nczyoung1 Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 My breakup story is very long. It is very complicated. But all I know now is that I am left with an empty soul. I do not know who to listen to. I do not know what feelings to pursue. I guess you can categorize my story as the typical high school relationship. I am young. Just turned 18 this past summer. So i am having a lot of difficulty coping with this. This is going to be the first time i have ever spilled out my story, but I just have to get it out. When I was 16, i met this girl named Lilian, who was 14 at the time. Throughout my life, I have never been the guy who pursues women. I guess you can say im shy, but my close friends say that I dont have a reason to be shy. They say that I am very good-looking and have a great personality, but never have i used that to "chase" women around. So at my cousin's wedding I was introduced to this girl, Lilian. She was very friendly and an overall good person. There were rumors that she was interested in a close personal friend of mine, but things happened and they never got together. The night of the wedding, we danced the night away and she gave me her phone number. I never had the intention of calling her because that was just not the person I was. Remember, I was shy. But somehow, we ended up talking on the phone. The problem was, I lived in North Carolina and she lived in Washington D.C. I never talked on the phone with anyone the way i conversed with her. She seemed to enjoy my lame jokes and I enjoyed her witty personality. As the months rolled on, I was finally able to go see her. For nearly three months, we were apart of a smooth relationship. And then, my personal friend became involved. His name is Jason. He is actually my uncle, but no longer do i look at him like that. He is only a year older than me though. He started talking with her online and occasionally on the phone. Me, being the stupid but nice guy that I am, did not think much of it. Sooner or later, I started to see signs that showed Lilian's interest in Jason. She would sometimes lie to me, telling me that she would go to sleep, but when I would get online, she would be talkin to him. Little things like that. Finally, I decided enough was enough and I told her to either stop talking with him or end our relationship. She decided to stay with me. For 1 year and 9 months everything went smoothly more or less. Of course there were the small fights here and there, but we always got past those incidences. The thing about those fights were that they somehow involved Jason. I would always drive up to D.C. to visit her every other weekend. Jason and I never spoke due to the hostility due to Lilian's presence. Now it was June of 07 and i just graduated high school. I was 100% convinced that Lilian was going to be the girl that I would marry. I believe she felt the same way. I would always compare our relationship to the like of Corey and Topanga from "Boy Meets World." No one could satisfy me the way that she did. In the end of June a whole group planned to meet for a collective graduation party in D.C. The list included myself, Lilian and unfortunately Jason. Since we were family there was no way that we could avoid him and I was most defintely not going to let him be there with her alone. We went to the party and all seemed well. But when I asked to play with Lilian's cell phone she became a little defensive. I knew something was fishy. Once i got her phone, I found several text messages between Jason and Lilian prior to the party. This was the last straw. I decided to break up with her. My entire family was their and they all supported my decision. Lilian begged for me to get back with her, but I declined. Then, only a few days later, I find out that she is with Jason. My entire world fell apart. Even though I broke up with her, I still loved her and would never expect her to go out with him. This occurrence caused an entire family feud which still stands today. Now I am left without a heart. I really dont know why everything is the way it is. I broke up with Lilian even though i know, to this very day, that I love her, but I did not want her to go out with Jason. All of the fights occurred because he was trying to break us up, but she wouldnt believe that. Now I feel like he has won. I have lost the power to love anyone. No longer do I have that upbeat personality that my friends enjoyed. I am alone. and i do not know how to cope. Is this one of those high school love stories that i'm supposed to get over? I just dont know because I feel like I can never love anyone as much as I loved Lilian. I tried to listen to the words of my parents and loved ones, but nobody's advice seems to help. Where am i to go?
fabulousgal Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Wow. First let me say you sound like a winner. Please do not let this relationship jade you too much in your future ones. You being able to devote effort and time at such a young age and in an LDR, you are very mature for your true age it seems. I also like the fact you have a backbone and stood up for yourself when you felt Lillian was crossing the line. Your ex on the other hand doesn't seem to be so mature. She sounds like a hs girl, confused and liking the attention she is getting without thinking through the consequences. You want to be with someone who considers how their actions impact you. Texting/IM'ing/flirting/then dating your "Uncle" doesn't sound like she is considering you and your feelings very much. She jumped from one boy to the next, probably because of the attention. I am not doubting that she loves you or cared about you, I simply think she is too young or naive to understand what that means and the dedication it entails. Let her go. You have the whole world in front of you. Your upbeat personality will come back in time, you are going through a loss and its normal to feel plain crummy. Just relax, I know you may not believe it when I say it, but you will meet someone in the future who you will love dearly, and will appreciate your dedication and efforts.
SuperHands Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I'm feeling for you, i really am. From personal experience i know that just because you are the one that breaks up with someone, doesn't mean that you should be totally cool with it and not heart broken. The fact that you have finished it, shows you have strength. I agree with fabulous. You should let her go. When I get into the dilemma of whether I will feel anything for anyone again, I take the example of my sister who lived with a guy she loved very much for 2 years. He left her and she went through hell, thinking she'd never meet someone again. Now she is married, with a young baby daughter and i've never seen her so happy. You should also keep in mind that it is true that you will never meet anyone like her again. You will meet someone different and you will fall in love with them a different way. Hang in there and keep coming back here to post. It's helping me big time.
Author nczyoung1 Posted May 22, 2010 Author Posted May 22, 2010 Yeah so i was most definitely over her a long asss time ago. I have been in the best relationship ever for the past two years. Im so happy now that ive found my soulmate.
FearandLoathing Posted May 23, 2010 Posted May 23, 2010 That is awesome news! It gives me hope as well haha
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