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Posted

hey i went out with this girl for almost 2 years,I met her online in October of 2005 we started talking on the phone and she lived in NC while I lived in FL.The relationship was okay then in April 2006 I flew out there and lived with her in NC.At first everything was awesome we were totally into each other we didnt have to worry about a thing.But then in August that same year she found out she was pregnant and we had an abortion that same month.Not long after that she wanted to break up with me saying she didnt know if she loved me anymore.However I flew out to visit my family in CA in October and she immediately found out she loved me and I came back but see I hadnt seen my family in CA for over 15 years so i wasnt sure what i wanted more her or CA so it went back and forth I really needed to get my GED and my license so in December of 2006 i flew out to CA again to get that done but I realized i loved her and i promised her i would go back to her once i got all that stuff done.I stayed there until February of 2007 and then she was in love with me for the first week or 2 but after that she seemed bored with me.I couldnt find a job out there in NC,i had no life,just her.So in June I flew down to FL to visit my mom and brother and sister we didnt talk on the phone that much from then on.I think that really hurt but anyways a situation happened with my mom so me & my dad drove to CA.My ex then told me to go to CA to get a job and start a life for myself before going to stay with her again.So Im here in CA and in August 2007 she tells me she lost interest and she found sum1 else.I was hurt so then this other girl comes along and makes me forget about my ex. 3 days later my ex sent me a message saying she wanted to come back but i said no.But guess what?3 weeks later that other girl screwed me over to go marry some other dude!when she did that i realized something.My ex loved me but that other girl never did.So I told her i wanted her back but now shes saying no and shes totally into this other guy!And she treats him waaay better than she treats me and she does things with him that she never did with me it makes me so jealous!Idk what to do.Her new bf lives in Mass and shes in NC so idk how thats going to work out.I have a job now I could transfer to NC and get a place there.The thing is Im wondering if I go back there do u think when she sees me for the first time in months that she will like me again???Thats the big question. I asked her and she said no and taht shes totally into this other guy.I really want her back I have all these memories i really love her.Please help me out but my main question is do u think she would take me back if i flew out there?Notice how she took me back once i left to go to CA.What hurts is that shes saying i creep her out and that i scare her but idk what im doing im just trying to get her back.I really really really want her back guys Im praying my heart out for it I would sell my soul to get her back in love with me.Thx and srry this is so long!

Posted

I feel for you in a bewildering situation. It is tough.

 

However firstly I suggest you post in paragraphs - a long single block of text is hard to read and many people don't bother, so your message gets lost.

 

I really don't think the relationship is going to work which I know sounds harsh and you won't want to think that. However you have tried with her and it has been on and off.

 

You need to leave her alone to make up her mind. If it is meant to be, it will work out but honestly I think she has moved on.

 

That leaves you very hurt and you need strategies to cope. Friends, work, counselling, there are all sorts of things which help.

 

The one thing I can assure you is that you aren't alone. Keep posting.

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Posted

so like if i was to go back there do you think she would change her mind and come back to me?She hasnt seen me in months maybe seeing me would change her mind.That is my only hope.

Posted

Ok you can try. Just be aware that you might be setting yourself up for more pain. Girls like to be pursued but in situations like this, they don't value what they can have.

 

From all I have read on this site, pursuing a girl you love is a turn-off for the girl. It doesn't help.

 

You are the only person who can make your decision. Possibly you will always wonder what would have happened if you'd gone to her so for that reason it is a risk you have to take.

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Posted

yeah well i mean idk just i regret a lot of things and i have this feeling,usually when i have this feeling im doing the right thing,so like i think good will come out of me seeing her again.I think we will fall in love again.We were together almost 2 years we cant just throw that away.

Posted

If I were you, I would get on with my life and forget about her. You may think you love her but is she really worth all the trouble? If you do relocate to NC, there is no guarantee that she will come back to you.

 

If you had some sort of indication that she was still interested in you, then you may want to risk it and go. That doesn't appear to be the case as she's called you "creepy" when you tried to talk about getting back together. So, based on her responses, I would get on with my life and get settled in with your job and find someone else.

 

Good luck!

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Posted

I notice when Ive talked to her on the phone she talks to me how she used to,like she liked controlling me and she tells me what to do sometimes even tho we're not together now.I asked her a few days ago that if her and that other guy dont work out to please call me and she said 'okay'.That gave me hope but the next time i asked her she said 'idk thats like saying me and him ARE going to not work out' but i know if something were to happen she would come back to me.

 

Plus she sent me an email like 3 days after she broke up with me saying she wanted me back but I said no and now I really regret it.But I can tell by the way she talks to me on the phone that she still likes me its just that the other guy is keeping her mind off me.When I go back there we'll be back together dont ask me how but I can just tell.

 

If any1 here is a believer in Christ and you are reading this please pray that we get back together again.

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Posted

ok she isnt saying the creepy thing anymore.It seems that was a misunderstanding.The other guy has texted me and he says that even if she was to leave him for me he doesnt mind as long as shes happy.

 

That gave me hope but now she is saying she was miserable with me and all this.But if she was so miserable then why was she crying and telling me she almost overdosed on Advil becuz of the mistake i made a month ago by picking the other girl over her?I asked her about that and she did not want to answer she kept saying idk but i finally got her to respond and she said 'It hurt me to see you with sum1 else and he didnt call me that night'.

 

Ive talked to a lot of people about this and what Im mainly getting is this:

 

A:move on forget about her,find sum1 else

 

B:Wait for her to call you,see how things are in a month or two.

 

Idk sumthing tells me something crazy will happen this dude is 20 and she is 14 he lives up in Massachusetts and shes in NC.Think about it.He says he will not even kiss her until she is 18!Thats 3 years I as well as others dont believe him.He says there is little keeping him in Mass but he has only known her for a couple months I find it weird that he is willing to go down there and live with a girl he still doesnt know all too well.

 

She says that they are happy and that he gives her the right amount of attention(despite that i dropped out of school for her and lived with her for a year) and that she feels srry for him because hes had to deal with a lot.(who hasnt?) but anyways I was just wondering what you guys think about this.

  • Author
Posted

allright heres whats going on now,

 

She called me Friday and she was telling me thigns that she didnt want me to tell him.We were on the subject of things and I sent her a picture of my wood and I asked her if she was mad and she said no.She also said it brought back memories.She sounded fine to me.

Then the conversation got a little different I did something and she still sounded okay and she said the conversation was between me & her.

So then the next day the other guy calls me and says 'dude thats messed up leave her the f* alone'.So Im like okay???She then sends me a message on myspace saying that it upset her but remember I asked her about it and she said she wasnt mad.She totally contradicted herself.

This dude is 20 and she is 14 I texted him saying that looks really bad and both of them are pissed i said that and she calls me Sunday saying she doesnt want me to call or text or nothing and that shes deleted me on myspace.She called me 3 times that morning though.Then she says Ive ruined everything for her and that the other guy thinks she did something like cheated on him or something.

When she was about to get off the phone I said I love you and she said 'no just tell me bye'.I said it two more times and still she couldnt get off the phone for some reason.Then when I said 'I still care for you' she hung up.

I find it hard to believe that after dropping out of school for her and flying out there living with her for like a year and dedicating so much of my life for her that she would be over me like that in just 3 WEEKS!I also find it weird that some guy at the age of 20 is willing to get serious with a 14 year old he's sent me texts saying he wants nothing more than her and all this.Theyve only been going out for not even 2 weeks.

She said I was making her miserable when I was with her and now she is all happy with him but If I was so bad then why would she of stayed with me this long and why did she send me a message crying saying she almost OD'd on advil a month ago becuz she wanted me back.

Im leaving to go back to NC within the next month.God has told me I will be with her again.

  • 2 years later...
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