precious1357 Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I have been seeing MM for about a year. We've known each other awhile, we have great fun, along with up and downs of course. The thing is, I want to wait for my 16 year to turn 18 before I get married again. I love him so much and we have a great relationship...am I just crazy or nuts???
TogetherForever Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I have been seeing MM for about a year. We've known each other awhile, we have great fun, along with up and downs of course. The thing is, I want to wait for my 16 year to turn 18 before I get married again. I love him so much and we have a great relationship...am I just crazy or nuts??? Precious, He's going to divorce his wife & marry you right away? TF
bish Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 am I just crazy or nuts??? Are you nuts?...dunno...ask his wife and see what she thinks.
Touche Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Nuts isn't the word that comes to mind...delusional, yes. You seem pretty sure that he's going to marry you. And ewwww:sick: why would you even want to marry a liar and a cheater anyway?
norajane Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I think you said in one of your posts that the MM has been married for 40 years? My guess is you won't have to worry about him leaving his wife and wanting to marry you any time soon. Has he talked about filing for divorce, and where he would live when he left his wife?
Impudent Oyster Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I have been seeing MM for about a year. ....... The thing is, I want to wait for my 16 year to turn 18 before I get married again. Is bigamy legal where you live?
Cobra_X30 Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Is bigamy legal where you live? It's only technically illegal! So long as all parties involved consent to the situation that law can't be enforced.
SoxPrincess Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I have been seeing MM for about a year. We've known each other awhile, we have great fun, along with up and downs of course. The thing is, I want to wait for my 16 year to turn 18 before I get married again. I love him so much and we have a great relationship...am I just crazy or nuts??? I'm confused; are you saying you have to wait for your 16 yr old to turn 18 so you can remarry or are you staying married and getting married to your MM too? Are you positive that your MM plans on marrying you or has he just told you that? Has he left his W and if not, has he shown you legal papers that he is in the process of getting divorced? If he isn't already divorced or shown you something on paper that it's "in the works", you are likely setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Very few MM leave their wives for the OW, many of them TELL the OW that they will..but very, very few actually do. My advice to you is that he isn't getting a divorce (again, that you have seen on paper), tell him that you can't continue with the relationship until he makes a decision about what he wants in his life. If he is serious about wanting to marry you, he'll be fine with the separation until he gets his divorce. If he blows up and refuses to be pressured, you can likely be assured he was never going to marry you anyway and you can move on with your life.
rocketpixie Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 You sound like you care about him. Has he set a date for the divorce? Does he have concrete plans for a future relationship with you? Are you currently married and getting divorced? Perhaps it would be a good idea to establish a relationship with him before marrying him. From what I hear, dating a MM as a single guy is always different than dating him as a MM.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Crazy or nuts? Its not unusual to be crazy and nuts in love with someone. It is crazy and nuts to be planning a wedding with someone who is already married, and shows no signs of leaving. When he shows you divorce papers, and a lease on his new place - then you can start thinking about your wedding. Until then, I think the cruelest thing you can do to yourself is plan a future with someone based on nothing but false hope and wishful thinking.
Ocean-Blue Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I have been seeing MM for about a year. We've known each other awhile, we have great fun, along with up and downs of course. The thing is, I want to wait for my 16 year to turn 18 before I get married again. I love him so much and we have a great relationship...am I just crazy or nuts??? A little bit of both. What makes you think he'll leave his family for you. And what makes you think he's not going to cheat on you (should the two of you become exclusive). HE IS MARRIED. HE CHEATED. YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN. HE WILL SCREW YOU OVER. Time for a reality pill.
PoshPrincess Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Nuts isn't the word that comes to mind...delusional, yes. Been there - the 'delusional' bit I mean. My MM talked about us marrying all the time. I can't believe I could have been so gullible. Never say never (only in my case as it WILL be never!) but try not to think about marrying someone who is already married to someone else. Chances are you're going to end up disappointed. Until we know your whole sitch though, I don't suppose we can really comment. Give us some details, ie whether he is still living with his W or separated... Thanks.
Author precious1357 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 MM still living with wife. She sees me and rolls her eyes, she called me, asked me a bunch of questions, his adult children questioned him about other people seeing him around me. its been pretty difficult. i don't know, i know for a fact that he has never done this before. i'm a widow and I just want to wait until my child turns 18 before i make any changes so therefore i'm NOT PUSHING for him to get a "quick" divorce. its very difficult to explain.
Author precious1357 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 what is all of the "meanness" for????
Touche Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Where did you see any "meaness?" I didn't see it. You asked a question and we all answered honestly. Anyway if you feel like you have to "push" for him to get divorced, you should know that this means you can push all you want but he's not leaving his wife. So the wife questioned you? Did you tell her the truth or did you lie to her too? Am I being mean or am I trying to get you to see the reality of the situation here? I think deep down you know this really is nuts. You're going to end up getting hurt. No one wants to see that.
Impudent Oyster Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 i'm NOT PUSHING for him to get a "quick" divorce. Do you really think you can push him to divorce his wife? You've got a lot to learn, I suggest you start reading a lot of OW boards. I suggest gloryb.com, see how many OW who were promised marriage got left in the lurch. Just about all of them. How many MM say they're going to divorce? Almost all. How many do get divorced? Almost none. Watch and learn precious, watch and learn.
SoxPrincess Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 what is all of the "meanness" for???? The intent of my message was certainly not to come across as mean and none of the other replies seem mean either. Perhaps they aren't what you want to hear, but my advice was what I thought was best for YOU; to keep YOU sane. I realize there has been a lot of hate and responses that are truly mean on this forum lately, but I don't think your thread is one of them at all.
whichwayisup Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Hate to tell ya this, he isn't going to leave his wife. I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt it...
GreenEyedLady Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 what is all of the "meanness" for???? Some people have nothing better to do than tear others down...But if you're happy, you shouldn't even care...
outofdarkness Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 Are you nuts?...dunno...ask his wife and see what she thinks. LOL..got a chuckle out of you post! ood
bish Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 what is all of the "meanness" for???? You sleep with someone elses husband, and YOU are asking "what is all the meanness for????" ????
bish Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 Some people have nothing better to do than tear others down...But if you're happy, you shouldn't even care... Funny....she can help to "tear down" a BW. And yes...if she is happy....she shouldn't care who she hurts...long as she gets hers right?
KATANYA Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.............................. Don't want to take away from the topic but I'm relatively new to this site compared to many of you and I just wanted to make sure the title and the 'PURPOSE' statement of this forum hasn't changed. Hence, I've put it up above. I've just noticed a lot of posts lately where the OW is really not getting any advice/support but a whole lot of criticism, judgment and, to be honest, some really sarcastic and disrespectful slurs.......sorry if I am out of line here but I know I don't come on this site to be called down or bashed and I'm sure others didn't either........... For what its worth Precious, if you believe your MM that he will marry you and if the W and kids are all aware of your relationship with MM, maybe the two of you need to sit down and make a plan as to how this will unfold...You have two years to get things in order and, because he has been married for so long I'm sure this will not be a "quick" divorce regardless if you asked for it or not. Why not see if he is willing to start his process while you are finishing up your parenting duties over the next two years. He could be free and clear of his present situation at the same time as you are free from yours and then you can both move forward. Plus, it would give YOU the answers you need as to whether or not you are planning a wedding in a few years or just planning to be in the kind of relationship you are in. Maybe your MM is one of the few (but there are some) who really do want to have more than a woman on the side and he is ready to make plans to end his situation and start a life with you. You really do deserve to know that and actions do speak louder than words.
PoshPrincess Posted September 26, 2007 Posted September 26, 2007 MM still living with wife. She sees me and rolls her eyes, she called me, asked me a bunch of questions, his adult children questioned him about other people seeing him around me. its been pretty difficult. i don't know, i know for a fact that he has never done this before. i'm a widow and I just want to wait until my child turns 18 before i make any changes so therefore i'm NOT PUSHING for him to get a "quick" divorce. its very difficult to explain. Has he told you he wants to leave his W and marry you? Precious, sometimes what people say on here comes off harsh but the majority are just telling it like it is. There are some very bitter (understandably?) BSs on here but like I say, most people want to give the benefit of their experience, good or bad. Please don't stop posting because of this. You WILL get some excellent advice. I know I did.
Author precious1357 Posted September 26, 2007 Author Posted September 26, 2007 KATANYA Thanks so much (crying) because I'm not looking for anyone to condone my actions. I'm in a difficult situation more so because I do believe in God and the results of my sinful actions...we really do love each other and I'm over 50 years and do not want to be alone like my mother, trust me there are very very few decent men over 50 and I did not get into this to hurt ANYONE...its all so hard and we've tried the nc did not work for a longer than a couple of hours. I've left town for 4 days, didn't work, I missed him so much, just talking to him is very very soothing...he has not made love in more than 5 years, his wife said that's not what God would have for them...trust me, this is real real crazy. Thanks again Katanya!
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