Ruthieo01 Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Just Need a little guidance [FONT=Times New Roman]There is a guy in my life that I have known for about 10 years. Ever since I was about 16 we have been close to hitting the dating point about 7 times. There are always quick little flings – we will hang out, talk on the phone, become good friend again get caught up in each others life and just as we are about to hit the “I’m in to you, really flirting” stage. Something happens and we lose touch. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Let me just add really quickly that we get re-connected in bizarre ways. Not just once or twice, SEVERAL times, almost freaky. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Well last week we had gotten re-connected in one of those weird ways. So He called me up last night and wanted me to go hang out with him at his house. So I did! Well we had a great time, went on a walk at night, took a little drive, probably the best time I have ever had with him. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]So after about 3 hours of talking, we were listening to music and we kept getting closer and closer to each other. Till he was curled all the way up to me, laying his head on my stomach – Keep in mind I have never held hands with this guy, never kissed. I don’t even think I have ever hugged him. So this was a little different for me. Well obviously we started making-out. We didn’t have sex! But things got heated [/FONT][FONT=Wingdings][FONT=Wingdings]J[/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman] Well I didn’t really know how to take because this was the first time this had ever happened, I wasn’t sure if he was just horny and wanted someone to be with. Or if his intentions were genuine and it just happened. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Because we have hung out so in the past, I don’t think he would look at me as someone who is a hook up. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Just want everyone else opinion.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]THANKS![/FONT]
norajane Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Because we have hung out so in the past, I don’t think he would look at me as someone who is a hook up. Don't make the mistake of assuming this. You really don't know what he's thinking. You wouldn't be the first to assume he's interested in a relationship when he's really not. He could be interested in taking things to a dating level, but you just don't know because he didn't SAY that. Guys who want to date you usually tell you - they don't just get close to you physically. Since you've known each other for so long, why don't you talk to him about the other night and really find out whether he wants to date you or not? Please don't have sex with him until you know. It sounds like you'd really be hurt if you had sex and then found out you were just a fling.
Author Ruthieo01 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 Thanks a lot. I am just not sure how to take this?
norajane Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Thanks a lot. I am just not sure how to take this? Of course you don't know, because you made out and neither of you said anything about what you were doing! In my experience, guys who go to the sex part when it isn't clear that they want to be in a relationship with you, are just going with the flow...taking the opportunity that is right in front of them...a hook-up. But, I could be wrong. Which is why I don't think you'll know what he's thinking until you talk to him. In the meantime, what are YOU thinking? Do you want to be in a relationship with him? Do you want to go out with him on dates, you know, where he treats you like a girl that he wants as a girlfriend instead of just inviting you to his place to hang out and then make out? You have control here, you know. It's not all about him and what he wants.
jcster Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I've had this happen to me several times. Every time, it happened because the guy didn't want to be in a real relationship - but we got along well and it just "happened" that we ended up having sex. I guess it's what you'd call a friends with benefits type thing, although that phrase didn't exist when it happened to me. Don't have sex with him until you know for sure whether your ok with that type of situation. In 99% of the cases, it will destroy whatever friendship you have, and leave you with a murky, messy sexual relationship with almost no hope of resolution.
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