18T Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 Hello everyone, I am new to this website and has recently broken up with my companion. I have read about this NC (No Contact) thing and made me think that there is a write up about this particular NC thing. Is there a thread that anyone can be kind enough and show me or can anyone explain to me the guidelines and maybe outcome of this NC thing. Thank you very much for the help. Have a great day.
Double D Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 Others can explain N/C much fuller than me but basically it is having ABSOULUTE NO CONTACT with you ex WHATSOEVER. Delete they number from your mobile. Delete them from your Instant Messenger putting all gifts and cards and stuff like that in a box and store it away or burn depending how you feel but differently out of sight. Thats for starters. Wish you well its a journey ahead but it well worth it. Continuing posting you really have some geniuses on this website.
Author 18T Posted September 22, 2007 Author Posted September 22, 2007 Thank you for the respond Double D and for the well wishes. Great hearing a community which will help me get through these emptiness I am now facing.
Double D Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 No problem 18T hope it helped a little. Hang in there. We are all in this together. Keep posting for help, guidance and just to vent.
Author 18T Posted September 22, 2007 Author Posted September 22, 2007 I have one question to ask. During this period of NC, what if the other party (the ex in this case) is the one to contact you? I have always been the one to contact everytime and lately I have been keeping the promise to my self not to contact the other party. What happened was my ex contacted me via instant message to ask how I was doing with couple of fillers here and there. Before this, I was the one to talk more when it comes to instant messages; asking this and that. But when we last talked online, it seemed like my ex was the one who did all the talking without questions being asked. Any suggestions on what I should do and what the meaning of this? Thanks again for the help guys.
Double D Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 You need to delete them from your instant message then you will have no need to message them back. You can if you want simply tell her I dont want to talk and Im trying a get on with my life and talking to you hurts.
Author 18T Posted September 22, 2007 Author Posted September 22, 2007 What's weird is the fact that it didn't hurt me talking to the ex. I just felt bitter and a little of disappointment toward the ex. I can also manage talking about the past with friends and families when it comes to the ex as it actually hurts me before. Does this mean that I am over it? I do however, want to see how things are working out between us. Eventhough I don't want to put my highest hope in this.
Trialbyfire Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 What are you hoping that NC will do for you?
Author 18T Posted September 22, 2007 Author Posted September 22, 2007 I guess I am just hoping for the best. I don't know if my ex was meant to be mine but if so; things will work out between us. I have heard that without contacting your ex; chances are the other party would find something is missing in their life. I guess this would be something I would like to happen but like I said, I wouldn't put my full hope on it. We ended in a pretty good term as I still cared about my ex even after we broke up.
Curious139 Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 We ended in a pretty good term as I still cared about my ex even after we broke up. That is good - here is a similar thread - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t129598/ NC is to allow you to heal. Every time you have contact you risk refreshing the pain and going backwards. Believe me, it is true. You need to remove all reminders of your ex from your life. Put photos etc in a box, you can look at them in the future when you are calm and in a better place. NC is hard, damned hard. The trouble is that if you contact her, you expect a response and almost inevitably the answer disappoints. More pain. If she contacts you, personally I think a polite reply explaining it hurts too much at the moment and you'll be in touch when you feel better. That way the choice is yours - you might never contact again. Another matter is NC makes a point with your ex and if she is going to miss you, it will be because absence makes the heart grow fonder. But you must not build hope on this - she may move on. There are situations where limited contact works so NC is the best strategy for most but occasionally it isn't necessary. Hope this helps.
Trialbyfire Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 If you really want to learn something about NC, use the search engine on Loveshack and look up the member Caliguy. He's our resident NC guru. Don't play games with NC. Either do it to move on or don't bother at all.
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