fray718 Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 So due to traumas of the past and being recently heartbroken, I'm now petrified of dating! I met this guy online and we talked on the phone and met once and we clicked and I like him and I think he likes me too. After the meeting we talked via IM and he wanted to hang out again and i was like ok cool when? He then paused and said 'just curious, what are you looking for...friends, dates, bf?' I got nervous with the question and took me awhile to type it out...then finally i said 'honestly, im not ready to date, just looking for a friend and i thought u n I clicked'...then he said 'sounds good to me' but then I can tell he suddenly lost interest, no mention of hanging out again Has this happend to anyone before? Did the fear eventually go away? Did you do anything to make it get better quicker? I'm currently so scared of getting hurt again.
Krytie TV Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 You need to stop getting emotionally involved with people you barely know. That would be my suggestion. A healthy amount of an "I don't care" attitude goes a long way.
Author fray718 Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 Thanks for your reply. That's what everyone tells me as well. I just tend to get too emotional/attached when I barely know someone. I think I'm just born this way. Not sure who I can get the 'i dont care attitude' instilled in me...I've tried, but I end up being in denial because my emotions get the best of me =(.
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I get scared just like you, all the time. When a guy makes advances i close up even if i like them. But i believe it isnt the fear of dating, it's the sign you're not ready to move on just yet even though you might want to and might feel like you do. Just take time, heal whatever it is inside before taking more risks. Be careful with yourself x
Geoffrey Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 ...and that's tough for me because I'm a rather sensitive instrument
Author fray718 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 But i believe it isnt the fear of dating, it's the sign you're not ready to move on just yet even though you might want to and might feel like you do. Just take time, heal whatever it is inside before taking more risks. Be careful with yourself x Wow I agree. I'm still in the stages of healing and I guess the sad thing is when I was ready to date and ready for a bf I ended up dating guys who are NOT ready and freak out on me. But when now I'm not ready, I meet this guy who has been single for 2 years...and according to my friends, the fact that he asked what I was looking for meant that he wasn't just looking for fwb or for a fling and that he's looking for something more serious. And yea, the non-serious guys i dated never asked me such questions. When I wanted something serious, I only got non-serious guys. And now when I just want to be non-serious and play around, I meet someone who WANTS to be serious. Oh, the ironies of life. Sucks. haha
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