syrus817 Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 I have been dating my gf for 9 months. I am 20 and she is 18 about to turn 19 in 2 weeks. I moved down to southern California which is about 9 hours by car from her. I didn't want to but i had already made plans with a good friend that i didn't want to bail on before i met her. A few months before i was going to leave we broke up because she felt that i was not interested in her and she didn't feel like it was worth being with me. This not being the case and i was scared to let her know how i felt because i was leaving, i told her that i loved her and we got back together(she didnt want to say "i love you" to me first). I moved down and things were goin great. She started College and is living in the dorms. She has never been in a relationship longer than 3 months. She even came down to see me 2 weeks ago.( i paid and her parents didn't know.) A week ago after having a conversation with her she told me she needs a break out of the blue. She told me she loves me and that she has never felt like this with anyone else before, but needs time to figure things out. All her new friends are single and she feels like she is being left out. She also mentioned another guy and is really confused. She told me she knows that we will end up together again but she just needs a break to be single. I was very taken aback by all of this because she had just seen me a week ago and everything was fine. I told her that i loved her and i didn't want to see her do this but if she loved me she would make the right choices and i told her ok with the break and figure things out. She told me she still wanted to talk everyday though and still see me when i come back home at the end of Oct. This past week has been hell for me, i cant eat, sleep and all i think about is her. I still talk to her but i don't know if i should anymore because its feeding her that im still here and that im ok with this when im not. I just dont know what to do.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 she just went to college and is surrounded by experiences; this includes, especially, new people. she wants to see what's out there without being tied down to a relationship, but she probably does still care about you so she doesn't want to completely end things with you. what she's doing is normal. if you have any hopes of this working out, give her her space. it might mean an inevitable break-up though, or you might still be together but she may have done things with other people that you won't like. it's rough, but you'll get through it. don't forget that if you're on a break, it's not just her, it's a break for you too. see what it's like to be single again, maybe you'll even find that you want to move on too. p.s. i wouldn't talk to her everyday on this break, or when she comes home if the break isn't over. part of a break isn't just seeing what's out there---you need to let her see what it's like not having you around to see or talk to whenever she wants.
bish Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 she just went to college and is surrounded by experiences; this includes, especially, new people. she wants to see what's out there without being tied down to a relationship, but she probably does still care about you so she doesn't want to completely end things with you. what she's doing is normal. if you have any hopes of this working out, give her her space. I actually agree here...give her her space...but give it to her for good. In other words...dump her. Whats the alternative? Give her this so-called "space" temporarily so she can hook up with other guys...then use this guy as a fall back when she's had her fill? I say this guy needs to move on and find someone that doesn't need to sow their oats. it might mean an inevitable break-up though, or you might still be together but she may have done things with other people that you won't like. BINGO!!!
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