spookie Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 At this point I don't want my ex back at all. It's been almost half a year since I last saw him and I pray that I never run into him again. I'm doing great, I'm happy, I'm meeting lots of new people. I even have a love interest that is slowly turning into more, and from what I can tell this guy is much better for me than my ex (and makes me far happier). But anyway. The ex still has a bunch of my things. They didn't seem important enough for me to contact him over at first, but now that I am in a happier place I am annoying that I'm going to have to replace them unless he gives them back. Total value is probably $100 - $200, but it's all things I NEED. My funnest toys and some of my favorite clothes. I emailed him a few days ago about this, keeping it VERY short (one sentence), and he hasn't responded. I know he'd checked the email. WTF. That's just so inconsiderate. It's MY STUFF. If he responded with a short note about how he'd given it away, I'd understand... but to completely ignore me just makes me MAD. What should I do? A part of me really wants to send him a nasty follow-up... I never really got to give him my piece of mind while we were breaking up, even though he was a VERY inconsiderate jerk and did a lot to **** me over. What should I do? Wait it out, let it go, or get madder?
Msblueyes Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 If you're in a happier state of mind. $100-$200 worth of replaceable things is better to let go. Forget him. I'm in the midst of a break up at the moment and not very good at it, and went through so much money I had to file bankruptcy...let it go and keep going forward.
Spinderella Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I agree. Let it go. Send another email and he doesnt respond and you'll feel even more irritated. Its annoying, but it sounds like it would be even more annoying to keep dealing with him.
bloodaye Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 hey 100-200$ ? That isnt even worth thinking about,my GF left me with nothing,took my flat screen my bed and everything else under the sun but the couch and it was all mine! I dont give a rats ass about that crap,she can have it,so what ur aching about is ludacris,forget it, u cant b that happy if ur still thinking about miniscule items like that esp after such a long time,sounds like an excuse to get in touch to me.
Tony T Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 At this point I don't want my ex back at all. It's been almost half a year since I last saw him and I pray that I never run into him again. I'm doing great, I'm happy, I'm meeting lots of new people. I even have a love interest that is slowly turning into more, and from what I can tell this guy is much better for me than my ex (and makes me far happier). But anyway. The ex still has a bunch of my things. They didn't seem important enough for me to contact him over at first, but now that I am in a happier place I am annoying that I'm going to have to replace them unless he gives them back. Total value is probably $100 - $200, but it's all things I NEED. My funnest toys and some of my favorite clothes. I emailed him a few days ago about this, keeping it VERY short (one sentence), and he hasn't responded. I know he'd checked the email. WTF. That's just so inconsiderate. It's MY STUFF. If he responded with a short note about how he'd given it away, I'd understand... but to completely ignore me just makes me MAD. What should I do? A part of me really wants to send him a nasty follow-up... I never really got to give him my piece of mind while we were breaking up, even though he was a VERY inconsiderate jerk and did a lot to **** me over. What should I do? Wait it out, let it go, or get madder? Have an attorney write to him...or write to him yourself, snail mail, asking him when the best day and time would be for your to have a representative come to his place to get your things. Let him know if he doesn't respond in a timely manner then you will file suit in small claims court and ask for your things plus monetary damages.
Author spookie Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 hey 100-200$ ? That isnt even worth thinking about,my GF left me with nothing,took my flat screen my bed and everything else under the sun but the couch and it was all mine! I dont give a rats ass about that crap,she can have it,so what ur aching about is ludacris,forget it, u cant b that happy if ur still thinking about miniscule items like that esp after such a long time,sounds like an excuse to get in touch to me. It's not an excuse to get in touch. If that were the case I would have done this months ago, when I still missed him. I am SO HAPPY right now, my throat is actually sore from laughing so hard for so many days. I don't want him back; I had no intention of even seeing him - I would have had my best friend pick the things up for me. I just cannot believe that anyone would IGNORE someone they were so close with for so long especially regarding such a normal request. It just seems like bad manners. He has my limited edition scrabble board (a gift), my best friend's giant childhood bong, a bunch of other board games, a bunch of my favorite clothes, and bedding. Ughhhhh.
bloodaye Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 i didnt realize it was more of a sentimental attachment,then a monatary issue.
Art_Critic Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I see this as nothing more than a ploy to contact the ex..Which is what you just did by sending the email and now you are upset because he didn't reply or reply in a timely manner.. If you were really over him then you wouldn't care about 100 dollars worth of things.. A scrabble board can be repurchased.. A bong can be repurchased.. You haven't needed these things and all of a sudden you want the "Stuff" back.. This is why when you break up with someone you exchange the "Stuff" right away so you do not create the need to contact the other later.
bloodaye Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I agree with the above,but apparently these things hold some sort of sentimental value,but yeah,if u have gotten along fine with out them all this time and are so happy,these items shouldnt even b on ur brain.
Author spookie Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 I agree with the above,but apparently these things hold some sort of sentimental value,but yeah,if u have gotten along fine with out them all this time and are so happy,these items shouldnt even b on ur brain. They are on my brain because I'm hosting a party this weekend and it's supposed to be a stoned scrabble party, which means I need the games and the bong. I know I could find those things somewhere else but I'm at a point where I'm no longer afraid of the ex, so I just thought he could drop them off with my friend. I truly do not want to see him again. Anyway, last night I couldn't resist sending him some nasty correspondence. I know it was immature, but I treated him with nothing but respect for three years while he walked all over me, so it felt good to take easy stabs where I could, where I knew it'd hurt. Maybe that's wrong, but I'm past caring and I watned him to know I wasn't emailing just to reconnect. Stir some **** up, maybe - but certainly not get in touch/reconnect. I hate his guts. This is what I wrote: The bong I'm referring to isn't even mine, it's Chris' from his childhood or something, and he's been harassing me about getting it back from you for a while now. If you could drop off the remainder of my things (I think you also have some of the caving gear that I purchased, possibly some clothes, some bedding, and, of course, the best three years of college) with Chris, either at his apartment (he lives on 21st and San Gabriel) or at the RLM library, where he works, that'd be great. And FYI, I just want my **** back. This is not about reaching out or attempting to see you again; I hope I never do. The only feelings I have left for you are those of contempt, hate, and anger, and if you don't understand why, it's because you're a self-centered moron. One who sucks at singing, really sucks in bed, and reallllly sucks at writing. Suck on that. I don't care that it sounds like I'm 12; I don't care that he won't respond; this is my closure.
Author spookie Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 you're not over it. I'm not over having wasted 3 years of my life on him, no, but I certainly do not want him back.
a4a Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 You do realize he is probably laughing his ass off over your emails.
Art_Critic Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Maybe he is hosting a stoned scrabble party and he needs the board and bong Possession is 9/10 of the law.. the " Stuff " is now his.. You can't expect for him to give up what has now become his most fav bong after using it without you for 6 months. I know you hate him and are angry.. those are good emotions at this point but honestly let this stuff go.. it will be healthier for you.. Let the jerk play scrabble on a board that will remind him of you...
Art_Critic Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 When I got divorced after a 5 year marriage I got nothing but some bad memories and the lack of a ton and I mean a ton of money.. No pictures.. nothing...no belongings except clothes. she even took the air fresheners out of the wall sockets.. I lost things that were in my possession since I was a teen.. I bought new.. I moved on... At the time I figured eff her.. Let her have them.. they have me in them so they will just remind her me Today I could care a less still...
Author spookie Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 You do realize he is probably laughing his ass off over your emails. I laughed my ass off when I wrote them.
wwjd Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I laughed my ass off when I wrote them. well, good. sounds to me like what you truly wanted was to go off on him, much more so than to actually get those things back. i'm not saying this is bad, btw. if anything, it can be a good thing to finally tell him the angry words you resisted saying before. so long as the "feel better" feeling of doing so actually lasts and you don't look back, thinking "oh, why did i do such a thing?" then it's all fine. just leave things as they are, spook. if you email him anymore, whether it be a reply to something he may say or not, in the long run it'll most likely only make you feel silly and immature. plus, the truth is that at this point, trying to be hurtful may be useless because he might not care anymore for what you have to say, in which case i'd say that he's more over the entire situation than you. i'm sure you're over him in that you don't want him back, but it doesn't sound like you're over what both you and he did to yourselves because if you were, then you wouldn't have the desire of sending these types of emails. it's not so much about "taking the high road" or anything, but about truly not caring, which is indifference, and hate is far from it. when things ended for me, i also, at one point, wanted my things. in my case, i had left many, many things, none of which had any real emotional value, but were pricey. i left behind 3 videogame systems, many, many videogames, a vintage record player, old records (some of these i still haven't found again), movies, CDs, and an MP3 player that cost $350 alone, plus a bunch of clothes. sadly, my losses where in the in 4 figures, so it was quite a lot. i wanted them back partly because they were mine and partly because i was angry and wanted to "show him" i didn't want him to have my things. in the end, i just left it as it was. none of that stuff is worth rehashing hurtful memories. not even my old pink floyd records.
Author spookie Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 well, good. sounds to me like what you truly wanted was to go off on him, much more so than to actually get those things back. i'm not saying this is bad, btw. if anything, it can be a good thing to finally tell him the angry words you resisted saying before. so long as the "feel better" feeling of doing so actually lasts and you don't look back, thinking "oh, why did i do such a thing?" then it's all fine. just leave things as they are, spook. if you email him anymore, whether it be a reply to something he may say or not, in the long run it'll most likely only make you feel silly and immature. plus, the truth is that at this point, trying to be hurtful may be useless because he might not care anymore for what you have to say, in which case i'd say that he's more over the entire situation than you. i'm sure you're over him in that you don't want him back, but it doesn't sound like you're over what both you and he did to yourselves because if you were, then you wouldn't have the desire of sending these types of emails. it's not so much about "taking the high road" or anything, but about truly not caring, which is indifference, and hate is far from it. when things ended for me, i also, at one point, wanted my things. in my case, i had left many, many things, none of which had any real emotional value, but were pricey. i left behind 3 videogame systems, many, many videogames, a vintage record player, old records (some of these i still haven't found again), movies, CDs, and an MP3 player that cost $350 alone, plus a bunch of clothes. sadly, my losses where in the in 4 figures, so it was quite a lot. i wanted them back partly because they were mine and partly because i was angry and wanted to "show him" i didn't want him to have my things. in the end, i just left it as it was. none of that stuff is worth rehashing hurtful memories. not even my old pink floyd records. That really sucks. My losses pale in comparison to yours. Is there any way you can get any of those things back without having to see him? Of course I am going to let this go now. To be honest, my main motivation for emailing him WAS to get the anger off my chest. I had been so reserved about expressing dissatisfaction, contempt, and anger while we were together and shortly thereafter (though he truly deserved it) for fear of permanently pissing him off that it felt good to finally let him know how I really feel. There's no going back now and I feel freer now that I know my side of the bridge is burnt as well (it should have caught on fire while he was burning his).
ijustwannago Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 you so honest!!! but i gotta say...."He has my limited edition scrabble board (a gift), my best friend's giant childhood bong, a bunch of other board games...." THAT SUCKS!!!!
Author spookie Posted September 27, 2007 Author Posted September 27, 2007 He replied: I think you need to grow up. =) Condescending motherf*c*er. I am RAGING inside... all the negative emotions that I associate with being with him have reawakened. I am literally shaking with rage. How do you explain to someone what an ********* they are, how much they've wronged you? He really seems to have absolved himself of everything that happened. That's what gets to me - there are burdens that I am going to have to carry FOREVER out of this relationship, and he can just shrug everything away. If it was a typical first-love breakup, I would have let it go. I'm not psycho, I promise, although he did like to make me feel that way. But it wasn't... he manipulated me, lying straight through his teeth, into a couple of big decisions that are going to have lifetime repercussions for me. He knew what he was doing, it was completely intentional. And very manipulative. He knew just where my soft spots were, and he used my love for him to get his way. I understand that people have to put their own best interests ahead of other's, but to just shrug off the damage you inflict on someone in the process as "life" is messed up, in my opinion. I think he owes me an apology.
Spinderella Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 He may owe you an apology, but, he clearly is not going to give you one. It just seems like a pointless battle thats only going to wind you up and make you feel worse.
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 This is why NC is the only way to fly.. NC stops you from getting in situations where you expect them to act a certain way and they don't.. pissing you off.. Sorry Spookie.. he is an idiot.. and he will never give you the apology to deserve.. they never do...
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