crywolf9653 Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Hey everyone....I've gotten a lot of advice on my problem from a lot of people....I'm hoping someone will come up with something ingenious here to help me in my situation.... Summing it up, my fiance broke up with me about 4 months ago....we had been together for 3 years...primary reason for the break up was she thought I didnt want her anymore. I was working 3 jobs trying to make ends meet...and they still weren't meeting. Between being exhausted all the time and financially stressed, I was distant, and I did not spend a lot of time with her. This was my fault, and I take full responsibility. Truth is, I was wondering if things were gonna work out for us at the time she broke up with me....10 minutes after she did I fell apart. I realized I should have fought harder cause I just lost the best thing in my life. Fast forward to present...Still have a hard time eating and sleeping....still love her...and (here's the fun part) she still lives with me. She really has no place to go, not to mention we have a truck financed in both our names. I am fixing to file bankruptcy, which will unintentionally hurt her as well. There is very little hope in working things out ...she's stubborn, though she does say she still loves me. She's just not in love with me anymore. My life is hell. someone help me.
Ocean-Blue Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 She's just not in love with me anymore. ANYMORE is the keyword here. Find a way to get back into her heart. The fact that you two still live together mean you can do this... If she fell in love with you once, she can again. I'm guilty of expecting my bf to always be there and be emotionally available...in fact, we've argued endlessly over this. I complain that he's not as loving or as attentive sometimes and he tells me that I simply don't understand the pressures and stresses in his life. And while I want to continue complaining, I eventually heard what he was saying. You need to stop being "distant". It's one thing to be busy and stressed...another thing to be distant. Make it better. Do little things. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you still want to be with her and that you are willing to hear her out. You may want to provide more details (on why she is no longer in love with you). She's still around...so you still have a chance. Good luck.
Author crywolf9653 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 I've told her how I feel....she just doesnt feel the same anymore. Her heart was broke..she doesnt trust me anymore with it. She says she thought I didn't want her, so she let me go. Plus, now there's another guy in the equation...originally they're just 'close friends'. Now she's saying she would like to pursue a relationship with him, but he won't even consider it while she's living with me. This guy is a friend of a friends..I sorta know him. He's not pursuing Nicole out of respect for me, which is cool...but he calls almost every day...she'll go over to his house and stay for hours....which just rubs my jealous bone the wrong way. I do little things for her (supporting her is one of them). I bought her the new Iris Johannson book, cause I know she really likes her books...I've bought flowers, cards, took her to a movie...nothing. She doesnt even like it when I touch her anymore. She's put up walls I don't think I can break down. I don't even know if I want her back anymore the way she is...I just know the love we once shared was strong and beautiful...and worth not giving up on. I may not have a choice though.
Ocean-Blue Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I've told her how I feel....she just doesnt feel the same anymore. Her heart was broke..she doesnt trust me anymore with it. She says she thought I didn't want her, so she let me go. Plus, now there's another guy in the equation...originally they're just 'close friends'. Now she's saying she would like to pursue a relationship with him, but he won't even consider it while she's living with me. This guy is a friend of a friends..I sorta know him. He's not pursuing Nicole out of respect for me, which is cool...but he calls almost every day...she'll go over to his house and stay for hours....which just rubs my jealous bone the wrong way. I do little things for her (supporting her is one of them). I bought her the new Iris Johannson book, cause I know she really likes her books...I've bought flowers, cards, took her to a movie...nothing. She doesnt even like it when I touch her anymore. She's put up walls I don't think I can break down. I don't even know if I want her back anymore the way she is...I just know the love we once shared was strong and beautiful...and worth not giving up on. I may not have a choice though. If you can honestly say you gave it your best shot and she's moved on emotionally...there really isn't much you can do, is there? The ball is now in her court. She can chose to let you in again or not. Just make sure that this isn't some playing-hard-to-get ish. You know? Yeah I know that's immature (and I have no idea how old you or your ex are)...but sometimes people play hardball b/c they get tired of waiting for the other person to come around. You know her best. If you think there's still a chance, do whatever you can to woo her. Perhaps you two need space (her moving out may help). Also, don't become her crutch. She may be taking you for granted...she knows you're always there (for now anyway) and thus hasn't really entertained the idea of life without you.
woodsfield Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Hey everyone....I've gotten a lot of advice on my problem from a lot of people....I'm hoping someone will come up with something ingenious here to help me in my situation.... Summing it up, my fiance broke up with me about 4 months ago....we had been together for 3 years...primary reason for the break up was she thought I didnt want her anymore. I was working 3 jobs trying to make ends meet...and they still weren't meeting. Between being exhausted all the time and financially stressed, I was distant, and I did not spend a lot of time with her. This was my fault, and I take full responsibility. Truth is, I was wondering if things were gonna work out for us at the time she broke up with me....10 minutes after she did I fell apart. I realized I should have fought harder cause I just lost the best thing in my life. Fast forward to present...Still have a hard time eating and sleeping....still love her...and (here's the fun part) she still lives with me. She really has no place to go, not to mention we have a truck financed in both our names. I am fixing to file bankruptcy, which will unintentionally hurt her as well. There is very little hope in working things out ...she's stubborn, though she does say she still loves me. She's just not in love with me anymore. My life is hell. someone help me. sell the truck...drive a POS for a while. finances is a big part of marriage and you need to rectify that, try to work less on earning money and work more for her, right now. she needs you now more than you need money. this may not be possible right now, but you may need to make some finacial sacrifices right now to save your relationship...good luck. i feel for you, man.
Art_Critic Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Sometimes we have to go thru the pain of a breakup to find out more about ourselves.. I know that has certainly been my findings with my past breakups.. It seems you have some financial issues that need to be addressed and it would be my guess that it would turn off any GF or girl you are seeing.. She is looking at you and thinking nothing but financial ruin in the cards for her.. You are working 3 jobs and going to file bankruptcy.. Why are you in such a money mess ? I think you need to look at this as a way to improve your life.. clean up your money issues and then get back into another relationship or maybe she will still be around at that time..
VIP Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 she'll go over to his house and stay for hours....which just rubs my jealous bone the wrong way. I do little things for her (supporting her is one of them). I bought her the new Iris Johannson book, cause I know she really likes her books...I've bought flowers, cards, took her to a movie...nothing. She doesnt even like it when I touch her anymore. She has moved on, so she should move out, to her new BF. She has a realtionship with him and using you to provide for her, that is not fair. She is using you, because she knows that you still have feeling for her. You shouldn't allow that.
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