart. I can't help that.
amaysngrace Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 I'm confused because if you two are going to get married shouldn't you be talking regularly about how you're working things out individually? Shouldn't you be there for one another? And start counting on each other to find solutions to the problems you're each facing? If you're both determined to wait until you get your issues right before you start talking again then what's the point of being a couple? Especially a married couple. I'm no marriage expert by a long shot but it really sounds like you guys aren't ready for marriage.
Author Loreo00 Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 Well we aren't getting married.... we called everything off...
amaysngrace Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 I think it's sad you aren't even talking anymore. I know it's difficult to hear but maybe you weren't meant to be? Or maybe you are and you'll be back together in time? I feel bad you're going through the heartache you're feeling right now. I would just try to offer a little advice to you...instead of trying to "not" do whatever it was you use to do, try and dig a little deeper and find out why you did it in the first place. Also if you guys decide you want to try to make it work, maybe couple's counseling could help you both. I hope you feel better soon.
Author Loreo00 Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 i must not have explained myself. We are talking. He is my best friend. We are just I guess working on things we need to work on that mad our relationship difficult. The things I did was bother him when he was hanging out with his friends. I know I did it because I was jealous of not being able to be with him. That isn't right.... he didn't bother me when I was hanging with my friends... its normal to hang out with other people. He is working on being able to talk about things and confrontation. He says he passed up business oppurtunities because he thought i would get mad or something. But he knows now that is not true. He doesn't blame me. He knows a lot of it is things he needs to open up about.
Chiquita27 Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 So, are you still boyfriend and girlfriend or you are just friends?
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