Sunshine824 Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Title says it all. He's been my son's bus driver since last year. I've given him my cell number under the pretext of his needing to get in touch with me about my son(but I told him he could call me "anytime". He's called me on it to ask if my son was ok when he was absent. I missed it but he left a message and said I could "call him anytime." I've called him a couple of times when my son was sick to let him know he didn't have to come. We had a short convo each time. Well, neither of us has called "anytime." I'm getting "the vibes" from him that he likes me too, and the bus attendant is always trying to get us to stop talking so they can go to the next stop. I don't know what to do or how to take the next step or encourage him to?? I'm more comfortable with him taking the next step cuz I'm a little old fashioned like that. Any ideas??? Thanks in advanced!
directx Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Ask for his email address? Worst he can say is no.
BestAdvisor1 Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Are you married? What happend to your son's father? Is this bus driver married, girlfriend? How would your son feel about you dating his bus driver?
Ocean-Blue Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Stay away from the bus driver! Kids don't like it when their parents **** on the playground in which they play.
AriaIncognito Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I'd have to agree with ocean. This guy wont be his bus driver forever. Wait til your kid has a new school bus or whatever, then pursue him if need be.
Curmudgeon Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I'll third that notion! Don't fish in the company pond, yours or your son's!
confuseddd Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 If you are single, then I don't see why you can't pursue him. It is not like you work for the school system! TOO MANY SPOILSPORTS ON THIS SITE! (THey're just jealous that you've found someone interesting!!!) Enjoy your crush, it is exciting. Just hope you are not married cuz that could mean your marriage might be in trouble!
Author Sunshine824 Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 I apologize. I might have put this in the wrong place? I'm not in a relationship or coming out of one. I put this in "in search of" because I was in search of some help/answers? My son's father & I have been over for about 7 years - my son is 8. I also have a 13 year old daughter. Honestly, neither my son nor daughter would care. My daughter goes to a closer school(no bus) so it wouldn't affect or embarass her at all. And both of my kids like him a lot, although no matter who I date I don't bring anyone around my kids for months. It just so happens that he's already met both of my kids. He's always been extra friendly. Asking my daughter about her guitar lessons when he saw her with a guitar, talking to me about how my son is and how the breaks/vacations/summer went. I wouldn't mind waiting, except there's no way to know when the bus driver or route is being changed. The drivers don't get much notice and I get none. I was actually happy to see him again & my son was as well. I would think that it was just my own little crush in my head except for something that happened today. This morning there was a different bus attendant(he's always more friendly when there's a different attendant. I think the usual one cramps his style ). He shook mine & my daughter's hand and held mine for an extra second or 2. Now it's not like we've never met but he's never shook our hands until this morning.... Sigh... lol I'm definitely enjoying this crush. I'm just trying to figure out how I can let him know that I like him and would be open to talking to him or seeing him without actually saying it.
confuseddd Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 SMiling usually gives the guy a clue you like him. Sounds like you are doing all the right things though! He will get the nerve up...may be awhile though...some guys take plenty of time! Just keep on keepin' on!
HykoCepkinFn Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 the guy is just shy. Some guys like myself have to be almst 100% sure to take the next step. You try taking the next step i'm sure he'll be more than happy.
Curmudgeon Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 (THey're just jealous that you've found someone interesting!!!) But by all means continue to delude yourself.
Ocean-Blue Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 If you are single, then I don't see why you can't pursue him. It is not like you work for the school system! TOO MANY SPOILSPORTS ON THIS SITE! (THey're just jealous that you've found someone interesting!!!) Enjoy your crush, it is exciting. Just hope you are not married cuz that could mean your marriage might be in trouble! Yes, you got me. My post was brimming with jealously. How very perceptive you are. OP: If you KNOW for a fact that your son doesn't mind, then I suppose there is no harm in pursuing something with this man. Good luck to you.
lindya Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I'm definitely enjoying this crush. I'm just trying to figure out how I can let him know that I like him and would be open to talking to him or seeing him without actually saying it. I think if you're feeling brave, you could just smile and say (quietly but looking straight into his eyes) "give me a call". I'm not with the posters who say "wrong situation, stay away etc". Unless it turns out that he's married. Being a single mother with kids, when you do meet guys it's quite likely that you'll do so through child-based activities. Also, if you took a sample of people who got married in their late 20s to 40s you'd probably find that a rather large chunk of them met in circumstances that weren't wholly appropriate. Some of them through work, some of them through their kids. When it comes to sparking up new relationships, you'll be pretty fortunate if every box in the "is this appropriate?" checklist gets ticked. No offence to anyone, but I think people forget that when they're discouraging other people from pursuing a bit of happiness.
Ocean-Blue Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I think if you're feeling brave, you could just smile and say (quietly but looking straight into his eyes) "give me a call". I'm not with the posters who say "wrong situation, stay away etc". Unless it turns out that he's married. Being a single mother with kids, when you do meet guys it's quite likely that you'll do so through child-based activities. Also, if you took a sample of people who got married in their late 20s to 40s) you'd probably find that a rather large chunk of them met in circumstances that weren't wholly appropriate. Some of them through work, some of them through their kids. When it comes to sparking up new relationships, you'll be pretty fortunate if every box in the "is this appropriate?" checklist gets ticked. No offence to anyone, but I think people forget that when they're discouraging other people from pursuing a bit of happiness. I didn't see it as "discouraging" her from her happiness... I was speaking from the perspective of her son - but since she says he wouldn't mind, then there's no problem. If in fact her son were to mind (that it bothered him that his mom was flirting with and seeing his bus driver)...well, is it worth it for her to pursue him (knowing that her son feels uncomfortable with it)? This is mere conjecture b/c she has said he doesn't mind... But I understand what you are saying about single parents having a tougher time when it comes to dating. I didn't consider that side of it.
lindya Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I didn't see it as "discouraging" her from her happiness... I was speaking from the perspective of her son - but since she says he wouldn't mind, then there's no problem. If in fact her son were to mind (that it bothered him that his mom was flirting with and seeing his bus driver)...well, is it worth it for her to pursue him (knowing that her son feels uncomfortable with it)? This is mere conjecture b/c she has said he doesn't mind... yes - the possibility of embarrassment for the kids would be the thing that would make me question something like that, but as you've said that doesn't seem to be the case here. The OP's situation reminded me of real life situations I've seen friends or acquaintances in where, on paper the situation might not seem completely appropriate but it actually seems okay in a real life context. There's always the possibility of her son getting a little bit of teasing from friends about it, but that possibility will be greatly reduced if she makes sure she handles it with discretion (and as she's indicated that she's a bit shy and old fashioned about the whole "approaching men" thing, she probably will be fairly discreet).
Author Sunshine824 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 Thank you for all of the responses! lol @ "ask him for a ride." I might have to try that and see what he says. I appreciate everyone's concern for my son in this situation. Obviously, he's the first person I thought about. But even if anything were to happen between myself & the driver it's not like we'll be making out on the bus in front of the kids or I'll be sitting on his lap as we pull up to the school! jk I would definitely want to keep things just between us as I would with any other man that I would see. He wouldn't be around my kids any more than he is now, for at least a few months until I feel certain that he'll be more involved & I actually want him around my kids. I'm pretty protective of them and they've rarely met anyone I've dated unless it became long term. By the time if/when we become "public" there's a good chance he wouldn't even be my son's driver anymore. Another thing that happened yesterday - in the afternoon there was a trash truck blocking my street when my son was being dropped off so he parked up the street. My daughter & I walked up to the bus and he walked my son off the bus and even when we got there and I got my son he was still kinda just standing there. I didn't know what to say other than "thank you" and he just kept standing there like there was something else, but he didn't say anything else. And neither did I. I feel so dumb! I feel like it was a prime opportunity to say something but I clammed up. Arghhh!!! Today the usual bus attendant was on, so he was back to being friendly but reserved again. I feel like maybe if we can get a couple of minutes alone I'll get to know something, but between the bus attendant & my daughter(not to mention all the other kids) there's never a moment. Another thing that throws me is he wears sunglasses a lot, so I can't look into his eyes to "read" him or make eye contact. It throws me off balance. Sigh... Remeber in school when you could just send one of your friends to ask his friends if he liked you??? I miss those days. I wish I could be bold and tell him to call me, but I don't know if I could make those words come out of my mouth. Plus, I have his number, so technically I could call him. But I. just. can't.....
Author Sunshine824 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 This afternoon: Grrrrr!!! Arghhhhhh!!! I HATE being shy!!! The usual bus attendant wasn't on again but there was one there. So as my son is coming down the steps he asked me what he could call me? I told him my name. That was it. Grrrrr!!!!! Of course I thought of sooo many cute, witty things to say to him to flirt with him after the fact. I'm telling you, it's the sunglasses!! They throw me off. I can't see his eyes to "feel" him. Thinking about asking him again what I can call him(I already know his name ). But I can only do that if the usual bus attendant isn't there. If she is, I'm pretty sure she'll know I'm full of it... lol I'm hoping he's/we're getting there slowly but surely. :crossing my fingers:
Green Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 just flirt some more girl, and he might ask you out. From your stories he definetly sounds interested but ur shyness could keep him from asking.
Author Sunshine824 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 Ok, right now I feel really stupid and I'm not sure if I should or not?!?!?! Don't ask me why I did it, I just lost my mind. I texted him about 30 minutes after he dropped my son off and said, "Forgot to ask- what do I call you? I have you in my phone under 'bus driver'?" :eek: I haven't heard back from him yet.... I'm sooo scared! I feel !!! I'm hoping I didn't offend him or step over his line or something! I'm having all these second thoughts and kicking myself for sending that. I thought that maybe it would open the door, but what if he didn't want it opened? What do you think? Right now I'm thinking he's either a)trying to figure out a way to let me down easy. b)trying to figure out a way to respond and turn it into more than just a one word answer(his name) - the thing I'm hoping he's doing . or c)ignoring my text all together cuz he just doesn't care. What do you guys think? Am I wrong & crazy for sending it? Which do you think is the reason why he hasn't responded yet??? I'm going crazy over here. :(
norajane Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 If he just dropped your son off, don't you think he's still driving the bus? Not a good idea to text while driving a school bus...
Curmudgeon Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Yes, you got me. My post was brimming with jealously. How very perceptive you are. He has all of us figured out after less than a month here and a whole eight posts. What a whiz!
lindya Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 I texted him about 30 minutes after he dropped my son off and said, "Forgot to ask- what do I call you? I have you in my phone under 'bus driver'?" :eek: I haven't heard back from him yet.... I wish you'd checked with us before you sent that. Still, onwards and upwards. Maybe tomorrow when you get on the bus you could give him a cheeky laughing-at-myself kind of smile, and say "hello bus driver". Then you could just kind of leave it there unless he gives you some kind of clear flirting signal. Of course he might give you a heart attack by answering "hello Sunshine824!"
Author Sunshine824 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 I sent it 30 mins after because 1) my son is one of the last stops on his route in the afternoon so he was almost done. and 2) I didn't want to do it at like 5pm or later cause that would be like "personal time" you know? I didn't expect a response right away, I was just kind of hoping it would open the door because I don't really see a way for us to communicate while he's dropping off & picking up. Besides the bus attendant, the other kids, my daughter AND the fact that he's actually working, it's just not the best time. There really IS no good time that I could think of. A text is easy. You can read it and answer it on your own time. Not like a phone call which can be distracting. I saw it as sort of an excuse to communicate and trying to let him know it's ok to use the phone. HE'S the one who left a message on my phone saying I could "call anytime." This was last year. lol But I haven't and neither has he. I still feel dumb & . I'm going to take your advice though lindya and laugh it off in the morning. Act like it was nothing even though I'm giving myself a nervous breakdown.
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