Jmina Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 I am so sad.. i just want to cry. and if i let myself i would be able to cry all the time. but i dont have the energy sometimes. it just wasnt meant to be like this.... not this bad. my heart the sadness isnt overwhelming it is just there, and anything that is likely to pull on the heart strings, such as a movie, or story, i want to cry and immediately think of what happened with my ex. but i just push it away. its been 4 and a half months. since i was wiped out. its been about a month and a half since we last spoke. how long till she misses me? never?
Bosiell Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 You have to cry, you must. Its only natural. If it means crying all the time then just cry all the time, you will stop, then cry some later, you cannot and should not hold it back. It must be part of your healing. I had never known I could cry as much as I had recently, but I never held it back, I just couldnt. I sometimes intentionally started listening to some relevant favourite songs which I know would make me cry, just because I was so cut up inside and to try some relief. Cant comment really on how long till she misses you, as painfull as it may sound tho, you have to realise soon as you can that she may well not miss you. You cannot possible begin to recover from your sadness and hurt untill you stop the reliance on her missing you and wanting you back. It will hurt, it will hurt like hell. There is no switch, believe me I wish there was! But you must be strong and remember you are not alone, many many people have and are going through this to. I hope this helps my friend. Keep posting.
Spinderella Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 I agree with Bosiel, dont fight the emotions, let yourself go through them, the more you push them down, the longer they stay there. Eventually you will come to a kind of peace with it, and after that you will emerge again. Nobody can say if she will come back to you or not.
ahah2322 Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 hey, i hope you stay strong... getting over the loss of a relationship is not painless but the pain will be over for you, someday. i'm clueless about your story but i can empathise with your heartbreak. please accept that she's never coming back... and cry if you must. do not ever bottle up the feelings and emotions for this unhealthy practice will only prolong your suffering. i wish you well and stay strong. (hugs)
carrotgirl Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Jmina, I'm ready to break old dishes in the driveway. You're invited to join me virtually. They make a nice crashing noise. I can offer hugs and support. You know you're not alone. I was too stunned at first to cry and then the crying snuck up on me in the weirdest ways. I'm going to take someone's advice and spin for another twenty minutes and then at least try to do something else. Hugs! Carrot
AriaIncognito Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Who knows when or if she'll ever miss you, but the best place you can put yourself, is in a place where you won't care even if you find out she does miss you. The best revenge is to live well. And if she's not there to see it, well, you're still living well so who gives a crap! It's been 4 months for me and my ex seemingly doesn't care 1 iota, but I've made some changes in my life to make myself happier and I'm pretty sure he's aware of them as one of them is a public thing. Someday he'll sulk at home about how I've moved on and changed things for the better, while he's stuck in the same rut. I just know it.
Teacher's Pet Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 I concur with my esteemed colleague. If you work on yourself and really make yourself to be the best person you can, by it's own merit, word travels fast. My ex has a 4 year college degree, and is stuck teaching in a dead-end town (actually, one of the lowest paying towns in the state of NJ).. she has no motivation to move (she teaches at the high school she graduated from), and doesn't even have any desire to go for her Master's. I'm a college dropout making more money than her, and having a lot more fun doing it. Now, money isn't everything, of course... but even when I look at the big picture... She has very few friends (except her new bf). While we were together, I watched as she systematically cut off almost every friend she ever had in the world. She is a true sociopath who doesn't know how to maintain a friendship, let alone a relationship. Aside from all of that, I'm slowly getting back into my old "hobby", which, like Ariawoman, is very "public", and in the past, has made me some good extra money, and got me on national TV a few times. I miss having that lifestyle, and of course, with the amount of hours I spend working, I don't see myself on TV anytime soon, but I'm in the process of planning my "comeback" to the stage, and trust me, my name will be out there. You have to find what motivates you in YOUR life, and take hold of it and DO IT. Take what you are BEST at...and get BETTER. There is no better feeling in the world than to do what you love, and have the appreciation of those around you. You'll feel great, and eventually, your ex will catch on to this and realize they missed out on being a part of something truly wonderful. Carpe diem! (does that mean fish for a dime?) -tp never studied latin.
Author Jmina Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 Thanks guys, so much. dont worry i dont hold my feelings in, i will go to bed and cry and sob and all that. sometimes during the day i can't though depends where i am, who im with etc. yesterday when i posted i wanted to cry, but at the same time i was so exhausted i didnt have the energy to do it, so i sat in my feelings instead and went to bed early. dreamt of her. today i dont know what to feel but i know if i thought about it i would start to cry. maybe somedays i am starting to hold it in... because i feel that if i cry more i will go back to where i was and not get over it.. i went from crying all the time to finding some happiness to cry mainly at night, to now, still having happiness but ignoring the pain someitmes.. just because it has been 4 months doesnt mean i should stop crying right? i dont really want to get bitter about it all either. ive been through the bitter stage and ive found peace from the hurt now. i forgive her. i dont feel the need for revenge even by having the best life i can. i do want to have the best life i can on the other hand but i dont want to do it for my own revenge. i want to do it because its a better choice for me than not. maybe i need a slap in the face. a wake up call? cant seem to let go of the fact that deep down i think she will always love who we were together and who i was when we were together. she cant love who i am now because we dont really know each other anymore...havnt seen each other for a 1-2 months. i guess im pretty much in love with the old her. and still VERY attracted to her. (seen photos here and there and when i think about her i remember how attracted i was to her...like never before) please keep posting to me, i feel i may be a bit stuck in my healing and i need some help. thanks guys
Author Jmina Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 ive also noticed that she had made another myspace page that wasnt private which was apparently on there for her writings. but still had who she was and some personal stuff in there about her. shes knows im on myspace and that i would check it out, then i noticed that she deleted her other myspace page - which was private anyway so i couldnt see it. then a few days later she deleted her new page. so now she has no myspace page and im wondering why. i guess its a good thing for me, because it was the only way to have some sort of contact to her with who she is now(not that i was contacting her). now all i have are memories.
Curious139 Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Yes it is good that her page has gone, you've been torturing yourself looking at it. I don't know how long it takes to get over this stuff but you will get there. Don't for one moment be hard on yourself because this is your own intimate experience and no-one else can live it for you. There is nothing wrong with thinking of the good times you had together. Allow yourself those memories. Eventually time softens everything and you'll reach the stage of accepting she has gone on another path in life. You have your own path to walk and there are many good people ahead of you. Best wishes.
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