i'm really hurting!

[livvy123]

My boyfriend of a year and a bit broke up with me 3 weeks ago, literally out of the blue, on the wednesday morning he stayed over and said in the morning that he didn't want to go to work as he wanted to stay with me all day and on the thursday i dropped his tax off at work and he said that he'd see me friday night. he didn't turm up i assumed he working late which he was, heard nothing on the saturday, rang him and he said tomorrow we need to talk about us, i asked what he hung up and txt i don't want to break up over the phone.

 

next day i go round he was stroppy and siad he wasn't expecting me ( i went round after txting him but he didn't reply so i went i needed answers) said it was complicated and doesn't konw whether he wanted a girlfriend at the moment, i left very upset. left it a week he was first to text me, didn't speak much for the 1st week, he asked me to go round on the tuesday of the 2nd week, he was back to his normal self he apoligised for his behaviour on the sunday night and basically said he had too much going on in his life at the moment a girlfriend was too much. said he wanted to be friends as he could stand not seeing me.

 

went round again on saturday, we did it, (which was a good thing as it showed me he hasn't fallen out of love with me as he was so careful and kind) he then said it was the age gap, i'm 19 hes 30 and said in the future i'd want to get married and have children whereas he doesn't as he already done that, he wanted to end it now rather than when we got too far into it. Fair enough except i don't want children or marraige. i told him tonight when i went round, he said he had to be honest. a girl at work fancies him and shes 26 and he fancies her back, he said there was something missing from our relationship and he thinks it was the age thing. he doesn't want to date this girl just yet as he still getting over me whim is the only person he is ever love hence why he is so worried about me usually hed tell the to bugger off, not nice but thta what he use to be like not with me he was perfect gentlemen and swet and kind.

 

anyway he said he fells like he would be cheating on me by having these thoughts of this other women if he was with me even if he does't go out with her he said he still feels bad. he suggested before i left that we dont see each other for a while as he has no willpower when im there and does things he regrets.

 

He really doesnt' want to hurt me.

 

want hurts the most is knowing hes hurting too. i can't imagine him doing the sweet things he did to me to someone else, i love him so much and miss him all the time, don't tell me to do the no contact thing it won't work i don't want to not speak to him i just need help on getting over him. im rwally hurting.