fever to tell Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 I have this terrible habit of being really cold to guys that I actually like. I finally made out with this guy I've liked for a long time. He slept over in my bed and we just cuddled and talked and made out; nothing beyond that. He told me I should come to his house for Thanksgiving. Today he surprised me by coming into my room. He tried to be affectionate towards me but I was sort of cold in response, out of awkwardness and confusion. I didn't see him for a large portion of the night, but just now we had a long talk and it was as if nothing had ever happened and the relationship was completely platonic. I really do like him. I've lost so many guys that I actually like by being hot and cold yet I can't help it! People tell me I'm very attractive and interesting to talk to, yet I can't help but feel that a guy that I like wouldn't like me back. Is it too late to salvage the chances for a relationship? Was a relationship even what he wanted? What can I do to redeem myself and how can I stop this habit??
Aintayankee Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 Maybe don't be so complicated. Dunno. Just don't be a yankee.
Author fever to tell Posted September 22, 2007 Author Posted September 22, 2007 Well whatdoyano, I am complicated and I am a yankee.
Cad Rake Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 Um, maybe you should stop making guys who like you think you don't like them?
Author fever to tell Posted September 22, 2007 Author Posted September 22, 2007 Um, maybe you should stop making guys who like you think you don't like them? I know! haha Do you think its too late with this guy? Is this what they call intamcy issues?
Cad Rake Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 could be. Time to talk to a shrink. Why don't you invite the guy over and give him a blow job.
uniqueone Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Is it too late to salvage the chances for a relationship? Was a relationship even what he wanted? No one can read his mind. That's what you need to find out by talking to him. I would suggest talking to him instead of sleeping next to him. What can I do to redeem myself and how can I stop this habit?? Be warm and friendly to redeem yourself. As for how to stop it.....that's going to take some work..... It's good that you're aware of it and want to change. That's a big first step. Now you have to examine why you do it. You wanted to be close to him but then the next time you pushed him away. Why do you think that was? My guess is that you didn't like that being close to him made you feel vulnerable. It opened you up to getting hurt. So you shut yourself off from getting hurt by turning cold. Then, when they're far enough away again, you feel it's safe to get a little closer again. It's like an invisible shield you have that you can raise or lower at the touch of a button. The way to overcome it is to strengthen yourself inside, because then you'll feel less vulnerable even if your shield is down.
kymberann Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 What are you afraid of? Obviously they like you if they are approaching you. It is scary to open up and reveal who you are, but being closed just sends the message telling people to go the other way!
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