StillConfused Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 I can't write to her directly. She does not know about me. But I guess I could ask forgiveness to all betrayed wives and betrayed girlfriends for the way I've acted and for what I've sought. i've been the other woman. it's already hurtful enough thinking that you're hurting another person (his wife / his girlfriend or her husband / her boyfriend) yet you found true love and you just don't know what to do. I have learnt my own lesson. Now I know, this is not true love. I mean, I agree that sometimes true love may arise in the most weird and difficult situations. I believe that some OW / OM have found true love with their MM/MW. Yet now I believe that it's true love only when everybody who's involved can be honest with each other and does not drag the "wrong" relationship forever. When it is dragged too much, it is no longer love. I guess, it's more of an addiction. Or a fear of being rejected. I hope that his girlfriend will be able to forgive me one day for thinking that her man was my true love and the right person for me (she does not know about me and I hope never will so that they can actually be happy together if they can). But let me apologize to her... Please forgive me... But he lied to me the same way he lied to you. During the different phases of our relationship he made me feel that I was the only woman in his life. That you were already gone. That the things were already resolved. That you were only planning to move your stuff out and just needed some time. Please forgive me that I believed him. But please understand me cause I was lied to the same way you've been lied to all this time. I wish you all the happiness... I hope you'll be able to recover from all the possible hurt that my presence in your boyfriend's life has inflicted to you. I'll never ever do this to anyone anymore... But I really wish that people were a bit more sincere and honest, and less manipulative. I have paid a just price for all the wrong I've done. Now I am ready to be a better person. Please don't judge me and please wish me all the best.
Lyssa Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 That was nicely written. I think everyone wishes that people were more sincere, honest and loyal but that usually isn't the case. It's just hard to find one who has all those qualities. Not saying there isn't any, just in minority. I hope you will stick to your words that you don't wish to do this to anyone ever again. I'm sure this is a learning process for you and everyone involved except the man. I wish you all the best and hope you will be blessed with an honest and loyal gentleman.
allegra1971 Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 My god, I loved this post.....just wanted to say that I wish I could be as brave and smart as you - I mean it. xxx
Cobra_X30 Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 A liar begins by making deceptions appear as the truth, and ends with making the truth appear as a deception. His greatest punishment is not that others will fail to believe him... but that he cannot believe anyone else!
whichwayisup Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 You also need to forgive yourself. You WILL find that true love again, with the right man who is available to love you back fully.
bish Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 Please forgive me... But he lied to me the same way he lied to you. During the different phases of our relationship he made me feel that I was the only woman in his life. That you were already gone. That the things were already resolved. That you were only planning to move your stuff out and just needed some time. Please forgive me that I believed him. But please understand me cause I was lied to the same way you've been lied to all this time. I wish you all the happiness... I hope you'll be able to recover from all the possible hurt that my presence in your boyfriend's life has inflicted to you. I'll never ever do this to anyone anymore... But I really wish that people were a bit more sincere and honest, and less manipulative. I have paid a just price for all the wrong I've done. Now I am ready to be a better person. Please don't judge me and please wish me all the best. Oh I'm going to judge you alright...and you know what?? You are doing just fine. You know you did wrong...you were lied to from the MM from the beginning, as opposed to alot of the OW here, you actually care about someone besides yourself, and you are taking steps to rectify a wrong situation...not here asking for advice what to do to keep an A going. You may have caused pain to a BS, but you didn't know it at the time and you don't want to be an accomplice to that pain any longer. Good luck with whatever you do.
outofdarkness Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 I can't write to her directly. She does not know about me. But I guess I could ask forgiveness to all betrayed wives and betrayed girlfriends for the way I've acted and for what I've sought. i've been the other woman. it's already hurtful enough thinking that you're hurting another person (his wife / his girlfriend or her husband / her boyfriend) yet you found true love and you just don't know what to do. I have learnt my own lesson. Now I know, this is not true love. I mean, I agree that sometimes true love may arise in the most weird and difficult situations. I believe that some OW / OM have found true love with their MM/MW. Yet now I believe that it's true love only when everybody who's involved can be honest with each other and does not drag the "wrong" relationship forever. When it is dragged too much, it is no longer love. I guess, it's more of an addiction. Or a fear of being rejected. I hope that his girlfriend will be able to forgive me one day for thinking that her man was my true love and the right person for me (she does not know about me and I hope never will so that they can actually be happy together if they can). But let me apologize to her... Please forgive me... But he lied to me the same way he lied to you. During the different phases of our relationship he made me feel that I was the only woman in his life. That you were already gone. That the things were already resolved. That you were only planning to move your stuff out and just needed some time. Please forgive me that I believed him. But please understand me cause I was lied to the same way you've been lied to all this time. I wish you all the happiness... I hope you'll be able to recover from all the possible hurt that my presence in your boyfriend's life has inflicted to you. I'll never ever do this to anyone anymore... But I really wish that people were a bit more sincere and honest, and less manipulative. I have paid a just price for all the wrong I've done. Now I am ready to be a better person. Please don't judge me and please wish me all the best. As a BW...I really appreciated your post..It was so nicely written...ood
frannie Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 Please forgive me... But he lied to me the same way he lied to you. During the different phases of our relationship he made me feel that I was the only woman in his life. That you were already gone. That the things were already resolved. I would bet everything I have that that is exactly how the vast majority of OW felt/feel. Of course we are exactly the same... the only thing different is on which side of the MM's time line we fit... and what spin he chooses to put. SC... I think this is a great post. But remember... don't go beating yourself up about it all. You are not to blame, whatever the LS party line may be... you know what happened... and you know your own heart. Best of luck with healing x
silktricks Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 This was a wonderful post. Most betrayed wives would, I believe, gladly forgive if we received an apology such as this. Now, as WWIU said, learn to forgive yourself. Peace
BestAdvisor1 Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 I can't write to her directly. She does not know about me. But I guess I could ask forgiveness to all betrayed wives and betrayed girlfriends for the way I've acted and for what I've sought. i've been the other woman. it's already hurtful enough thinking that you're hurting another person (his wife / his girlfriend or her husband / her boyfriend) yet you found true love and you just don't know what to do. I have learnt my own lesson. Now I know, this is not true love. I mean, I agree that sometimes true love may arise in the most weird and difficult situations. I believe that some OW / OM have found true love with their MM/MW. Yet now I believe that it's true love only when everybody who's involved can be honest with each other and does not drag the "wrong" relationship forever. When it is dragged too much, it is no longer love. I guess, it's more of an addiction. Or a fear of being rejected. I hope that his girlfriend will be able to forgive me one day for thinking that her man was my true love and the right person for me (she does not know about me and I hope never will so that they can actually be happy together if they can). But let me apologize to her... Please forgive me... But he lied to me the same way he lied to you. During the different phases of our relationship he made me feel that I was the only woman in his life. That you were already gone. That the things were already resolved. That you were only planning to move your stuff out and just needed some time. Please forgive me that I believed him. But please understand me cause I was lied to the same way you've been lied to all this time. I wish you all the happiness... I hope you'll be able to recover from all the possible hurt that my presence in your boyfriend's life has inflicted to you. I'll never ever do this to anyone anymore... But I really wish that people were a bit more sincere and honest, and less manipulative. I have paid a just price for all the wrong I've done. Now I am ready to be a better person. Please don't judge me and please wish me all the best. This is how lots of OW/OM and cheaters feel. You're a typical OW. There are certain lines you don't crossed such as sleeping with your own sibling or sleeping with a married man/woman. You've crossed that line.
child_of_isis Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 That was just the saddest post ever. I think you should call the gf and tell her that her bf is a liar and a cheat.
underpants Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 A liar begins by making deceptions appear as the truth, and ends with making the truth appear as a deception. His greatest punishment is not that others will fail to believe him... but that he cannot believe anyone else! This was such a poetic and spot on way of describing a liar. I had to write it down. Thank you.
Tomcat33 Posted September 22, 2007 Posted September 22, 2007 I can't write to her directly. She does not know about me. But I guess I could ask forgiveness to all betrayed wives and betrayed girlfriends for the way I've acted and for what I've sought. i've been the other woman. it's already hurtful enough thinking that you're hurting another person (his wife / his girlfriend or her husband / her boyfriend) yet you found true love and you just don't know what to do. I have learnt my own lesson. Now I know, this is not true love. I mean, I agree that sometimes true love may arise in the most weird and difficult situations. I believe that some OW / OM have found true love with their MM/MW. Yet now I believe that it's true love only when everybody who's involved can be honest with each other and does not drag the "wrong" relationship forever. When it is dragged too much, it is no longer love. I guess, it's more of an addiction. Or a fear of being rejected. I hope that his girlfriend will be able to forgive me one day for thinking that her man was my true love and the right person for me (she does not know about me and I hope never will so that they can actually be happy together if they can). But let me apologize to her... Please forgive me... But he lied to me the same way he lied to you. During the different phases of our relationship he made me feel that I was the only woman in his life. That you were already gone. That the things were already resolved. That you were only planning to move your stuff out and just needed some time. Please forgive me that I believed him. But please understand me cause I was lied to the same way you've been lied to all this time. I wish you all the happiness... I hope you'll be able to recover from all the possible hurt that my presence in your boyfriend's life has inflicted to you. I'll never ever do this to anyone anymore... But I really wish that people were a bit more sincere and honest, and less manipulative. I have paid a just price for all the wrong I've done. Now I am ready to be a better person. Please don't judge me and please wish me all the best. Stillconfused I think your name does not suit you, to me you don't sound confused. On the contrary, you sound very clear in assessing the situation that you have just lived. What you wrote could apply to most OW/OM for the most part and your post resonates with a lot of OP that have been in your shoes. I for one am one of them, in particular in how you feel you have been lied to just as the gf/w was. Find forgiveness in yourself, it seems you need to forgive yourself before you reach out to asking for anything more from the universe. Whether people forgive you or not is not going to mark your path. If you were put on earth to please everyone we would be plagued by Gandhis and Mother Theresas, but the reality is there are very few people as such that walk amongst us. Start by accepting yourself and understanding your choices and why this happened to you, which it sounds like you already are. Redemption does not come from the acceptance of the masses, rather it comes from the acceptance of the self. Once you can feel as one with the self you can reach any goal that you set your mind to reach. If it is becoming a better person, or giving back to society for the good that is coming into your own life then you will achive that once you are at peace with yourself. It's time to call some positive energy back into your life. Remember that a human that does no err is a human that has lived life paralized by fear. It sounds like you are feeling vulnerable right now, I wish you strength and good emotional health.
Author StillConfused Posted September 22, 2007 Author Posted September 22, 2007 I did not want for this post to be provocative. I wrote down my sincere feelings. So I hope that my words are taken exactly for what they are. There is no sadness in this post either . I am feeling great. Of course, I am sad for having entered a situation like this one and a half years ago. But I could not have imagined at the moment what really was going on and that I was being lied to. I did not stay because I was desperate. I stayed because I was his best friend (or at least I thought) and I could not leave him because every time I did, he ran after me telling me that I was the only friend he had, the only person that could help him and support him in his miserable situation. And I did not feel like abandoning "my best friend" in the most difficult time of his life (now I know it was all manipulation. He exploited my altruism). After 1,5 years I understood that it was all a lie. That she could not have been all that bad and mean as he told me she was. Otherwise, why in the hell, would he still stay there? But now I've left all this situation behind and I am looking forward to my future. I don't ask for anything for myself. I have everything I need for my own happiness. All I ask for is forgiveness. And I hope that she, my betrayed counterpart, will find the same strength to go forward in her life with or without him. Cause he does not deserve any pain. From any of us. The only person I feel I owe something is not myself, is not him, it's her. I think to be better off than her because at least I knew more than she ever did and I could make my own informed decisions. I don't want to tell her anything though (although someone here suggested that I do). She needs to find her own way to her happiness. If she's happy with him the way he is, then there is no need to shake her life...
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