should i send it or not?

[tikster]

ok. so i wrote the post "wow and i thought the pain was over" i decided to torture myself and look at his pictures again, i kno stupid me. as expected i feel really low now. so i wanted to write him and tell him how i feel about this situation. this i what i wrote. could you guys let me know if its ok to send. i have to see him often and im not really angry w/ him yet not happy with him either, plus we have to see eachother often. so i need him to understand where im coming from, ya know? well here it is:

 

"omg u have pictures of her all over the place! what the hell am i doing with you? i kno that we continuously go over this, but i don't think you realize how much the thought of u two together makes me sick to my stomach. i can't believe that u still had feelings for me when u just broke up w me n started dating this chick in a nanosecond. u can't just replace someone u have feelings for, so that's how i knew that u never cared. everyone thinks i'm stupid for even talking to you and perhaps i guess i proved them right. they keep telling me to have some respect for myself, so i guess i'm considered a slut now. this whole situation is all wrong and i'm sure that ur annoyed by all of this by now, but u won't understand how i feel until u are in my place. in the moments when we are together (@ work! lame) all is good, but when i leave work i can't see u till i go into work next weekend, i don't feel good bout myself. I can't give you the chance to do the same thing to me again. believe it or not, it will hurt me just as bad when i'm replaced, yet again w someone else. i see my friends and their relationships and they have never had to go through anything that i have had to do with you. i know this sounds stupid, but it hurts that nobody really wants me. u don't know what's happened to me in my childhood. otherwise u'd understand why i need to know that i'm not being used.so i guess i just need to be alone instead of just giving myself away. i'm sorry i pissed u off, yet again im sure, but really try to understand where i'm coming from. i can't be intimate w/ u n then listen to u talk about all these other girls, whatever... i'm jealous that's obviously my problem and that's why i probably shouldn't get close to you. go ahead and make fun of me w ur friends, but at least u can't say that i never told you how i really feel."

[get.mos]

send it if you think it leads you to the path of getting better. otherwise don't.

 

i have to say, i couldn't even read the entire thing: there's so much anger, pain, and unfinished business on your part.

[Spinderella]

it depends on what result you are looking for.

i dont think its going to change your situation for the better, in any way.

youre trying to force him to see the error of his ways, but, that really never works. its helpful sometimes to write these things out for ourselves, but i really think you would feel much better about this situation and yourself and be alot more effective, if you kept control of yourself.

the best way that you can tell him that you really find his behaviour intolerable is to have absolutely nothing more to do with him. dont speak to him, dont give him the time of day, nothing.

you sound angry with the situation that you are in. you dont like the situation you are in. shouting at the situation does not change it. if you dont like it get out of it.

its hard yes. harder being here though, by the sounds of it.

[tikster]

haha yea thnx guys. after my little tantrum i guess i got all i had to say out and that's what i needed. on my drive to class i was like "im soo glad thatt i didn't send that".

[Spinderella]

good, glad you thought better of it. its good to get it out though, but when you get that urge to tell him about it, just wait, or post here, and get other people to talk you out of it.

you will be feeling better soon enough.