VIP Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 You can try dating others while he is doing the same, at the same time remaining friends with him. You never know, may be you meet somebody whom you can love. Your relationship is not exclusive now and it's his choice, so you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Just go with the flow, don't fight yourself and your feelings, sometimes if you love somebody too much, you cannot control your feelings no matter how much you try.
Trialbyfire Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 Oh, for crying out loud, there's no such thing as one person on this planet, who will rock your world. This soulmate stuff or eternal love is crap. Forgive my cynicism but you know what? There are literally billions of men out there, of which there are probably thousands who would love to make you happy. Right now, you're hurting because of what a jerk he is. It's not surprising but you will go through a few more stages of emotional upheaval and if you let yourself, you will move on. Not only will you move on, you will find someone better than the last. Believe it.
Author hopeforlove243 Posted September 25, 2007 Author Posted September 25, 2007 Trialbyfire, thank you for your post. I surely hope that I can move on. I just want to be happy again even if I am single. I don't think it is that easy to find a guy who I can fall in love as I did with him, I have good guys showing interests to me, yet, I have no interests in them at all, there is no 'click'. I am over 40 now, and from all the past relationship, I only found guys that make me feel they can complete my life. Sorry I am being negative here, but good news is that I am feeling better today.
Trialbyfire Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Now is not the time to say, okay, I can easily move on, now onto the next guy. Let yourself be sad, angry and all those emotions. Get them out. It will feel like the end of the world. Been there with my ex-H. But.... Know that there is life afterwards. Over 40 is nothing. You're still at a vital age where there will be someone for you, no matter how selective you are.
lonelybird Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 Trialbyfire, thank you for your post. I surely hope that I can move on. I just want to be happy again even if I am single. I don't think it is that easy to find a guy who I can fall in love as I did with him, I have good guys showing interests to me, yet, I have no interests in them at all, there is no 'click'. I am over 40 now, and from all the past relationship, I only found guys that make me feel they can complete my life. Sorry I am being negative here, but good news is that I am feeling better today. HI, hopeforlove243 did you ever read T.D Jakes book The lady, The lover, and her Lord? quite inspiring, and will comfort your soul, and never lose hope , you will never know what good thing will happen to you at next corner
Spinderella Posted September 25, 2007 Posted September 25, 2007 The longer you hang around in this dead end relationship the older youre gonna get. Its something to bear in mind. You are not old now, but you sure will feel it after keeping yourself in this draining situation for much longer. Also, agree with Trialbyfire, there are so many men in the world. I think every person goes through this, "what if I never meet someone else who....". For whatever reason rejection initially causes us to doubt ourselves, if it wasnt your age, it would be something else, believe me. So what about the other possibilities. What if you never meet someone else who decides they want you to hang around while they pursue other relationships? What ifs are pointless. Be positive. You are cutting yourself off from options by fearing you have no options, if you stay in this relationship. You would be creating the thing you fear. Glad you have decided to do NC, it may be tough at first, but gets easier and easier the stronger you feel. If you feel like contacting him, then post here or contact a friend.
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