Markopolo Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Hello to all the wonderful people here on love shack. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, I can say I haved learned so much from many of you. My story is really pretty basic. I treated my ex rotten for many many years. Ignored her belittled her and simply was not there when she needed me most. I was a very very selffish man. My life came befor hers at all costs. Im not sure where my original post is but you can do a quick search and find it easily. The time finally came and my ex had enough and walked, I was completly crushed and did not see it comming. I begged I pleaded I became a "WUSSY" yup that was me. I know now that over the period of our relationship that I had changed I drifted from the man she loved to the man she dispised. I wont go into details for that is another story for another time. Just know that i became too comfortable with my relationship and took it for granted. So now almost a year since the breakup and 6 months after she finally moved out we are talking again. She says shes miserable and such but mostly with life. The talking again was triggered by summer bithdays and my new now ex gf. A note about the new ex, she is the one that actually made me realize how terrible i actually was, by treating me the way i treated the other, she also made me realize that i still and always will love the women i am writing about. Now we text eachother every few days not much just friendly chat, we have had lunch and breakfast out together and even have mad eachother dinner. We never bring up the relationship and i think she knows how I feel, she tells mutual friends that she still has Strong feelings for me. She asks me to visit her at work so we can visit. We send eachother funnies and laugh. I know we need to be friends to have a happy relationship but im just not sure what to do at this point. Im not sure rather to pursue her or run. I am sure many think I should walk away but thats what I did to make her leave. If i stop now i feel I will only justify her decision. Thanks in advance Mark
Mike1966 Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I'm far from an expert but will give you my $.02. Why would you want to run?? Don't you trust yourself with her again? Are you afraid you'll fall into the same old habits and don't want to hurt her again? Are you afraid she doesn't want you for more than a friend? I guess I'm a little confused by your post. Maybe I'm oversimplifying things, but, if you care for her and have feelings why wouldn't you try to give it another shot??
Author Markopolo Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 Its not that I want to run or am afaird of anything. I trust myself and I know I have changed. More so I am curious about, how do I know if a second chance even exists. See NC for me is proff that im still the sae old guy, at the same time being at her beck and call is something I feel i should not do. Something is still there but how do i find it how to get her to find it. Mark
DH27 Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 i know exactly what you are talking about, as i was in the same boat... i know you feel that if you two could be together again you would be able to make everything right, because you now see that she is in fact more important than you, and you just want to make her happy. this is exactly how i feel with my ex that i trying to make work. my situation is slightly different though because we have been broken up for 2 months and in that time her interest in me has faded, so im working on lighting a spark in her for me, because i think i have a shot at having her see me as the guy she fell in love with in the beginning. but anyway back to you. i believe that you should show her that you have changed, that you have made a mistake. dont be a WUSSY though...that was my fault and it drove her away from me. but i do think you should show her that you are a new man. dont just say it, you need to show it. but how to do this im not sure.
Aintayankee Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 get counseling, to garauntee you don't hurt her again. It happens too often. You gotta do more. It is a classic, and you have to ensure that you never take her for granted again.
jmargel Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 get counseling, to garauntee you don't hurt her again. It happens too often. You gotta do more. It is a classic, and you have to ensure that you never take her for granted again. I agree.. And let her know you are doing this. Just take things slow, and show her that you have become a changed person for good.
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