whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Well, I nearly DID the deed at age 16 with my crush, 1st love and the reason why I'm glad I didn't is because he broke up with me the next night, on the phone, the night before exams were starting. I asked him if we had ended up having sex would he still have broken up with me...He said yes, so that made me feel good that I didn't have sex with him. I'm a slut, but with my own H. LOL.
IpAncA Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Oh please your not a freak. It's refreshing to know there are guys out there that don't stick themselves in the first available hole.
Trialbyfire Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I think it's very cool that a guy needs the emotional connection before jumping into bed with the first available person. It's the difference between making love and having sex. As for the chick in your office, tell her you're something special. Btw, like WWIU, only two for me. Random hookups are so meaningless.
Bobby NoBrains Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 There's nothing like "too few" sex partners. Better to have meaningful sex in a relationship than the "dip the wick cause it's itching" variety. Plus it's the best excuse not to wear condoms, heh. Just my two bits .. Bobby
Woggle Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I see nothing at all with random hookups. I can have casual sex with a woman and still have respect for her. Most of the time she was enjoying it as well so no harm was done. As long as both parties are honest about the fact that it is casual there is nothing wrong with it in my book. There is something wrong with lying about your intentions in order to get somebody into bed. That being said there is nothing wrong with a man who needs to have an emotional connection to have sex. Sex with love is much better than casual sex. Casual sex is like fast food and sex with love is like a fine italian meal.
sarg81 Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 hey man i am the same way ive only been with two girls in my life so far one at 18 and the other at 23 im not religious although i need to be and im not a freak but after the first experience im just too afraid to get involved with a girl. sex to me is something sacred not just a fad
IamASelfishSOB Posted September 27, 2007 Posted September 27, 2007 So in the office the other day a few of us were talking about relationships and one of my officemates said something to me implying that I had several sexual partners in the past...I'm 33, by the way. I told her no, just my wife and one of my HS girlfriends. She seemed to be absolutely shocked, saying that especially since I'm a "really good looking guy". It blew her away that I never had casual sex, flings, etc. I told her I guess I'm a little old fashioned. I can tell pretty quicly if a woman is someone that I could see myself in a relationship with...If not, then sharing the intimacies of sex just isn't extremely appealing to me. I basically got used to brushing off womens' advances till I met one that rocked my world...the latest being my wife back when I was 19. The ones that I met and even went out on dates with during a 1 year break-up period when we were dating didn't do much more for me than get a rise in my pants, so I never felt like pursuing it "just" for sex or "good time". I'm not religious and certainly am attracted to women, but I think unlike most men I do need an emotional connection to want to have sex with a woman and I think I could get attached to a woman with something as intimate as a night of sex...not worth it if I know it's something that would only be short term. My co-worker started making me feel like I had really missing out by never playing the field...I told her that it's a nice feeling to no that ALL of my sexual experiences were just with two women...and in fact the only woman I've ever had unprotected sex with is my wife...and I know that my wife likes that :-) And it's not like I'm an ugly guy. I always had girlfriends in elementary, middle and high school, and the "hot" girls that I worked with at Outback Steakhouse when I was in college often flirted with me and asked me to call them...I guess I'm just really picky and not an aggressive guy...in retrospect I bet they suspected I was gay So this lady made me feel like kind of a freak...anyone else on here that's in my position...chose not to have lots of partners for non-religious reasons. Did I miss anything by not spreading my seed? You are in a very dangerous place, my friend. Think with your head. I know it's hard, but think before you act. Trust me. Someone is going to throw a huge temptation your way one of these days. It will happen, I guarantee it. If you are hoping it will happen, your marriage is on just as shaky ground. If you want to be happy in your marriage, work on it now. If you want to spread your seed. Its time to walk away.
Author LankyGuy Posted September 28, 2007 Author Posted September 28, 2007 Thanks guys. SOB, thanks for the input...I followed your thread here, so I see how things can unravel so easily. I never really worried about this before...especially over the past 10 years once I realized I'd be with the same woman forever. As far as I'm concerned, women all have the same parts...just some differences in sizes and shapes. It's the emotional connection that you make that differentiates it...and you don't get much of that by "spreading your seed"...
Cobra_X30 Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 I never really worried about this before...especially over the past 10 years once I realized I'd be with the same woman forever. As far as I'm concerned, women all have the same parts...just some differences in sizes and shapes. It's the emotional connection that you make that differentiates it...and you don't get much of that by "spreading your seed"... What you say is very true! But the guys that chase after every woman that comes along... they do it for ego reasons. They have something to prove to themselves. So you have nothing to prove! Thats a great foundation! Make your marriage the best ever! Go fix that thing.
solitude Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 Now THIS part sounds like you've been giving it some real thought however, so you might want to explore those feelings and see where they are coming from and how you really feel about where you are in your own relationship. I'm not saying your going to do this, but clearly you have given it a good deal of thought. Which I am certainly not condemning you for, just making an observation. The amount of people who come in here simply to badger others with their high moral position is staggering. No one but you lives in your shoes, so take everyone's opinions and advice with a HUGE grain of salt. You are a molecular biologist and you take your precious time to post on a relationship forum, I have to say that you do have issues with your coworkers and that you are indeed fantasizing about other women and even maybe having an A. This is the 'vibe' I got from your posts. Just my 2 pennies.
BklynGuy Posted September 28, 2007 Posted September 28, 2007 That's true. I have played the field and had several casual sex partners. I used to believe in the only one woman thing, but have come to realize that all women aren't that way. After playing the field I became tired, realizing that although I was getting some, there really wasn't anything else there in any relationship, so I quit doing that.
Author LankyGuy Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 You are a molecular biologist and you take your precious time to post on a relationship forum, I have to say that you do have issues with your coworkers and that you are indeed fantasizing about other women and even maybe having an A. This is the 'vibe' I got from your posts. Just my 2 pennies. We have lives too...I've posted on many forums in my days... No, I can't say I've never fantasized about other women...especially since I've been with my wife forever and we have had some issues lately. I also fantasize about other jobs, I've wondered what it would be like to try cocaine, and I've wondered how it would feel to go 150 mph in my car...but I don't do these things either. And no, there's no affair. I've never cheated on any girlfriend or my wife...and to me, when you're married, just buying a woman a drink is cheating...
Author LankyGuy Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 What you say is very true! But the guys that chase after every woman that comes along... they do it for ego reasons. They have something to prove to themselves. So you have nothing to prove! Thats a great foundation! Make your marriage the best ever! Go fix that thing. Thanks Cobra...I agree. My grandfather (my Dad's dad) spilled his guts to me a year or so before he died...telling me that he had slept with 100s of women in his days (while married to my grandma and during the 30 year relationship with his SO after their divorce). He did not seem fulfilled due to this. Grandpa flirted and cheated until his last days at age 82 and I find it quite sad that he was looking for some sort of inward approval based on approval by the ladies. And he spent the majority of his life depressed about his behavior...it was a vicious cycle that hurt his SO's and his kids. My Dad was probably not far behind... Our relationship has improved greatly over the last week while my wife and I have discussed numerous issues that have come to a head in the last couple of years. We still have a ways to go, but I feel the closeness starting to come back...the sex that we've had the past two days has been quite different...kinda like it was in the old days :-)
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