Guys: What signs of affection do you respond best too?

[shadowplay]

If you're in a relatively new relationship with a girl, what signs of affection from her would melt your heart without scaring you off? Sorry if that was awkwardly worded, but i hope you get my drift. It could include any kind of physical, verbal or other gesture that shows she cares but doesn't seem too needy. I mean small things mostly, and please be as specific as possible. Also I'd love to hear from women as well about what has worked well for them with men.

[gman0hsev]

well i guess at the beginning i guess a hug and a kiss, her telling me how happy she is to be in a relationship with me.......... aww i made myself sad.......

[shadowplay]

well i guess at the beginning i guess a hug and a kiss, her telling me how happy she is to be in a relationship with me.......... aww i made myself sad.......

 

Aw...you're sooo cute.

 

 

I should clarify that I don't mean the very beginning of a relationship. Like you've already been intimate with the person for at least a month.

[Ocean-Blue]

It REALLY depends on the guy and the kind of connection you two have.

 

That said, here are some things you may want to try...(some may be obvious, but since you asked, I thought I'd list them anyway).

 

If he's mentioned a movie that he's interested in, then perhaps you could suggest watching it when he asks what movie you want to see (it shows him that you're listening and are interested in doing something he likes).

 

Compliment him (a genuine one of course). If he has nice eyes, say so. Sometimes I find guys get the short end of the stick where compliments are concerned.

 

Cook for him. If he likes food, why not cook for him. Or if he's a big fan of cake, take him a slice of that heavenly cake you baked (just for him!).

 

A foot massage! This does wonders. If you two are hanging out and he's had a long day or something (and is a little stressed or just needs to chill out)...you might want to gently suggest a foot massage. It shows him you care and the he'll love you for it. I find guys LOVE to be pampered (again, something he may not be used to). Give him a pedicure. Or maybe give him a massage.

 

Going to a game with him. If he's a sports fan, chances are he'll be impressed with a girl that wants to accompany him to a game. If he's into video games, play with him.

 

The common theme here is to do something to show that you are interested in exploring his interests, that you understand he has needs of his own (ones which are not just sexual), and that you care enough to do little nice things for him.

 

It's always the little stuff that counts.

 

EDIT: I noticed you said you are intimate. If that's the case, the next time you are intimate, make it about him. Focus on him - SHOW him how much you want him. I don't think I need to tell you how this will make him feel (like you want to be there with him and are completely taken with pleasing him). Chances are, you'll end up a very happy girl at the end of it.

[shadowplay]

It REALLY depends on the guy and the kind of connection you two have.

 

That said, here are some things you may want to try...(some may be obvious, but since you asked, I thought I'd list them anyway).

 

If he's mentioned a movie that he's interested in, then perhaps you could suggest watching it when he asks what movie you want to see (it shows him that you're listening and are interested in doing something he likes).

 

Compliment him (a genuine one of course). If he has nice eyes, say so. Sometimes I find guys get the short end of the stick where compliments are concerned.

 

Cook for him. If he likes food, why not cook for him. Or if he's a big fan of cake, take him a slice of that heavenly cake you baked (just for him!).

 

A foot massage! This does wonders. If you two are hanging out and he's had a long day or something (and is a little stressed or just needs to chill out)...you might want to gently suggest a foot massage. It shows him you care and the he'll love you for it. I find guys LOVE to be pampered (again, something he may not be used to). Give him a pedicure. Or maybe give him a massage.

 

Going to a game with him. If he's a sports fan, chances are he'll be impressed with a girl that wants to accompany him to a game. If he's into video games, play with him.

 

The common theme here is to do something to show that you are interested in exploring his interests, that you understand he has needs of his own (ones which are not just sexual), and that you care enough to do little nice things for him.

 

It's always the little stuff that counts.

 

EDIT: I noticed you said you are intimate. If that's the case, the next time you are intimate, make it about him. Focus on him - SHOW him how much you want him. I don't think I need to tell you how this will make him feel (like you want to be there with him and are completely taken with pleasing him). Chances are, you'll end up a very happy girl at the end of it.

 

Thanks for the advice! I hadn't thought of the one about cooking, but that's something I'd definitely love to do for him.

 

Could you be more specific about how to make it about him when you're intimate? I know it's a bit graphic, but I'm curious.

[gman0hsev]

lol thanks for the ego boost. OH and you guys are intimate? That changes it then, maybe not the hugs and kisses cause hopefully you are doing that already. Ummmmmm I guess anything short of saying I love you........

[MystifiedByMen]

I think guys respond best to any kind of small touch. When you're talking with them, you touch them on the leg, arm, hand. I have used this to my advantage ALOT! For you bartenders out there, just touching the guys had when you give his change back increases your nightly tips by 20%. It's a proven fact. Touching makes such a huge impact on people.

 

With that said, I'm not a perv. lol.. I'm a business major, econ minor, and will be doing and indpendent study on body language. That's how I know these things!

[Krytie TV]

Geez, absolutely anything that shows she gives a crap about anything I care about would be a good start. It's surprisingly hard to come by in the women I have been choosing lately.

[shoesies05]

One thing that I think most guys love, and this has been true for me :

 

is when i ask them to teach me something they are really great at, or are really interested in...

 

It makes them feel smart, it shows them that you are interested in what they love, it gives them an ego boost, plus it connects you both more and give you more to talk about.

 

Say he's a sport guy, like even just sitting down with him to watch a football game and like getting into it and asking about the game and stuff { but not too much if they are really into it} is nice.

 

Or if they are into electronics, like building computers: ask him to show u how its done... and stuff like that.

 

or if he like paintball/ shooting/ w/e : ask him to take you soemtime and show u the ropes.

 

it'll bond u two and be a nice memory.

[Poboy]

If you're in a relatively new relationship with a girl, what signs of affection from her would melt your heart without scaring you off? Sorry if that was awkwardly worded, but i hope you get my drift. It could include any kind of physical, verbal or other gesture that shows she cares but doesn't seem too needy. I mean small things mostly, and please be as specific as possible. Also I'd love to hear from women as well about what has worked well for them with men.

 

she plans out outings , dates etc now and then.

she gives me space and is not too intrusive in my life.

she is not shy but has good confidence about herself and when with me.

 

dream woman : she gets me beer during games , then we get to have sex and then i can go to sleep

 

 

I'm a business major, econ minor, and will be doing and indpendent study on body language. That's how I know these things!

 

i want to be part of this study , where do i sign up

[bish]

I respond to a smile and loving look right into my eyes after a nice soft kiss.

 

Also, kisses on the neck...nibbling on the ear.

[lino]

Hi shadowplay, hope things are going well for you

Sorry to go OT but I remember you calling yourself a 'social retard', doesn't seem that way to me. From what you've written in your threads I think you're doing ok.

 

For me it's anything that shows she genuinely cares for me. Specific examples?

I respond to a smile and loving look right into my eyes after a nice soft kiss.

 

Also, kisses on the neck...nibbling on the ear.

 

This is good.

 

I like being gently touched & caressed alot. Being hugged from behind too, especially if she's sitting behind me but a little higher up then tilts back my head & kisses me from there (hope it makes sense)

A back massage never goes wrong with me either.

Cooking for me is a big winner too.

 

In bed I agree with the person who said to make it all about the guy. For me alot of eye contact is great, especially when a girl is giving me head. Alot of teasing is really good too. Kisses all over the neck, chest & back are also great. Heaps of touching in general too & I like to see her touch herself as well as me.

 

I'd like to hear the opposite too, like what the girls like guys to do for them.

[shadowplay]

Hi shadowplay, hope things are going well for you

Sorry to go OT but I remember you calling yourself a 'social retard', doesn't seem that way to me. From what you've written in your threads I think you're doing ok.

 

Hi, Lino. Thanks, I appreciate it. You seem like a sweetheart yourself. How are things going for you on the love front?

[shadowplay]

I'd like to hear the opposite too, like what the girls like guys to do for them.

 

I guarantee ths will melt any woman's heart:

 

1) Tell her she's beautiful every day.

2) Be affectionate in public. Hold her hand, put your hand around her waist, even kiss her occasionally on the lips. This sends the message that you're proud of her.

3) Smile a lotwhen you're making out and make lots of eye contact.

4) Cuddle with her in bed every morning.

5) Make some noise when you're having sex so she knows she's pleasing you.

6) Never, I repeat, never look at other women when she's around.

7) Show interest in her interests and her life. Ask her questions about herself.

8) Call when you say you will and call her every day. I can't stress the importance of this.

[Ocean-Blue]

I'd like to hear the opposite too, like what the girls like guys to do for them.

 

One could write a book on this.

 

As a girl, these are some things I like...

 

A man who loves to listen. When I tell a story, I like to know that he's listening (that he's engaged). Feedback is also a wonderful thing (not just sitting there like an a$$ staring dumbly at you).

 

A guy who is romantic but NOT cheesy. No teddy bears or dorky cards please! Girls love it when a guy is spontaneous (like he calls you out of nowhere to tell you that he was thinking about you - now that's romantic). Or if you're driving down some random country lane...and he stops the car so you can pick wildflowers growing on the side road.

 

A guy who knows how to pamper his girl (similar to what I said for the guys). If he gives you a foot massage or gently kneads your tense lower back (without being asked)...well he's golden!

 

For me personally (and most of my girlfriends) the neck is UBER sensitive. It's incredibly HOT when a guy is softly breathing on your neck (from behind) and starts kissing you at the nape of the neck. Being kissed from behind is sweet too.

 

A guy who remembers the little things that you mention. I.e. he picks up that book you've been blabbing about just because...

 

I could go on and on...

[Ocean-Blue]

shadowplay...I thought I'd respond to your post.

 

Tell her she's beautiful every day.

This can get somewhat tiring. I say this b/c if he's telling me I'm beautiful everyday...well it sort of starts to sound a little disingenuous - who wants a man that panders to her vanity all the time. It's nice to hear it sometimes (or often even) but certainly not every day. Perhaps I'm in the minority, but this can get a tad annoying after a while.

 

Be affectionate in public. Hold her hand, put your hand around her waist, even kiss her occasionally on the lips. This sends the message that you're proud of her.

Yeah...some PDA is nice BUT he has to have a sense of decorum, no? Also, too much PDA is a mood kill (like he's a love starved puppy who wants to follow you everywhere).

 

Smile a lotwhen you're making out and make lots of eye contact.

Smiling is always nice. But don't smile "a lot" just because...smile b/c you want to. The eye contact thing is very true (shows that he's connecting with you).

Cuddle with her in bed every morning.

Not sure... Not a big fan of serial cuddlers. Some cuddling is nice but not every morning.

Make some noise when you're having sex so she knows she's pleasing you.

Depends on the noise...but a soft "mmm" or some kind of subtle feedback is nice. But screaming "yes! yes! yes!"...that's a major no no.

 

Never, I repeat, never look at other women when she's around.

TOTALLY disagree with this... If you're confident and he's a straight shooter...what's the problem? I like it when a guy points out an attractive woman - I do the same when I see an attractive man or woman.

 

Show interest in her interests and her life. Ask her questions about herself.

Yes! Totally agree. Sincere interest is always a nice thing. And the questions thing is true too...the more he asks, the more you share, the more you bond.

 

Call when you say you will and call her every day. I can't stress the importance of this.

Yup! A man who sticks to his word (no matter how trivial) is a keeper!

 

Essentially it's all about balance - not too much or too little of anything (that's the key to keeping a lady...at least I think anyway).

 

Of course, every woman is different...and what I have to say may not be how most women feel...but I just thought I'd post my thoughts either way. Feel free to respond to my "list".

[lino]

Hi, Lino. Thanks, I appreciate it. You seem like a sweetheart yourself. How are things going for you on the love front?

 

No problem

It's not going on at all, I'm not interested in dating right now, I'm just waiting for summer to come Winter here is too boring.

 

Thanks for your response, don't agree with all of them though.

I actually think I'm fine in this area but I don't think I've melted any womans heart yet I need work in other areas & I need to date the right girls!

 

I guarantee ths will melt any woman's heart:

 

1) Tell her she's beautiful every day.

Disagree with this. I think it loses value to say it everyday.

2) Be affectionate in public. Hold her hand, put your hand around her waist, even kiss her occasionally on the lips. This sends the message that you're proud of her.

Agree. I like when a girl does it for me too.

3) Smile a lotwhen you're making out and make lots of eye contact.

Agree, I always do this & I like it in return.

4) Cuddle with her in bed every morning.

If she likes it then yes, I agree. I enjoy it.

5) Make some noise when you're having sex so she knows she's pleasing you.

Neither agree or disagree. If she is pleasing me then yeah I'll make noise but if she isn't then I won't. I want it to be the same for her too, I don't like fakes.

6) Never, I repeat, never look at other women when she's around.

Early on I would never do it. If later I can sense she's cool with it & sees it for what it is, harmless fun, then I will look around & also point out other girls I think are hot. Same goes for her, if it's just for fun then I don't mind at all. With a girl that is really sensitive with this issue, I wouldn't do it. But don't forget it, it will eventually happen because a man is a man afterall

7) Show interest in her interests and her life. Ask her questions about herself.

Agree, I always do this. I want the same from her with me too.

8) Call when you say you will and call her every day. I can't stress the importance of this.

Same as above

[lino]

Thanks Ocean Blue

I think alot of what you said could apply to what men like too, it does for me.

 

I'd like to hear the opposite too, like what the girls like guys to do for them.

 

One could write a book on this.

 

As a girl, these are some things I like...

 

A man who loves to listen. When I tell a story, I like to know that he's listening (that he's engaged). Feedback is also a wonderful thing (not just sitting there like an a$$ staring dumbly at you).

 

A guy who is romantic but NOT cheesy. No teddy bears or dorky cards please! Girls love it when a guy is spontaneous (like he calls you out of nowhere to tell you that he was thinking about you - now that's romantic). Or if you're driving down some random country lane...and he stops the car so you can pick wildflowers growing on the side road.

 

A guy who knows how to pamper his girl (similar to what I said for the guys). If he gives you a foot massage or gently kneads your tense lower back (without being asked)...well he's golden!

 

For me personally (and most of my girlfriends) the neck is UBER sensitive. It's incredibly HOT when a guy is softly breathing on your neck (from behind) and starts kissing you at the nape of the neck. Being kissed from behind is sweet too.

 

A guy who remembers the little things that you mention. I.e. he picks up that book you've been blabbing about just because...

 

I could go on and on...

[woodsfield]

i respond best to oral sex .

[shadowplay]

Tell her she's beautiful every day.

This can get somewhat tiring. I say this b/c if he's telling me I'm beautiful everyday...well it sort of starts to sound a little disingenuous - who wants a man that panders to her vanity all the time. It's nice to hear it sometimes (or often even) but certainly not every day. Perhaps I'm in the minority, but this can get a tad annoying after a while.

Okay, not every day but often. Of course none of these things should be done if the guy is doing them just to do them. If he doesn't believe something, he shouldn't say it. But I think it's nice to keep reminding a girl you find her very attractive, if you genuinely do. I say this because I've dated guys who will shower me in compliments at the beginning and then stop once they've won me over. There's nothing worse than that.

 

Be affectionate in public. Hold her hand, put your hand around her waist, even kiss her occasionally on the lips. This sends the message that you're proud of her.

Yeah...some PDA is nice BUT he has to have a sense of decorum, no? Also, too much PDA is a mood kill (like he's a love starved puppy who wants to follow you everywhere).

Sure too much is too much, but holding a girl's hand and giving her the occasional spontaneous kiss is hardly overboard imo.

 

Smile a lotwhen you're making out and make lots of eye contact.

Smiling is always nice. But don't smile "a lot" just because...smile b/c you want to. The eye contact thing is very true (shows that he's connecting with you).

Again, same as above. Don't do something if you don't mean it. This is all about expressing/communicating feelings that are there.

Cuddle with her in bed every morning.

Not sure... Not a big fan of serial cuddlers. Some cuddling is nice but not every morning.

Really? Well, I have to disagree on this one. I love cuddling.

 

Make some noise when you're having sex so she knows she's pleasing you.

Depends on the noise...but a soft "mmm" or some kind of subtle feedback is nice. But screaming "yes! yes! yes!"...that's a major no no.

Yes, I mean the first of course, not the second. Some guys will be totally silent when they're having sex and that can be a real turn off.

 

Never, I repeat, never look at other women when she's around.

TOTALLY disagree with this... If you're confident and he's a straight shooter...what's the problem? I like it when a guy points out an attractive woman - I do the same when I see an attractive man or woman.

I'm kind of surprised. You really like a guy who checks out other women when he's out with you? Nothing could be a bigger turn off to me. It's different if you're watching a movie together and he points out an attractive actress, but to be visibly checking out other women walking down the street.

[Trialbyfire]

Of what I've observed, if you honestly believe they're the hottest thing to you on this Earth and you can't resist them, they will respond in-kind. Any pretense is fairly easy to spot so don't go there if you don't feel it.

[shadowplay]

they will respond in-kind.

 

Sorry if I'm being dense, but what do you mean by this?

[Trialbyfire]

Sorry if I'm being dense, but what do you mean by this?

You'll find that they appreciate it and return the affection.

[Krytie TV]

Of what I've observed, if you honestly believe they're the hottest thing to you on this Earth and you can't resist them, they will respond in-kind. Any pretense is fairly easy to spot so don't go there if you don't feel it.

 

I only wish that were the case. I have done this on more than one occasion and each time it turned into a relationship of taking attention and giving very little in return. Needless to say it won't come easy for me to do it again.

[Trialbyfire]

I only wish that were the case. I have done this on more than one occasion and each time it turned into a relationship of taking attention and giving very little in return. Needless to say it won't come easy for me to do it again.

It's about the person inside. What type of women have always attracted you? In the past, were you always the person giving?