carrotgirl Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Thank you for this thread - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=114697 It was insightful and interesting. I've had more than a gut feeling many of the things you expressed are going on with my dumper ex. The worst of my struggling the past week and half comes from within and seems to come when I put hard boundaries on myself. I'm not comfortable with them. I'm far more comfortable with being friendly when I feel friendly and avoiding when I feel like avoiding. I think what I need is a less rules based approach and a more I'm going to just do what is good for me at the time approach. I need to take care of myself first, consider myself first. It isn't healthy for me to be any other way right now. That might sound selfish, but so be it. For whatever it's worth, I don't at all feel like my ex is game playing. I do feel like I'm being tested somewhat, that could be true or could be self-manufactured. I personally feel that if my ex, either consciously or not, feels this is a test of my love and fidelity, my willingness to give him space and NOT be bitter or hateful or flip out about it, despite the hard words of the break up, well, it's valid. And time will tell. Carrot
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