Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 You obviously know nothing about A's or MM when OW end it... But that's ok, stay in your little bubble... Yeah, that's a big majority there, isn't it? No, I think I live in the real world.
Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Or they just get better at hiding it...You know, whatever gets them through their M... Hide it? My H? He couldn't hide anything now. He's too remorseful of the one and only A he's ever had. Fortunately, he got hold of a real skanky one, who couldn't hide her true colors very long. Ya know, gold, as in digger? lmao Naw, there's nothing hid between us. We get through our M just fine now. Better than ever. It's about d*amn time too. I've invested alot of years into that man. Glad he finally got a clue. And to think all it took was one greedy homewrecker. lol
Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 And he's still home with her. Right now. You're not 'winning' this 'competition', Mino. The cheater wins - he's got both of you mad at each other and fawning over him. Now, isn't that the sad, pitiful truth?
Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 It makes me wonder if some cheating parties are more in competition with the betrayed parties then really in love with these married people? Ya know, I was just wondering that myself. Makes them kind of pathetic, really. Competing against someone who wouldn't know them if they passed them in a store. That sure is something to brag about.
Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Im not mad with her, why should I be? Competiton??? I dont see this as a game. But I am sure when she see, Her " competition is gone, and she is left with her prize, she will ALWAYS wonder when the next "competition will show up. See that IS the difference between her and I. I don't need him, I do love him. But I don't need him for finiancial support. I CAN go on without him, if I wanted.... Hey, why don't you prove that to all of us nay sayers?
Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 In many cases I'd agree with you. But I disagree with your blanket 'it's fruitless' comment. Surely it's up to the individual to make their own choices in life? Of course many people will call that a selfish, amoral standpoint, but there it is. It's life, whether you like it or not. To answer your first point, why divorce, simply because you have a love relationship outside the marriage..? Because there are LOTS of reasons to be married, and only ONE of those is 'love'. OK, I understand we're posting on 'LOVE' shack here and everyone is hung up about luuuurve. But there's more to life than that, more to marriage than that. Things like children, responsibility, honour, family feeling. You don't just toss those aside because you fell for someone else. Not everyone lives their life according to the dictates of love. An affair can easily be a love affair... not just something sexual. Anyone claiming that that's not the case is simply naive, blind or ill-informed. As I said before, if he wanted to be with the OW bad enough and loved her enough, he'd be with her and not his W. Take that as you like it.
LikeNoOther Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 As I said before, if he wanted to be with the OW bad enough and loved her enough, he'd be with her and not his W. Take that as you like it. The thing is, there are cases where Hs do leave their Ws for OW but BS (esp the ones in the forum) chose not to accept that and create this fantasy that Hs don't do that at all just so we, OW see that we won't be with MM in the end.
Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Well, in the case of my H and the OW, he didn't leave me, and I know other cases of the same outcome. I don't know what % you are referring, but I don't need to press any point about how many MM end up dumping their W's for the OW. Maybe you fall into that category, maybe not. All in all, OWs shouldn't expect too much from a MM.
LikeNoOther Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 I've read that most of these OW do not expect anything at all from MM but you people still keep giving nasty remarks...
Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 I've read that most of these OW do not expect anything at all from MM but you people still keep giving nasty remarks... I am now speaking for my situation and the OW in it. She was a gold digger. She was in it for my H to pay her way, any way she could accomplish that, she was trying. She initiated dday, thinking just because he told her "I don't love her like I once did", that he'd fly out of our M, he just needed a nudge. Nope, she cut off her nose to spite her face. Are these nasty remarks I'm making to you now? No, juzst the cold hard truth. Are you a gold digger or an OW who just wants someone to hold on a cold night? I don't know, or care. I know what the xOW in my H's case was after. She didn't get it #1 because my H grew some and realized what his problems were and he solved them.
reboot Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 LNO: You honestly expect people to be cheerful and full of light about this when they've been stabbed in the heart by the person they loved most? What an interesting point of view....
Havn_a_life Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 LNO: You honestly expect people to be cheerful and full of light about this when they've been stabbed in the heart by the person they loved most? What an interesting point of view.... I am myself, some 5+ yrs down the road looking at it with eyes wide open and no stars and fantasies. I say this for myself. Some ppl are in the R they're in and only see what they want. I hope it works out for her, if that's the route she feels is best for her. I just hope she doesn't expect the BW and quite possibly in the end, the MM to go along with her plans.
reboot Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 I find it amusing how shocked they get when the WS decides to stay in the marriage. What do they really expect?
whichwayisup Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 As I said before, if he wanted to be with the OW bad enough and loved her enough, he'd be with her and not his W. Take that as you like it. Yes, I agree. But, if he chooses not to leave, and still has an OW on the side, then the OW is filling in a need for him. Lust, sex, attention, emotional attachment...Whatever...Obviously whatever it is, is NOT enough for him to give up his wife and family. The thing is, there are cases where Hs do leave their Ws for OW but BS (esp the ones in the forum) chose not to accept that and create this fantasy that Hs don't do that at all just so we, OW see that we won't be with MM in the end. Fantasy......Many OW live the fantasy and believe MM when he feeds them lines of crap to keep that fantasy going. Actions speak louder than words. If a MM says he'll leave his wife and doesn't, HE won't be leaving. Too many OW wait around year after year in hopes (fantasy) that he'll leave because he tells her "I will leave, just not right now." I've read that most of these OW do not expect anything at all from MM but you people still keep giving nasty remarks... Are we reading the same posts? MOST of the OW here want their MM to leave their wives and family for them. Read the last bunch of threads in this section. The OW who aren't saying much, but are just answering posts here ARE still with their MM, but they have accepted their role as the OW in their MM's life. Nothing more, nothing less. Sorry to be harsh, but the reality (not fantasy) IS, a MM who keeps his OW as his sidedish for a very long time has NO INTENTION of ever leaving his wife and kids. Think about it. If a MM falls inlove with another woman, he'll do everything possible to end his marriage as quickly and painless as possible so he and his OW can start their lives together.
overandout Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Yes, well you probably get all that from her own lips, given that you know her personally. How is MM's W, by the way, I forgot to ask You make a joke out of it rather than deal with the issues I raised. Maybe he can't have sex with you because he is feeling guilty, or maybe he is trying to be more intimate at home. Who knows. If you never asked him to leave his marriage, I would have you down as a happy OW. Somehow I doubt that;)
overandout Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 As I said before, if he wanted to be with the OW bad enough and loved her enough, he'd be with her and not his W. Take that as you like it. Someone who speaks some sense and truth. Trouble is, some OW just don't want to admit or accept it.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Someone who speaks some sense and truth. Trouble is, some OW just don't want to admit or accept it. Or perhaps this opinion is the "truth" you prefer to agree with?
overandout Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Or perhaps this opinion is the "truth" you prefer to agree with? Point taken. OK I agree with her post.
Author Mino Posted September 28, 2007 Author Posted September 28, 2007 Hey, why don't you prove that to all of us nay sayers? Like I said, " If I want too",, BUT GUESS WHAT? I don't wanna:laugh:
whichwayisup Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Fine, you get what you get, you know what's what. Don't complain about it. You don't want to walk away, then accept your role as the OW. There's your reality...Day in and day out..
luvmy2ns Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Point taken. OK I agree with her post. There is really only one truth in each affair situation. Either you have a MM who really does plan to leave his wife and end up with the OW, or he's being honest and telling the OW he isn't going to leave his wife, but the OW continues to feel he may someday change his mind, so hangs on anyway, and then there's the MM who's a lying sneak. I think, in most situations, the latter is "the truth." But some will always be blind and refuse to see the MM for what he "truly" is.
luvmy2ns Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Fine, you get what you get, you know what's what. Don't complain about it. You don't want to walk away, then accept your role as the OW. There's your reality...Day in and day out.. Exactly. I mean, why even put the thread out there? You're firmly entrenched in your role, so enjoy it.
LikeNoOther Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Fantasy......Many OW live the fantasy and believe MM when he feeds them lines of crap to keep that fantasy going. Actions speak louder than words. If a MM says he'll leave his wife and doesn't, HE won't be leaving. Too many OW wait around year after year in hopes (fantasy) that he'll leave because he tells her "I will leave, just not right now." You do know there are MM who left their Ws for their OW and are actually happy, right? You are aware of that as much you are aware that there are MM that stay with their Ws, right? Or do you just choose to accept the latter only? Are we reading the same posts? MOST of the OW here want their MM to leave their wives and family for them. Read the last bunch of threads in this section. The OW who aren't saying much, but are just answering posts here ARE still with their MM, but they have accepted their role as the OW in their MM's life. Nothing more, nothing less. Sorry to be harsh, but the reality (not fantasy) IS, a MM who keeps his OW as his sidedish for a very long time has NO INTENTION of ever leaving his wife and kids. Think about it. If a MM falls inlove with another woman, he'll do everything possible to end his marriage as quickly and painless as possible so he and his OW can start their lives together. Like I said earlier, there are OW who can accept being an OW and those who cannot and want more than just being an OW. You clearly understand that so just bloody accept that instead of being a freaking broken record. As much as a lot of OW here accept all the bullcr*p from BS, why don't all of you accept that MM are telling OW the truth? Some of you are definitely not in our situation so I don't any of you BS could possibly understand what we are going through as much as you all would like to think so. You have no freaking idea at all. Just like me, I have no idea what goes on behind your closed doors BUT I know what's happening in my MM's M and no, not just from him. Just accept that like we all always have to bear with BS coming here and bashing every single OW here... be it new or old.
LikeNoOther Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 LNO: You honestly expect people to be cheerful and full of light about this when they've been stabbed in the heart by the person they loved most? What an interesting point of view.... Oh my goodness... I'm not that heartless like some BS! Please give me some credit!!
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