your star Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Hi Everyone, I find myself back after hitting another low dark spot. My original thread is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t121337/ To sum it up, I was in a long term relationship for 6 years the last year was long distance. His explanation for leaving was, he needed to clear his mind and sort his life. that he did not walk away from me to be with someone else, but he couldnt find happiness and didnt want me to suffer because of it. after 3 weeks of no contact right after the break up he popped back into my life and we had limited contact with a text message every few days. Earlier this mth business brought me to his town. He offered to meet me in the city to have lunch. A Week before I was to fly out there, he text me saying he couldnt go forth with it because it would break him to see me hurt. Since that text, I have not heard a word from in over 4 weeks. While I was in his town I found myself stuck with no way of getting back to my hotel. I wouldnt have called him unless it was important, trust me. I called and text him several times asking if he could at least get me the numbers of some cab services. I told him he didnt have to call me but at least send me the info through a text. He never responded and I was stuck for 2 hours. I was there a whole week and he knew it, but never even said a word to me. I came back to my hometown and have since been trying to cope with this. I tried making contact with him but had no luck still. A lot of people tell me the reason for the disappearing is because he can't face up to the guilt and pain he has caused. When I thought I couldnt get my heart stomped on more, I did. I try my best to keep busy but there are those moments when my mind wonders how he can simply disappear and not care about someone he loved for 6 years. Why do people do this? My birthday is in October and I have this guilt feeling that is when he'll try and make contact
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I read your previous thread and this one, and I tell you, this guy is an inconsiderate a-hole. And there are people who do this kind of thing, cowardly as it is. All his actions point to the fact that he does not want anything to do with you now. His being snippy and abrupt with you earlier was a way of saying that. His not answering your messages this time is the same thing. He just cannot face upto you. To tell you that the long-distance is putting a pressure on him, and then starting it with another girl who's from another state...that just reeks of two-facedness. And with this fresh experience, I don't think you need any more proof about his intentions or his non-trustworthiness. To be honest, I don't think he'll call you for your birthday. I don't know, he might...but I have a feeling he won't. He's done with you and wouldn't want to face his guilt by being in touch with you in any manner. Your Star, it is very difficult to get over a long-term relationship. But you will get over it eventually. Just keep in mind that for you to move on, you will need to leave him and his thoughts behind. No more contacting him, even if you think he may be the best person to help. You don't need his help at all - you can manage just fine on your own. If he contacts you, no responding to his messages. He's not worth it.
Author your star Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 Thank you This_Too_Shall_Pass, everything you said was exactly what I needed to give me that extra push to keep moving forward. Sometimes I lose sight of why I'm better off without him. The thoughts of our memories come in my mind and I lose focus. I'm trying my very best to get through each day as best as I can.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 You're welcome, Your Star. I feel for you even more because I've been through a couple of the situations you mentioned. Especially the one about him deliberately not being reachable when you needed him. It's normal to go through the disbelief-anger-depression cycle, but you will definitely reach the stage of acceptance, too. Stay strong, and keep posting here whenever you feel like it.
Author your star Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 that's been the hardest part to deal with, Him turning his back on me and not hearing from him in over a month. It's really sad to me considering the amount of time we were together. I definately would not have treated him that way. I think he just can't face me so that's why he ran.
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