uniqueone Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Quick background info is that we had a R when he was separated from her. More than a year after he returned to try to work it out (mostly because of kids)' date=' we began our A. We were friends first, we are always honest with each other. We never lie. He never bad mouthed her particularly, discussed actions rather than his interpretations of those actions. As well, we have mutual friends and their comments have only supported what he has said.[/b'] Don't get me wrong, I'm all for blaming the MM for 90% of the A but I still just don't see how you can't feel any guilt at all.
uniqueone Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Ladybug, if his W is not aware that you two are still friends then he's having an emotional affair with you still. So, you're really not friends, you're still an affair partner. If you were a friend, he'd have you around his W.
Author ladybug63 Posted September 23, 2007 Author Posted September 23, 2007 That could be a possibility. But I think he is just being cautious and I can't say I blame him because for his actions at this time I caused them.
Author ladybug63 Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 Horny woman getting some, Best advisor believe me I was getting MORE THAN SOME. Let's say some BIG things!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Belive me when I say he did things for me that wasn't even half.
PoshPrincess Posted September 24, 2007 Posted September 24, 2007 I'm going to disagree here....I don't think he truly loves his wife....or he wouldn't cheat on her. I agree. If he really loved his W he wouldn't have had a four year A. One small indiscretion, maybe, but a full-blown A is completely different IMO. LadyBug, in answer to your original question, I really don't think any couple who were once lovers can go on to being 'friends' as 9 times out of 10 there are usually feelings on one side that go beyond that of friendship. My exMM and I tried the friends thing to begin with because we didn't think we could bear to lose each other completely. He soon realised it was a bad idea though as deep down I constantly hoped we still might stand a chance and every now and again I let my guard down and confessed to still loving him. He couldn't handle it and we finished for good. As hard as it has been being without him I can definitely see that it was for the best. It was pure torture speaking to him and not being able to 'be' with him.
Author ladybug63 Posted September 24, 2007 Author Posted September 24, 2007 I'm going to disagree here....I don't think he truly loves his wife....or he wouldn't cheat on her. I agree. If he really loved his W he wouldn't have had a four year A. One small indiscretion, maybe, but a full-blown A is completely different IMO. LadyBug, in answer to your original question, I really don't think any couple who were once lovers can go on to being 'friends' as 9 times out of 10 there are usually feelings on one side that go beyond that of friendship. My exMM and I tried the friends thing to begin with because we didn't think we could bear to lose each other completely. He soon realised it was a bad idea though as deep down I constantly hoped we still might stand a chance and every now and again I let my guard down and confessed to still loving him. He couldn't handle it and we finished for good. As hard as it has been being without him I can definitely see that it was for the best. It was pure torture speaking to him and not being able to 'be' with him. I asked him what kind of friends? We can't be something we never really were. Are we going to just try to start a friendship? I saw him last night and in his own way he is trying to get back where he left off but the thing is I am not ready for sex. He didn't initiate it, he just said we will try and see what happens.believe me it was a sexual thing in the beginning, then it turned into more than that. I don't want him to feel like he want to return just for sex, but like I said he was still seeing and doing things for me. We just weren't being intimate.
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