IpAncA Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 I'm not a guy but I'll say my opinion on age gap. You have 17 years on her. Is that okay with both of you if this turned into something? I don't think the age is going to hurt every relationship. My grandparents have a 20 year gap and as shocking at that may come to people are still together. And don't anyone hand me times were different. And btw SG she might have. Some people find themselves sooner then others.
Pyro Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 And she's much younger than I am. I bring this up because she is very mature for her age and we both share the same faith, same goals, etc. She seems like a very, very good match. But....she's only 21. I'm 38. That's a huge age gap. I'm not so concerned with it. Even her parents are OK with it (her dad is divorced and dating someone much younger as well). Thought I'd put this out there knowing that some people are going to criticize it. But I wanted to know from men who have dated younger women what are some things I should keep in mind. She's not a party girl, FWIW. She independent, has her own place, is finishing up college, works full time and like I said, is as strong in her faith as I am. Thoughts? Congrats to you my friend. I wish you nothing but the best. In regards to how I feel, I turn your attention to post #4.
Trialbyfire Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Congrats to you my friend. I wish you nothing but the best. In regards to how I feel, I turn your attention to post #4. Great minds think alike. So, now that it's obvious you're pretty happy about this Caliguy and can take some teasing, what do you call a male cougar?
Izzy B Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Then why are you here posting about it, if you're not hoping for something for the long term, eh? "It's too early" and "I've found someone" don't fit well together. Why do you post about all your dates? None of them went anywhere. Also he didn't state no interest longterm. He said time will tell. I've found someone could be interpretted a lot of different ways. I took it as "I've found someone to start a relationship with."
Izzy B Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 She's very attractive, I don't think I mentioned that I assumed that, all the better.
coco_milkshake Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Yay go you!!! Hope things work out for you, you deserve it!!
Krytie TV Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Tread lightly. She has so much changing to do over the next few years.
Star Gazer Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Why do you post about all your dates? None of them went anywhere. Excuse me? Who are you again?
daphne Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I guess I'll be the negative one. I think that in this day and age, a 17 year age difference with someone who has left puberty in the past few years has a low possibility of working out long term. I think at your age, it's a little impractical to chase after youth like that. However, I understand that this is something that you've wanted for some time so you'll have to see it through. I say this after having dated a few guys that were 10 years younger. They never really are as mature as you say. They are just better looking than the people your age.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 I guess I'll be the negative one. I think that in this day and age, a 17 year age difference with someone who has left puberty in the past few years has a low possibility of working out long term. I think at your age, it's a little impractical to chase after youth like that. However, I understand that this is something that you've wanted for some time so you'll have to see it through. I say this after having dated a few guys that were 10 years younger. They never really are as mature as you say. They are just better looking than the people your age. Well I wouldn't say that. I've met a lot of very attractive women my age. I agree with a lot of everyone's thoughts. I'm not rushing into anything and we'll see where this goes. It's hard not to be slightly excited though to find someone who shares so many philosophies in life that I do.
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 If the age thing is no big deal to you or her and you don't care what others think, go for it. Take a chance, get to know her, let her know you and see if this thing grows into something serious. If it does, that's great!! If it doesn't, you'll hurt, she'll hurt, but you'll both go on and be better off having been involved and taken the chance to see what happens.
underpants Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Well I wouldn't say that. I've met a lot of very attractive women my age. I agree with a lot of everyone's thoughts. I'm not rushing into anything and we'll see where this goes. It's hard not to be slightly excited though to find someone who shares so many philosophies in life that I do. I am happy for you and concerned at the same time. 20 is pretty young and she is still finding her sense of self. I hate to throw this out there, but could she be enamored with you and mirroring a lot of these common ideas back to you in adoration. (...gosh, I used to do that ... ...before I got a little sage on me.) Just be careful, and kind.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 If the age thing is no big deal to you or her and you don't care what others think, go for it. Take a chance, get to know her, let her know you and see if this thing grows into something serious. If it does, that's great!! If it doesn't, you'll hurt, she'll hurt, but you'll both go on and be better off having been involved and taken the chance to see what happens. Agreed. In fact, she was the one who was worried about what I would think. She thought I wouldn't be interested in her because of her age. She is slightly shy But she is very intelligent, has a great head on her shoulders and if I has so many of the character qualities I find attractive. I'm glad I got to know her.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 I am happy for you and concerned at the same time. 20 is pretty young and she is still finding her sense of self. I hate to throw this out there, but could she be enamored with you and mirroring a lot of these common ideas back to you in adoration. (...gosh, I used to do that ... ...before I got a little sage on me.) Just be careful, and kind. I thought that at first but the qualities in me she said she is attracted to are things I would hope someone would find attractive about me. My character, my faith, my kindness and my confidence. She never once mentioned looks, height (5'10") or age. In fact, until I reminded her, she totally forgot. That's impressive. Most 21 year olds would be enamored with my age and overlook the qualities that distinguish me from other men. I am NOT saying I am all that, please understand that. But I am confident and know where I am going in life and I am strong in my faith. Those are qualities that I know should attract the right woman for me. I've met and dated other women but none who could compare to her as far as our goals and beliefs.
Citizen Erased Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I won't judge, hell I'd date you and I'm a year younger then her
AriaIncognito Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Here's more of my 2 cents (4 cents perhaps?) If we knew what would happen with each person we dated, we wouldn't need to date. You have to take the risk to possibly get the reward. Nobody knows what will happen in a relationship with anyone. Heck my last bf was 1 day older than me, we had all the same morals and whatnot and seemed to be perfect for eachother. You just never know. You have to take the risk to find out. :-)
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Agreed. In fact, she was the one who was worried about what I would think. She thought I wouldn't be interested in her because of her age. She is slightly shy But she is very intelligent, has a great head on her shoulders and if I has so many of the character qualities I find attractive. I'm glad I got to know her. Then just enjoy and see where this leads. You'll know soon enough! So, I take it there's some good sexual chemistry there too? It isn't "just" about intelligence, and her qualities of her personality? Just making sure...
Author CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 Then just enjoy and see where this leads. You'll know soon enough! So, I take it there's some good sexual chemistry there too? It isn't "just" about intelligence, and her qualities of her personality? Just making sure... There's a little TOO much sexual chemistry Haha. It's hard to temper those feelings but so far we've managed to behave. Aria, I agree. If we don't see where this leads, we'll never know. Darlin_coco, you say the nicest things. Flattery will get you everywhere with me
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Well, you better have sex with her before the 2 month mark. LOL!
KenzieAbsolutely Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 just my opinion, but it doesn't seem that you deal very well after a break-up. i would be wary of getting heavily involved with someone at such a wishy-washy age.
Author CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 just my opinion, but it doesn't seem that you deal very well after a break-up. i would be wary of getting heavily involved with someone at such a wishy-washy age. I can see why you might say that. Any other breakup I was fine with. The last one, I asked her to marry me. That doesn't exactly happen every day, ya know? Anyway, I am fine, thanks for your concern.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I can see why you might say that. Any other breakup I was fine with. The last one, I asked her to marry me. That doesn't exactly happen every day, ya know? Anyway, I am fine, thanks for your concern. you are quite welcome.
johan Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I'm actually happy for you, and slightly envious. But this thread is typical for you: you post a story and feign interest in people's opinions. You don't care what anyone thinks at all, you just defend yourself from those who say anything contrary to the decision you've made. I don't understand it completely. You and that guy Darkzen have that in common. And you respond to each and every negative response in order to keep the argument alive. You don't even give any dissenters credit for having any points at all. You don't even say maybe you'll give it some thought. You just shaft them, because you've predetermined their wrongness just by virtue of the fact that they've disagreed with you. The conversation goes a bit like this: YOU: "I've got this odd thing going on. What does everyone think?" PERSON1: "I don't really think it's right, and here are my reasons..." YOU: "I don't really care what you think. But I'm responding to keep you going." PERSON2: "I think it's great." YOU: "EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. You're my friend." I know how you'll respond to this, if you even bother. You'll probably ignore it, because you're so secure and unflappable. ANYwayyy.... good for you! I think it's great.
Citizen Erased Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 smexy joahn said unflappable -my word of the day from my calender
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